A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, 'Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to heaven?'
Grandma replied, 'Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The religious programs make me feel good and the comedies make me laugh ... I'm happy with my TV as my boyfriend.'
Grandma turned on the TV, and the reception was terrible. She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus.
Frustrated, she started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem.
The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door and there stood Grandma's minister.
The minister said, 'Hello son, is your Grandma home?'
The little boy replied, 'Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' her boyfriend'
The minister fainted.
- Ginger Doll
- 08-31-2011, 12:07 AM
- Sweet N Little
- 08-31-2011, 09:08 AM
LOL Ginger!!
Grandma & Grandpa are sitting on the porch, when all of a sudden Grandma slaps Grandpa. "That's for 50 years of the worst sex I've ever had."
They're both silent for ten minutes. Then Grandpa slaps Grandma.
"That's for knowin' the difference."
Grandma & Grandpa are sitting on the porch, when all of a sudden Grandma slaps Grandpa. "That's for 50 years of the worst sex I've ever had."
They're both silent for ten minutes. Then Grandpa slaps Grandma.
"That's for knowin' the difference."
- Howl at the Moon
- 08-31-2011, 09:43 AM
Cinderella is now retired, long after Prince Chaming passed on. Unfortunately, the castle was not paid for and there were no savings- so Cindy was spending her later years in a small cottage, taking in washing and darning work from local dwarves. her only companion was her tabby cat. One day, after a hard day's work she was sitting on the front porch of her cottage and poof! Her fairy god mother appears.
"Oh my my this will not do at all! I have been away and never dreamed I would find you in this state. Well we are going to have to change some things here. Sorry, one castle to a customer and I cannot make money or gold- but I can at least make you less lonely. You need a companion. A good looking younger man who will be loving and devoted to you." She looks around and spies the cat- points her wand and poof, he is changed to a Richard Gere in his early 30's look alike.
"That should do. Well- enjoy life, cindy. I am off!" As quickly as she arrived, the fairy is gone.
The young man comes over to Cindy and gently pulls her from the chair. She is mesmerized by his charm, feline poise and good looks. He takes her in his arms, kisses her deeply, looks into her eyes and says,
"I bet now you wish you had not had me neutered."
"Oh my my this will not do at all! I have been away and never dreamed I would find you in this state. Well we are going to have to change some things here. Sorry, one castle to a customer and I cannot make money or gold- but I can at least make you less lonely. You need a companion. A good looking younger man who will be loving and devoted to you." She looks around and spies the cat- points her wand and poof, he is changed to a Richard Gere in his early 30's look alike.
"That should do. Well- enjoy life, cindy. I am off!" As quickly as she arrived, the fairy is gone.
The young man comes over to Cindy and gently pulls her from the chair. She is mesmerized by his charm, feline poise and good looks. He takes her in his arms, kisses her deeply, looks into her eyes and says,
"I bet now you wish you had not had me neutered."