Okay, time to lighten things up and poke some fun at ourselves. What is the funniest thing that has happened to you in a meeting? You don't have to give names if you don't want to. I'll go first.
I'm having a great time with a lady, we've done a bunch of different things to/for each other and we are in a great mish groove with her ankles on my shoulders. I can feel the eruption build, so I pull out with the intention of blasting all over her stomach and tits (hell, her face too if I end up shooting that far).
I'm kneeling in front of her with her ankles still on my shoulders and I go to rip the wrapper off when... SNAP!!! The rubber breaks and I feel the excrutiating pain that I can only equate to pulling a big rubber band to the breaking point and snapping it on the head of my cock!
It hurt like hell but I immediately started laughing because it was funny as fuck. Here I am trying to be all pornstar and pull a Peter North on her, and I end up racking myself. Needless to say, the need to blow went away immediately, along with my boner. But she was a super sport and finished me off with a fantastic bbbj.
Okay, now it's your turn. This is for guys and girls.
- causewaycommuter
- 03-11-2010, 10:09 AM
- trekker
- 03-11-2010, 12:09 PM
I had a similar experience with a condom stretching instead of coming off when I tried to take it off for COB. The expression on the providers face as she writhed to avoid the popping rubber was hilarious!
I remember one session with New Orleans Natalie when she moaned out loud and her dog in the next room answered with a howl.
I remember one session with New Orleans Natalie when she moaned out loud and her dog in the next room answered with a howl.
- frikinout75
- 03-11-2010, 04:15 PM
about 5 years ago i met this hot girl at a bar in the qtr, we agreed on an arrangement and we went to her house. We were going full speed, when I stood up and she started blowing me, right when I started busting my nut, her mother walks right bye and says hi baby, don't be up to late...........daughter with cum in her mouth says ok mama!!!
I was like damn...........that was erotically wierd, but fun
I was like damn...........that was erotically wierd, but fun
- causewaycommuter
- 03-11-2010, 04:57 PM
Those are both pretty damn funny!
I remembered about my first reviewed experience on ASPD. It was with the twins that still post on BP. One of them was riding me rcg while the other was doing something else. We're going at it like gangbusters when *BAM* the supports under the futon broke. After we all looked at each other like "oh shit, we broke the bed!," we all laughed our asses off and the girl that wasn't riding me gave me a high 5! LMAO
I remembered about my first reviewed experience on ASPD. It was with the twins that still post on BP. One of them was riding me rcg while the other was doing something else. We're going at it like gangbusters when *BAM* the supports under the futon broke. After we all looked at each other like "oh shit, we broke the bed!," we all laughed our asses off and the girl that wasn't riding me gave me a high 5! LMAO
- trekker
- 03-11-2010, 05:26 PM
about 5 years ago i met this hot girl at a bar in the qtr, we agreed on an arrangement and we went to her house. We were going full speed, when I stood up and she started blowing me, right when I started busting my nut, her mother walks right bye and says hi baby, don't be up to late...........daughter with cum in her mouth says ok mama!!!That's freakin' hilarious!
I was like damn...........that was erotically wierd, but fun Originally Posted by frikinout75
Reminds me of my fantasy of doing it with a stripper in VIP while the waitress takes our drink order and joins in after she serves the drinks.
- DallasRain
- 03-11-2010, 10:08 PM
damn where do I start??? lol!!{ I could write a book}
I once had a guy in Albuquerque who asked me if he could bring his dog in with him...I noticed he had a small car,so I thought ok it must be a small dog{wrong,it was a german shepard}....The whole time I was riding him hot & heavy,the dog was laying on the floor by the bed quietly....well when the guy started cumming,he let out a loud scream and the dog jumped on the bed and tried to bite me! I learned my lesson about "NO PETS IN THE ROOM"that day...lol!!
