A Farewell from Herman Cain

Dear Friend,

And when I say “friend,” I mean it in the normal way, not “someone I’ve been sleeping with for 13 years.” Unless, of course, I have been sleeping with you for 13 years. In that case, I do mean it that way.

It is with a heavy heart that I have decided to end my inspirational quest for the White House. After much reassessing and reconsidering, I have decided to spend more time being screamed at by my wife. And by “more time,” I mean 24 hours a day, stopping only for bathroom breaks.

But before I go, let me share with you my final thoughts on my campaign. After months of crisscrossing this great land of ours and participating in over three hundred televised debates, I am being disqualified because of an extramarital affair. And that raises the following question: are you fucking kidding me?

I mean, let’s get real. I never heard of Libya. I didn’t know whether that CNN dude’s name was Wolf or Blitz. And my only training for running the #1 nation in the world was running its #8 pizza chain. Yet none of that, I repeat, none of that disqualified me. In fact, I was the front-fucking-runner, as long as I kept my 9-9-9 in my pants. (I have no idea what I meant by that — I just like saying 9-9-9.)

But here’s the part that really kills me. You’re kicking me to the curb because I was messing around, and instead you’re going with… Newt Gingrich? I repeat: are you fucking kidding me? Oh, I know what you’re saying: you love Newt because he’s an “intellectual.” Well, Newt Gingrich is the intellectual of the Republican field the way Moe was the intellectual of the Stooges.

And that leads me to my final point: you disgust me, America. Right now if I had my way, I’d up and move to another country. I really, truly would. Only I don’t know where any of them are, and my wife won’t let me leave the house.

Goodbye forever,
Herman

http://www.borowitzreport.com/

Everyone lies a little in politics.

But Herman Cain was a malicious, devious, stupid liar.

In earlier posts I when he came on the scene I said there was something sinister about him.

He was just a colossal, egomaniacal, ass-grabbing A-hole.

Everyone lies a little in politics.

But Herman Cain was a malicious, devious, stupid liar.

In earlier posts I when he came on the scene I said there was something sinister about him.

He was just a colossal, egomaniacal, ass-grabbing A-hole. Originally Posted by theaustinescorts

Him and Newt both. Should be a fun year watching the rest of the ass-clowns getting picked off one by one.

If there's anyone Cain's equal in stupidity, diabolicalness, and malice regarding deception it might be Newt.

Newt's a very, very sick puppy.

There's something very wrong with Georgia. This is the state that through out Vietnam-vet triple amputee Senator Max Cleland because his rival Saxby Chambliss said he wasn't patriotic enough.

All I can say it this...if Cain, Newt, and Perry have all been considered "front-runners' for candidacy, the GOP has certainly set the bar pretty fucking low. Too bad really, given Obama's broken campaign promises I would normally be considering voting Republican this year, but with the candidates running today? NOT A CHANCE IN HELL! Huntsman's the only remotely sane one of the bunch, too sane in fact to get the nomination of the party of !BaTsHiTCrAzYs!

The GOP needs to find an Obama like candidate...

That means find someone that no one knows anything about with absolute no track record...Or at least one that the media will not be able or is not willing to put out.. Oh wait that is impossible the majority of the media is liberal...

The GOP needs to find an Obama like candidate...

That means find someone that no one knows anything about with absolute no track record...Or at least one that the media will not be able or is not willing to put out.. Oh wait that is impossible the majority of the media is liberal... Originally Posted by Wyldeman30

...and the winner goes to,

The GOP needs to find an Obama like candidate...

That means find someone that no one knows anything about with absolute no track record...Or at least one that the media will not be able or is not willing to put out.. Oh wait that is impossible the majority of the media is liberal... Originally Posted by Wyldeman30

COMO ESTUPIDO ES ESO?

Liveral or conservativ ... it is loco how so many people on ECCIE are so hatefull of their presidente.

He will win again. But will the locos stop speaking shit?

No.

Que estupidos!

The GOP needs to find an Obama like candidate...

That means find someone that no one knows anything about with absolute no track record...Or at least one that the media will not be able or is not willing to put out.. Oh wait that is impossible the majority of the media is liberal... Originally Posted by Wyldeman30

When Fox and other right-wing media types were faced with knowing "nothing" about Obama, they just started making shit up (birthers) or after complaining of Obama's performance, they complained about Bush being held up as the most recent yardstick to measure Obama against.

But, oh wait.
That is exactly what they did.

I can't believe you still say this shit with a straight face.
Stop whining.

They made shit up???? He is friends with Bill Ayers and his preacher is Jeremiah Wright.

Summary of Obama Administration.

Year One. It is George Bush fault.
Year two. It is George Bush fault.
Year Three. It is still Bush's fault.

Fsharp is that your HS sports pic???

Keep drinking the Kool Aid....

If the McCain campaign had been run the way Atwood ran the Bush Sr. campaign in 1988 the Rev. Wright and Ayers stuff would have been in the forefront as well as Obama's total lack of accomplishing anything in his entire life.

The Republicans gave Obama a pass because they were so disgusted with themselves over the way they'd governed through W. Bush that they were just exhausted, discouraged, etc.

What they didn't count on is that Obama would turn out to be a clone of W. Bush - someone with no personal ideas or convictions about anything who allows the government to run itself into the ground.

He is friends with Bill Ayers and his preacher is Jeremiah Wright. Originally Posted by Wyldeman30

Yeah, I'm the one "drinking the Kool Aid". Why don't you give me one thousand words on the exact nature of these relationships and why the fuck it would matter if he had associated with either of these folks during his lifetime.

I agree with everything Mr. TAE is saying and Mr. Wyldeman30 are saying.

I notice Fox News is always to blame for everything that's gone bad with Obama. Blaming Fox News is getting a little old.
Besides Fox News having the best looking chicks, what about MSNBC being a left-wing liberal news network that treats Obama like a god who can do no wrong.

Everybody knows Herman Cain had no chance of winning. I like the guy, but he wasn't going to win. There will probably not be another black president for another 100 yrs. The Obama is experiment is over. Sure, right now, its very likely he will win re-election, but who knows anything can happen. Like football, on any given Sunday, any team can win.
Personally, from what I was seeing, Cain might have been a better president than Obama. At least, Cain has had jobs and has been in charge of something unlike Obama who never had a real job and has never been in charge of a real business.

For those that keep saying Obama inherited a bad situation, well, there's a flip-side to that. Obama volunteered for the job. He knew what he was getting when he took the job. Key word: Volunteered. He was not forced into the presidency. He promised to fix it. Like the economy. Instead he spent his 1st year 1/2 promoting Obama-care instead working on the economy. First big blunder. And his supporters go around saying, "Obama inherited a lot of problems" or "Obama did not create this problems".. Or "This are bush's problems". Well, there's a flip-side to that. It was these problems from the wars to the economic crisis that got Obama elected. Without this issues, Obama probably wouldn't even had been a candidate.
He took advantage of all these issues and he exploited them to win the White House. It's very like Hillary would have been president if it wasn't for
these problems.

My 2 pennies.

I have a feeling that history will treat the Bush Presidency much more favorably than Obama's term. Time will tell.

Fox News = Right Wing current agenda

MSNBC = Left Wing current agenda

Interwebs= us trying to find actual information with the caveat to Google the author of anything on the Interwebs because 95% of them are either funded and paid for by a right wing/left wing thunk-tank.

All we really get is moderately entertaining reading while we're supposed to be working.