Everyone ready for FEMA’s Emergency Alert Wednesday

bambino's Avatar
Have your cell phone on by 2:20 eastern standard time


https://www.fema.gov/press-release/2...est-oct-4-2023
Thanks for the update I heard something about this happening but didn't pay it much attention.
bambino's Avatar
So, here we are, 10/4/2023
HDGristle's Avatar
Hope nobody has any graphene oxide nanoparticles in their body when the tone goes off.
bambino's Avatar
Hope nobody has any graphene oxide nanoparticles in their body when the tone goes off. Originally Posted by HDGristle
If you’re attacked by a zombie Mr Gristle, go for the head.
HDGristle's Avatar
Way more options than just the head. Keep yours on a swivel.

If we don't hear from you at 2:01pm, we'll know you've been turned by the tone and are no longer in control
bambino's Avatar
Well, I’m at the Gab n Eat savoring a sweet sausage, egg and cheese sandwich on Italian toast. Maybe the finest in the country. I’ll be well prepared. But hey, I didn’t take the vax. I’m good to go.
Make sure everyone turns off their hooker phone, because it'll make a sound. Keep it off until you are alone and away from anyone who might be curious why you have a hooker phone.


The last thing we need is some moron blaming the government for outing their hobbies with their wife due to a test of the emergency alert system. That'll surely spawn 5-6 threads on ECCIE about how the government uses their 5g microchips to monitor mongers like us.



HDGristle's Avatar
Well, I’m at the Gab n Eat savoring a sweet sausage, egg and cheese sandwich on Italian toast. Maybe the finest in the country. I’ll be well prepared. But hey, I didn’t take the vax. I’m good to go. Originally Posted by bambino
Wasn't in that vax. They have at least 15 delivery systems.
bambino's Avatar
Wasn't in that vax. They have at least 15 delivery systems. Originally Posted by HDGristle
The test will start at 2:20pm. As mandated by law. But thanks for playing along Mr Gristle
flows-with-water's Avatar
Got my tin foil hat. Just in case
HDGristle's Avatar
Got my tin foil hat. Just in case Originally Posted by flows-with-water
Good on you.
bambino's Avatar
As soon as the buzzing hit me, I saw thousands of spotted lanternflies all turn gay, right in front of my eyes, while several people who were out shopping fell down while their private parts switched chromosomes. A real shame that the government is mandating our genders now!


Thankfully I covered my entire body in EMF blocking paint, so I was fine.


Stay frosty, laddies
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