Not a lady, but I think most will sum it up as, "not too slow, not too fast, take it easy, make it last." Or something like that. But WALDT, and so do they.
For me...very gentle, almost teasing licks and sucks. Don't just focus on my clit though. Use your fingers, lips and tongue to gently caress my lips. Works every time!
Oh yea, I have known a lady or two who LOVE to have it bitten much harder than I would ever suspect. But I am a willing, humble servant. It is such a joy to have a woman 'O' from oral manipulations that I will do whatever they say to achieve the objective. Practice, practice, practice.... And listen !