Providers & Hobbyists, anyone close know your secret life?

I've talked to a number of providers over the years, they've usually been the ones to bring up the subject during conversation towards the end of a session....a few have confessed that their grown kids know what they do for a living, one told me her three daughters accepted it but her son didn't.....another told me her daughter knew but she didn't trust telling her son because he probably wouldn't accept it...

I've never told anyone close to me about my hobby, one time I was about 7 hours away from home in a sports bar getting something to eat....I was at the bar and struck up a conversation with a guy sitting on the next barstool. Told him my back hurt and I was thinking about going to an AMP to get a massage (which was partially true but I already had an appointment with an independent the next day but didn't tell him those details). So he asked me if the massage girls would do anything I wanted them to do....I shrugged my shoulders and told him maybe the right girl for the right money (I didn't want to get into detail with explaining BBFS and other acronyms giving away the info that I see escorts, not into BBFS but didn't want to tell him that it's almost completely shunned) played it down like some newbie that didn't know.

So about 5 minutes later the bartender shows up with my food, she put the plate in front of me. The guy I was talking to points his thumb at me, looks at the bartender and says "this guy sees prostitutes."

I had to react fast, I didn't want to scowl at him although the scowl could be taken either 2 ways of "how dare you tell on me" or of the "how dare you lie about me" so I just grinned and chuckled at the bartender and said "five or six a day, I don't know how I do it, I must have the stamina of a horse!"

She chuckled a little and left....all I could think of was how he twisted what I said and was this some "public shaming" by the preacher's son? I never said another word to him, sat there eating my burger, he left about 10 minutes later. The bartender came back over about 5 minutes after he left....I asked her "who was that guy...I told him my back hurt and I was going to a massage parlor and he turned it into a porn flick." She just shrugged her shoulders claiming she didn't know.

Last time I ever gave out a hint of what I was doing...no harm to me because I was so far away from home that nobody close to me would know. Honestly there's nobody close to me that I trust telling my secret life about...last thing I need is sitting with a group a friends or a date and have someone walk up to the table and say "Hey, you gonna see that same prostitute this weekend?" Or have someone like a "friend" walk up to my table while I'm off in the restroom to "warn" my date of my past activities.

I have the attitude and ability to keep secrets like that if a friend confessed to me about such a lifestyle, but I don't have any friends that I trust enough to keep my own activities a secret. There is a code in place that certain things aren't discussed in public....if I publicly met someone in the scene that I knew I would either not acknowledge them or address them in casual terms like "hey, how you doing..." Something vanilla and general. Privacy and discretion are important and there are just codes to follow.

I was in a bar one night, the old guy next to me barked at the bartender who was standing 8 feet away "gimme the Dolphins if the number is six, if it's five I want the Chiefs." I turned away as he was barking this so nobody thought he was talking to me and played like I wasn't paying attention and didn't hear it, but he just outed the bartender as a bookie when there were at least 20 people around to easily hear it. THAT is the code I'm talking about. I knew the bartender was a bookie but was always secretive about that knowledge and whatever business I did with him was in private or when nobody else was around, note passing and payoffs and everything was discreet as it should be. I don't think the bartender did much business with the old guy after that, told him another time the line he crossed and just poured him drinks.

I tend to judge people by how much they gossip....if they're talking to you about a lot of other people then it's a sure thing they'll be talking about YOU when you leave. Almost guaranteed. Never got caught up in that whole gossip thing.

Just curious.....you ever told a friend or someone you trust about your secret life?

huh????

I have a couple of friends I have told, and all is have crossed back and forth between being in a committed relationship, relationships ending, and using the hobby during in-between relationships.

These friends and I met each other during our bj days. The days we would head down to the stroll and get bj. We gave each other tips on providers, and still to this day meet for lunch once a month to discuss the hobby.

As far as family members, I have always believed keep your Hobb life separate from your personal life.

I am about as private as Charlie Sheen.

I am an infrequent hobbyist, but an active lurker here. I have never shared any hobby experience with anyone except through this board or the old ASPD board.

Wait, wat . . . .

I do have this fantasy where I set an appointment with a hottie off BP or similar site. When I walk in it turns out to be a bait-n-switch, but the girl is actually someone I know .; a neighbor's daughter, a younger co-worker etc. Over the years that someone has changed of course. Anyway, it never happens.

