It's not directly related but it felt like there was some wisdom in the following:
There’s no nice way to say ‘no’
Posted on August 14, 2011 by Jenna
If a model wants to last a long time in this industry without making enemies, one must learn very quickly how to decline an offer as politely as they can and not think about how the photographer will feel about it.
Many photographers will feel offended. Sometimes, they’ll get angry and curse you and swear at you and insult you and call you names. They’ll say, “I’m not good enough for you?” and then go on to tell you why they think you suck (even if you don’t). Or they’ll write you off and, as much as they said before that they really want to work with you, they will never ever contact you for a photoshoot ever again.
To survive, one must grow a thick skin. You can’t control how people will react to your declinations. Some of them believe they are the next Tim Walker when they’re no better than my two-year-old niece, and they will ask you to work for free and throw a tantrum (like my two-year-old niece) when you say ‘no.’
If you’re fortunate, they will say ‘ok’ and that will be the end of that. That happened this morning: He said he wants to work with me, do I have any specific ideas (no), he has a specific idea and would I work TF. I declined, he said ‘OK’ and I will probably never hear from him again, seeing as he didn’t even wish me well. I guess he didn’t want to work with me that badly.
The key to all of this is to take things at face value. Don’t read into it, don’t think they’re being sarcastic or patronizing, don’t believe that they’re offended by your response.
The big caveat here is, your response has to be impossible to be offended by. You can’t go wrong with “No, thank you” or “Not at this time.”
Explanation is not necessary. It really isn’t. That doesn’t mean that you can’t give them one anyway. In that case, the best policy is honesty. However, you can’t say, “Your work is terrible at best,” unless you want a tirade and a complaint thread dedicated to you (because some photographers are that childish).
What works? “I’m going in another direction,” “I’m looking for paid work at this time,” or “I’m not interested in that concept.” Well, they’re true! And they’re not offensive.
Modeling and photography is a business. It’s not personal… unless you have a reputation for raping your models (oh yes, they’re out there). True professionals treat it as a business, and people who don’t won’t last long.