Once in Santa Fe I saw a guy regularly...the third time I saw him,he was wearing a chasity belt{OMFG can you say "dark ages"??}...His wife had found my name in his wallet and she was worried about his cheating...so when she was going on a business trip out of state,she ordered one for him...he had confiscated the key so he could open it for our playtime....Then when we were done,he washed up & locked himself back in it......That was weird!
The best one lately is.....I saw a 64 year old man who had not had sex in 40 years! He was a bachelor & had been living with his mom,dad & sister all his life....finally after his mom & dad died and his sister moved out of the house,he decided to get in the hobby... ..I was at his place and was riding his face..I was grabbing onto the headboard and having a helluva ride,when he blurted out "You can thank my momma for the great headboard you are grabbing onto...it was her bed"!!{ I just hope she did not die in it...lol}...The next time I went to his house,I made him do me on the living room floor!
I could go on & on,but I wanna let someone else answer...lol!
I once had a guy in Albuquerque who asked me if he could bring his dog in with him...I noticed he had a small car,so I thought ok it must be a small dog{wrong,it was a german shepard}....The whole time I was riding him hot & heavy,the dog was laying on the floor by the bed quietly....well when the guy started cumming,he let out a loud scream and the dog jumped on the bed and tried to bite me! I learned my lesson about "NO PETS IN THE ROOM"that day...lol!!
Once in Santa Fe I saw a guy regularly...the third time I saw him,he was wearing a chasity belt{OMFG can you say "dark ages"??}...His wife had found my name in his wallet and she was worried about his cheating...so when she was going on a business trip out of state,she ordered one for him...he had confiscated the key so he could open it for our playtime....Then when we were done,he washed up & locked himself back in it......That was weird!
The best one lately is.....I saw a 64 year old man who had not had sex in 40 years! He was a bachelor & had been living with his mom,dad & sister all his life....finally after his mom & dad died and his sister moved out of the house,he decided to get in the hobby... ..I was at his place and was riding his face..I was grabbing onto the headboard and having a helluva ride,when he blurted out "You can thank my momma for the great headboard you are grabbing onto...it was her bed"!!{ I just hope she did not die in it...lol}...The next time I went to his house,I made him do me on the living room floor!
I could go on & on,but I wanna let someone else answer...lol!
- docdavid49
- 03-12-2010, 05:46 AM
Similar to Dallas' dog story. Was with a new girl friend not a provider, happened almost 30 years ago and I remember it like it was yesterday.. This new lady and I were getting hot and heavy with DFK and all sorts of touchy feely stuff. We get naked and are just about to start in missionary her 135 pound Great Dane sticks his nose right into my a hole. Good thing she was nice and wet or I would have hurt both of us.
- frikinout75
- 03-12-2010, 01:23 PM
- stavinChain
- 03-13-2010, 11:19 AM
- DallasRain
- 03-13-2010, 11:34 AM
Stavin--lolo---yes!! {the title is "A Funny Thing happened on the way to the bedroom"}
I can now top my other stories....last nite I had a session with a 31 year old virgin!!
He said that the only thing he ever had wrapped around his Johnson before was his hand....I hope I did not "ruin" him for the next girl...lol!!!!
{guess my ads need to read "virgin friendly"}
Damn I love my Job!!!!
I can now top my other stories....last nite I had a session with a 31 year old virgin!!
He said that the only thing he ever had wrapped around his Johnson before was his hand....I hope I did not "ruin" him for the next girl...lol!!!!
{guess my ads need to read "virgin friendly"}
Damn I love my Job!!!!
- dilbert firestorm
- 03-13-2010, 03:10 PM
Stavin--lolo---yes!! {the title is "A Funny Thing happened on the way to the bedroom"}he's technically a virgin if he was using a condom.
I can now top my other stories....last nite I had a session with a 31 year old virgin!!
He said that the only thing he ever had wrapped around his Johnson before was his hand....I hope I did not "ruin" him for the next girl...lol!!!!
