YOUR INPUT PLEASE: References B.S.

I'm hoping for some since & valuable feedback here, because this is starting to get irritating.

What's up with the reference thing? It's almost impossible for an occasional hobbiest to book with someone who screens. I tried to book with Asian Ashely (from Dallas) this week, and she was unbelievably difficult on the "references" front. I gave her 3 names...the only 3 girls I've seen over the past 6 months...and she couldn't reach any of them. Hell, I doubt they'd remember if she had reached them. Next thing, she's asking for my "business card". What? Who the hell gives these women their business name & work phone number? Maybe some of you have that kind of flexibility. But some of us definitely DO NOT. So, can anyone tell me an inside scoop on how to get someone to be a reference for you? Thanks bros

P411

A little more involvement on the board so folks can get to know you wouldn't be a bad idea.

That's the point. I'm not willing to give P411 or anyone else my personal info. So, what do I do now?

+1 for P411. For guys like me who sometimes go for months at a time without hobbying, it's the best way I know to not have to start over every time. And if you can't afford the yearly sub, then you probably shouldn't be playing in this space.

Per your last question (which came right before I posted my response), you do not have to give them your personal info. Just get two providers on there to vouch for you, and you're in. I know there's a way to pay without giving them your credit card, but not sure how it works.

That's the point. I'm not willing to give P411 or anyone else my personal info. So, what do I do now? Originally Posted by RisingKilt

Jack-off??

Per your last question (which came right before I posted my response), you do not have to give them your personal info. Just get two providers on there to vouch for you, and you're in. I know there's a way to pay without giving them your credit card, but not sure how it works. Originally Posted by WorknMan

They take MO's or you can send them a card with $$$

Okay, that's valuable info. Thanks WorknMan

That's the point. I'm not willing to give P411 or anyone else my personal info. So, what do I do now? Originally Posted by RisingKilt

It's the most widely recognized reference in the US, run by a former US provider. The only reason I use it is because it is a Canadian company, legal there. The servers are in Canada and immune to US subpoenas. Now, they say that you have to reveal the info only once, and once verified, they shred all references to your RL information. When I joined, they ran a 6 month free special. Don't know about now.

Opens a lot of doors.

P411 is also indispensable to those of us who hobby while traveling. As has been stated before, you can get an account there without sharing your real life details.

Jack-off?? Originally Posted by governmentguru

Exactly what I was going to say..

Seriously, though, like others have said, P411 is invaluable when you're just starting or have few references. This is what got me my first appt. and my sessions after that I've gone through P411.. Since they're in Canada less likely to have any LE BS.

That's the point. I'm not willing to give P411 or anyone else my personal info. So, what do I do now? Originally Posted by RisingKilt

Use your hand.......both if U prefer doubles at no extra $.

To the OP: All of the above notwithstanding, your concern is duly noted. The hobby has never been without risks. Certainly the whole reference game is a way to mitigate that risk seemingly at the expense of the hobbyist's privacy.

Let's look at this another way, though. Consider for a moment that you might be looking at an AD for a premier escort who does NO screening. Would you really want to see her? Probably not, because chances are she would have something up her sleeve other than the desire to provide you with a memorable evening. A lady who screens is actually protecting both you AND her.

Your question, then, becomes one of how to balance the risk of losing your privacy against the risk of of her opening the door to a threat that can cause her great harm.

P411 is one way to do this, but it's not the only way. Many gentlemen create their own circles of trust by first seeing someone they know, or perhaps someone they met in a chat room somewhere and got to know over a long period of time. They key, you see, is TRUST.

Let's look at this another way, though. Consider for a moment that you might be looking at an AD for a premier escort who does NO screening. Would you really want to see her? Probably not, because chances are she would have something up her sleeve other than the desire to provide you with a memorable evening. Originally Posted by JDNorthface

What is basis for this opinion? I see it a lot, and I'm curious why you feel that way.

Early on, I was paranoid. Scheduled all my sessions via pay phone. I had great experiences with "providers" who didn't screen* me. I also had great experiences with "providers" who posted they screened, but didn't (at least they didn't screen me).

Not once was I the victim of a "provider" with something up her sleeve other than the desire to provide a memorable evening.

*I had a few experiences where it was obvious I was being screened once I got to the incall. They didn't ask for ID, but it was clear I was being checked out.