So just this week, made a phone call and had a provider showed up at my hotel room. Immediately I knew her from somewhere, but couldn't place it. Went threw the session, when it dawned on me I went to high school with her. Opened up face book as she is giving me head, sure enough, friends with her on Facebook, there she is sucking me off.

In a nutshell we are talking about social acceptance of this hobby. I don't think it is anywhere near gambling or sports betting which has pretty much gone mainstream. I have several people in my life I have no issue talking betting with. But you are correct when it comes to hobbying, it is way different.
As for the guy in the bar that labeled you, because that is what he did, deserved a punch in the nose but I like your comeback keeping it witty. AMPs have a terrible rep and it is mainstream to associate them with prostitution, especially given the recent media events surrounding them. So he labeled you based on this stereotype. That should be expected in that situation I think.

All that being said and with respect to hobbying, lets all know this is not the 1800's anymore. Prostitution comes in all shapes and forms now from a trick in a crowd at a concert to SA type situations to weekend getaways or month long reservations. It isn't as socially acceptable but the ways it is happening is widespread like no other time before. I use to have a buddy where we were at similar situations in our life after divorces and we would frequent night life everywhere, traveled and gambled, shared stories of providers and even shared a girlfriend...something I miss and I think it is hard to find a friend like that. Hobbying can be lonely because it isn't something you share...he was on this site as am I but both of us have changed handles/accounts since. Unfortunately he was that gossip type and I didn't like just how open in public he would be at times.

I get your question here. Feel free to PM me.

So just this week, made a phone call and had a provider showed up at my hotel room. Immediately I knew her from somewhere, but couldn't place it. Went threw the session, when it dawned on me I went to high school with her. Opened up face book as she is giving me head, sure enough, friends with her on Facebook, there she is sucking me off. Originally Posted by Fizley

Yeah. ..thats sorta my fantasy . . .and you lived it. Congrats!

Did you "come-out" to her on that?

Yeah. ..thats sorta my fantasy . . .and you lived it. Congrats!

Did you "come-out" to her on that? Originally Posted by ICU 812

Yes I did and she freaked out.

We went to dinner afterwards and she seemed better, but probably would just keep it my secret in the future.

1) Don't ever talk about Fight Club!

Wait, wat . . . .

I do have this fantasy where I set an appointment with a hottie off BP or similar site. When I walk in it turns out to be a bait-n-switch, but the girl is actually someone I know .; a neighbor's daughter, a younger co-worker etc. Over the years that someone has changed of course. Anyway, it never happens. Originally Posted by ICU 812

So just this week, made a phone call and had a provider showed up at my hotel room. Immediately I knew her from somewhere, but couldn't place it. Went threw the session, when it dawned on me I went to high school with her. Opened up face book as she is giving me head, sure enough, friends with her on Facebook, there she is sucking me off. Originally Posted by Fizley

I have that fantasy as well. There's a few girls I have kinda wondered, I don't think they do anything but they might very likely be on onlyfans or something, and might if they knew more about it. Just hard to find them online!

There is one girl from high school I had a crush on, 20 years ago! Actually had a date with her a few months ago, and she looks a LOT like one of the popular local providers. It's not her, but it adds an element to those visits

My girlfriend knows, she actually encouraged it when we were starting to experiment with opening our relationship. She's even joined me at "special events". She's told a couple of people that are 'in the lifestyle'. One friend of hers who wanted to help her husband out who drives a truck and is away a lot, and a mutual play friend of ours.

The closest I've come is telling people that I have a massage appointment. Sometimes they'll ask who I see and I just tell them an independent masseuse that's not currently accepting patients. Technically it's completely true, since I do mostly do massages rather than FS. Alas, my ATF masseuse is gone now

Nope, I dont tell anyone. There are people around me who suspect, but they dont get too nosy.

There are several people I know who are well aware that my sexual relations do not always commence without a cost. None of them care... The ones who would care are probably those who view reality through a distorted lens. Such as : a deeply religious person who has experienced sexual violence in the past and has a young daughter. This is exactly the kind of person who would be most likely to think all prostitution involves victimization of some sort. And in truth some of it does; there are pimps, drug abuse, and all kinds of other nasty stuff out there. But that's half the story; not the kind of thing I would ever get involved with. Most people who are critical of others sexual interactions are either misinformed, or simply malicious idiots with nothing better to do with their time.

Just my dog, and he swears he won't tell anyone.