Can you read the words coming out my Mouth?

Whatever I say on this here place you can bet the house on. Man have you ever had some Southern fried chicken and mustard greens , with some black eyed peas and some cornbread. It’s the muthafuckin truth, guaranteed to have your ass catnapping for 2 hours in the middle of the day then getting up and whooping your kinfolk ass in a hand of spades. I prepare my posts and words like my Grannie used to prepare those Mustard Greens, so what I say man you better know it’s Da Gospel. Don’t follow my directions at your peril. If I give it the Green thumb it’s the green thumb. If I thumb down anything you better pack your bags and leave too!