"Recalculating"

So, last night I went out and had a couple drinks (seriously 2 beers) and then headed home. Well I recently moved to a different part of town and I was coming from a different direction and I was looking to get a milkshake from Whataburger.

Well the line was long at the Whataburger, and I drove across the street to Sonic and took a minute to look at the menu. Then I pressed the button and they told me they were closed. (The clock had JUST changed, and I had just heard someone else order) So fuck that Sonic. I drive around and find a Jack in the Box. "We are out of milkshakes" the box says. WTF?!

I eventually found another Jack In The Box (I was on a mission dammit!) and got my damn milkshake.

So I head off home, using my GPS, since I had driven through half of Austin.

I am getting on one of our many RETARDED highway interchanges and this is what I hear from my snotty brittish female GPS unit.

"Keep right, then keep left", "Keep Right", "Recalculating"

All in about 5 seconds! Plus the image on the map LOOKs like I am going in the right direction until all of a sudden it jumps to another road!

So then it takes me to a different route.

"Ahead 400 ft. turn right, then keep right" "Keep right" "Turn Left" "RECALCULATING"

Mother #%#$%#$ Son of a @#$% WHAT THE F U C K?!?!?!

Even my goddam GPS can not figure out the f'ing roads in this town. I had the same situation literally happen 4 times while driving home.

How do you people drive in Austin!?

I have been here 3 years and I still get lost. And I am not bad with directions!

Well, the first rule is to accept that the roads were surveyed by a blind, drunken surveyor on a three legged horse in the middle of a thunderstorm on a moonless night.

Next memorize every intersection of major roads as road signs for them keep ending up in UT dorms.

The final rule is to only go to places that you know where they are as signs visible to drivers in time to let them safely change lanes or turn are forbidden by zoning ordinances.

The alternative rule is to just drive to somewhere then decide that's where you meant to end up.

To navigate Austin you need 0 beers or a six pack- been exploring since college in the 70's and everytime I get comfortable something new pops up. Did your snotty British companion turn you on or was she just after your milkshake? thegj

She was just snotty. I felt like she was getting perturbed with my lack of directional skills, but it wasn't my fault. Turn me on? No, I am not into being submissive, I don't want a Brittish DOM.

I wish I had a "sexy" voice for my garmin. Like I get in the car, turn on the GPS, and she says something like:

"Good evening sexy, thank you for turning me on. Where can I take you tonight?"

That would be nice.

Instead I will live with the current, cold, snippy brit who orders me where to turn. Geez at least she doesn't tell me what speed to drive. Maybe she should have a German or Russian accent...

Even my goddam GPS can not figure out the f'ing roads in this town. I had the same situation literally happen 4 times while driving home.

How do you people drive in Austin!?

I have been here 3 years and I still get lost. And I am not bad with directions! Originally Posted by rekcaSxT

LOL. Living in Austin over 30 years, I still get lost in some parts of Austin. Some of the road systems in this town are laughable. I wonder how often they update or map out the GPS points. During the Holidays went Christmas lighting with family, knew where we were going, but after you take so many different turns got turned around. So, turned on the GPS unit, the freaking thing made it look like we were in the middle of a field, yet there were houses around. Then you find yourself yelling at this stupid machine, saying we are sitting in the middle of a subdivision. So, turned it off, drove a little further, ended up recognizing a water tower, thank goodness for old landmarks.

And speaking of Austin Road systems, what is it with this town and unfinished Exchanges, you know the ones...

Your Heading I35 North coming upon Ben White and you need to go to the airport, one would think just take a right on the overpass...but no, you have to get off wait at the light, turn then what go through several lights, etc.

Let's see where else, oh yeah heading east on Ben White to IH 35 South (now that one is a joke); 183 south to I35 North, and I believe there is unfinished exchanges in South Austin on Mopac.

I'm just Simply Amazed!

Dude.... Lived there for several years in the 80's and had a blast! Left around '88, but went back every now and again but always stayed downtown or on campus. Didn't stray up north. Then in '98 went there for a job interview. I came in on 290 and when I got to 35 I thought I would head north to see if the hotel was on this side of the highway and if not I would turn around at 183. Well I get to where I thought 183 was and saw all the roads going every which way and was totally lost, didn't know what to do. It was night time so I went up to the next one and made the u-turn. The next day I went riding around and found out 183 had been elevated. Totally freaked me out. Austin was not the same. It was a sleepy little college town back when I first moved there......

The next day I went riding around and found out 183 had been elevated. Totally freaked me out. Austin was not the same. It was a sleepy little college town back when I first moved there...... Originally Posted by srvfin

No Kidding, back in the days when 183 was nothing but lights, dang even Ben White was nothing but lights. I like them now, but boy has Austin changed.

I do miss the days when it only took 20 mins to get from Slaughter Lane (South Austin) to Pflugerville.

No Kidding, back in the days when 183 was nothing but lights, dang even Ben White was nothing but lights. I like them now, but boy has Austin changed.

I do miss the days when it only took 20 mins to get from Slaughter Lane (South Austin) to Pflugerville. Originally Posted by Sensuous Pleaser

20 minutes from Slaughter to P-town? GEEZ!

Things really must have changed.

And honestly the Austin I had heard so many good things about when I decided to move here 3 years ago must have been the Austin of those days gone by. Because I am honestly getting kind of sick of this town. It isn't what I expected. And after being here 3 years I still don't find a place or a group I can fit into. I feel like I have to be super hippie or uber yuppie.

20 minutes from Slaughter to P-town? GEEZ!

Things really must have changed.

And honestly the Austin I had heard so many good things about when I decided to move here 3 years ago must have been the Austin of those days gone by. Because I am honestly getting kind of sick of this town. It isn't what I expected. And after being here 3 years I still don't find a place or a group I can fit into. I feel like I have to be super hippie or uber yuppie. Originally Posted by rekcaSxT

Well traffic what 10-15 years ago was never as bad as it is now, I35 wasn't a parking lot, yeah it got backed up downtown during rush hour but not like it is these days. I do miss Austin when it had that small town feeling built into the city, but it has grown so much in the last few years.

Funny I thought the Hippie thing in Austin would have died years ago, but I guess with Eeyore's Birthday, Marley Fest, SXSW and other events it is still going strong.

I have nothing against hippies, I am obviously into Marley Fest.

I have nothing against the yuppies either. I like the finer things in life and I am somewhat yuppie myself.

But I am not truly one or the other.

Yeah I know what you mean. I use to love going to Eeyore's Bday,*** Staff edit. Forbidden subject. *** but I get what you are saying, doesn't seem to be much in the middle, here in Austin.

I grew up in Chicago: streets run north/south and east/west on the magnetic compass, streets are numbered 800 to the mile, the lake is always on the east. I moved to Austin and got lost for about a year. Before Google Maps I was still getting lost even having a navigational system and Yahoo Maps.