At Deer Camp

No one wanted to share a tent with Randy, because he snored so badly. They decided the fair thing would be to take turns.

The first guy who slept in Randy's tent came to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. When asked, "Man, what happened to you?" He replied, "Randy's snoring was so loud I just sat up and watched him all night."

The same thing happened to the guy who drew Randy's tent the next night. He said, "Man, that Randy shakes the roof with his snoring. I couldn't do anything but watch him all night."

The guy in Randy's tent on the third night came to breakfast bright-eyed. "Good morning!" he said. The other guys couldn't believe it. "Man, what happened?"

"Well, we got ready for bed. I tucked Randy into bed, patted him on the butt, and kissed him good night. Randy sat up all night watching me."

Reminds me of a similar story some comedian used to tell...

Used to be when I was out too late- I did my best to sneak in. I would turn the car off and coast into the driveway. I took my shoes off outside and tiptoed into the house. I would go into the downstairs bathroom to get undressed and go upstairs as quietly as I could. then I would slide into bed making as little noise or motion as I could. Invariably she would turn over and start screaming "Where the hell have you been? Do you have any idea what time it is? You are not going to treat me this way... and on and on. But guys let me tell you- there is a better way.

Gun the motor in the driveway. if you have a garage door, be sure you close it firmly. Go into the house like it was high noon. You might even whistle a tune on your way upstairs. Plop you shoes on the bedroom floor and go brush your teeth. Go over to the bed, pull back the covers and say " how bout it honey? I'm in the mood!"

She will pretend to be asleep every time.

...Gun the motor in the driveway. if you have a garage door, be sure you close it firmly. Go into the house like it was high noon. You might even whistle a tune on your way upstairs. Plop you shoes on the bedroom floor and go brush your teeth. Go over to the bed, pull back the covers and say " how bout it honey? I'm in the mood!"

She will pretend to be asleep every time. Originally Posted by Howl at the Moon

Reminds me of a guy-friend of mine whose wife was always using the 'I have a headache' excuse.

He started keeping an array of pain relievers on the nightstand next to her side of the bed. Lol