{guess my ads need to read "virgin friendly"}
Damn I love my Job!!!! Originally Posted by DallasRain
- MrGiz
- 03-13-2010, 03:22 PM
Similar to Dallas' dog story. Was with a new girl friend not a provider, happened almost 30 years ago and I remember it like it was yesterday.. This new lady and I were getting hot and heavy with DFK and all sorts of touchy feely stuff. We get naked and are just about to start in missionary her 135 pound Great Dane sticks his nose right into my a hole. Good thing she was nice and wet or I would have hurt both of us. Originally Posted by docdavid49Wasn't Patricia from Chalmette, was it?
She was a good ole girl.... never cared for the GD though!
- I B Hankering
- 03-13-2010, 11:17 PM
I blogged this several years ago shortly after the event so I would not forget the delicious details. It was a remarkable weekend for me. I have re-edited it to share with you here, and I took out her name because she is a “civilian”. Sorry it's so long, but I think you'll like it.
I hooked up with this cute, African American woman I met while I was working in Richmond, VA., several years ago. She was in her late twenties, and I was in my mid- thirties. The chemistry was right, so one weekend we decided to check into a hotel for a little one on one fun. It was Saturday evening and, except for meals, we had pretty much made a day of it in the room, but we had gone out for supper. A couple of hours after we’d returned from supper, and just after we’d finished a round, she suggested we go to the whirlpool for an encore. It was about 11 PM by this time, and I was “up” for it.
We rinsed off in the shower in the room, and by the time she was finished attending to “cleaning” Willie and the boys, I was more than ready for another throw. We dried off, and I put on gym shorts and she wrapped up in a bath towel that “just” covered all of the important parts. We went to the elevator and found our way to the pool area. I climbed into the Jacuzzi whirlpool with my shorts on, while she unwrapped the towel and let it fall to the deck before she descended, completely naked, into the whirlpool. I sat on the bench in the tub and she very coyly pulled herself up to me and pulled my shorts down to my ankles exposing Willie and the boys to her groping fingers and hands. She caressed my face with her warm breath before once again embracing me in an open-mouthed kiss. As our tongues tangled, her hand stroked Willie. I let my hands run up and down her naked, brown back and explore her curvaceous, brown ass.
She hesitated long enough to guide me into her, and then she very slowly began to undulate her hips just enough to keep me rock hard but not enough to cause ejaculation as we continued our romantic embrace. Unfortunately, some hotel guests came strolling by and disturbed the moment. I do not know if they saw anything, but I decided we needed to go back the room. She really wanted to keep playing in the Jacuzzi, but finally agreed it was wiser to return to the room.
I pulled up my shorts and stepped out the pool and she donned her towel. We went to the elevator where we met three hotel guests, men who appeared to be in their late twenties or early thirties, who were going to share the ride with this lovely woman and me. They were just a bit tipsy with drink; thus, not at all socially inhibited.
Needless to say, those three young men stared goggled-eyed at my gorgeous nymph so enticingly wrapped in that single, lonesome wet towel that only served to accentuate her curvaceous body. As the elevator went up, the young men complimented her on her looks. She thanked them and explained we’d been at the whirlpool and that is why she had “only” a bath towel on. One of the men picked-up on her hint that she was naked underneath the towel; nevertheless, they doubted her veracity and said so. When we reached our floor, and as we were exiting the elevator, she let the towel drop before she stepped out of the elevator. She did a full body turn exposing all of her delights to the flabbergasted men. She then followed me down the hallway towards our room: nonchalantly dragging the towel in one hand behind her as we walked. When I looked back down the hall towards the elevator, I saw my lady purposely walking with a cross over step that accentuated the jiggling in her ass. Those three guys had their heads stuck out of the elevator like ostriches – their tongues on the floor in lust and disbelief, and their eyes were glued on her gorgeous ass until we went around a corner. Until the elevator door closed and cut off their voices, we could hear them as they ecstatically reviewed their moment of good fortune for being in the right place at the right time. I grinned like the cat that ate the canary while my girl flashed a bright smile and laughed heartily at the whole humorous affair. Let me tell you I had to pinch myself because I couldn’t believe my good fortune to be with this wonderfully, wild and unpredictable vixen.
Once we got back in the room, we didn’t leave again until checkout time Sunday. One of the other recent threads was discussing GFE and PSE: that was a PSE weekend—I know the definition.
I hooked up with this cute, African American woman I met while I was working in Richmond, VA., several years ago. She was in her late twenties, and I was in my mid- thirties. The chemistry was right, so one weekend we decided to check into a hotel for a little one on one fun. It was Saturday evening and, except for meals, we had pretty much made a day of it in the room, but we had gone out for supper. A couple of hours after we’d returned from supper, and just after we’d finished a round, she suggested we go to the whirlpool for an encore. It was about 11 PM by this time, and I was “up” for it.
We rinsed off in the shower in the room, and by the time she was finished attending to “cleaning” Willie and the boys, I was more than ready for another throw. We dried off, and I put on gym shorts and she wrapped up in a bath towel that “just” covered all of the important parts. We went to the elevator and found our way to the pool area. I climbed into the Jacuzzi whirlpool with my shorts on, while she unwrapped the towel and let it fall to the deck before she descended, completely naked, into the whirlpool. I sat on the bench in the tub and she very coyly pulled herself up to me and pulled my shorts down to my ankles exposing Willie and the boys to her groping fingers and hands. She caressed my face with her warm breath before once again embracing me in an open-mouthed kiss. As our tongues tangled, her hand stroked Willie. I let my hands run up and down her naked, brown back and explore her curvaceous, brown ass.
She hesitated long enough to guide me into her, and then she very slowly began to undulate her hips just enough to keep me rock hard but not enough to cause ejaculation as we continued our romantic embrace. Unfortunately, some hotel guests came strolling by and disturbed the moment. I do not know if they saw anything, but I decided we needed to go back the room. She really wanted to keep playing in the Jacuzzi, but finally agreed it was wiser to return to the room.
I pulled up my shorts and stepped out the pool and she donned her towel. We went to the elevator where we met three hotel guests, men who appeared to be in their late twenties or early thirties, who were going to share the ride with this lovely woman and me. They were just a bit tipsy with drink; thus, not at all socially inhibited.
Needless to say, those three young men stared goggled-eyed at my gorgeous nymph so enticingly wrapped in that single, lonesome wet towel that only served to accentuate her curvaceous body. As the elevator went up, the young men complimented her on her looks. She thanked them and explained we’d been at the whirlpool and that is why she had “only” a bath towel on. One of the men picked-up on her hint that she was naked underneath the towel; nevertheless, they doubted her veracity and said so. When we reached our floor, and as we were exiting the elevator, she let the towel drop before she stepped out of the elevator. She did a full body turn exposing all of her delights to the flabbergasted men. She then followed me down the hallway towards our room: nonchalantly dragging the towel in one hand behind her as we walked. When I looked back down the hall towards the elevator, I saw my lady purposely walking with a cross over step that accentuated the jiggling in her ass. Those three guys had their heads stuck out of the elevator like ostriches – their tongues on the floor in lust and disbelief, and their eyes were glued on her gorgeous ass until we went around a corner. Until the elevator door closed and cut off their voices, we could hear them as they ecstatically reviewed their moment of good fortune for being in the right place at the right time. I grinned like the cat that ate the canary while my girl flashed a bright smile and laughed heartily at the whole humorous affair. Let me tell you I had to pinch myself because I couldn’t believe my good fortune to be with this wonderfully, wild and unpredictable vixen.
Once we got back in the room, we didn’t leave again until checkout time Sunday. One of the other recent threads was discussing GFE and PSE: that was a PSE weekend—I know the definition.