LMAO... IN DESPERATE MEASURE WHAT HAVE U DONE OR USED??? LMAO..

Secret Encounters
01-03-2012, 12:16 AM

OK OK I'M A PERV

I LIKE PORN, MASTURBATING N SEX WITH NO STRINGS .. BUT ANYWHO ..

WHATS THE CRAZIEST THING U HAVE USED, RIGGED OR DONE IN ORDER TO MASTERBATE?? LOL .. DONT BE SHY, PLEASE DONT BC IM ABOUT TO SHARE A STORY I VOWED NEVER TO TELL AGAIN BUT I TOLD LEVI TAB TODAY N WE HAD A GREAT BIG LAUGH OVER IT .. LOL..
SO HERE IS ONE THING MY FRNDS WONT LET ME LIVE DWN..

OK SO HERE IT GOES.. AFTER SEEING A FEW "FRIENDS" & NOT BEING ABLE TO CUM I WAS LIKE DAMN I NEED TO GET THE JOB DONE BC IM SO DAMN HORNY!! SO I GO TO MY TREASURE CHEST GRABBED PORN, N BULLET.. I PUT ON MY DVD N IM LIKE OK NOW I NEED MY BULLET .. SO I TURN IT ON AND NOTHN, NO BZZ OR BZZZ BZZZ OR BZZZZZZ!! JUST PURE SILENCE N SOUNDS OF MY WET KITTY.. IM LIKE WTF?? I GET UP PAUSE THE DVD.. N IM TRYING TO SEE WHY MY GADGET (TOY) IS NOT WRKN. SMH NOW WITH TOTAL FRUSTRATION. I OPEN THE BACK OF IT AND IM THINKING ITS THE BATTERIES SO I CHANGE IT BUT THEN NOTICE THAT THE METAL WASNT THERE... IM LIKE R U EFFIN KIDDING ME. SO I CLEAN UP MY WETNESS N GO TO WASH MY HANDS N NOTICE A CLIP THAT U PUT IN UR HAIR & IT OPENS N SNAPS CLOSE, THEN I START THINKING .. HMMM WHAT IF I CUT THE CLIP TO FITbC ITS METAL .. .. LOL SO I DID I VIGOROUSLY PUT MY BATTERIES BACK IN AND TO MY SURPRISE IT FREAKN WORKED.. LMAO.. I LAUGHED SO HARD BC I REALIZE I WAS DETERMINE & DESPERATE N COULDNT BELIEVE ALL THAT TROUBLE I WENT THROUGH..

WELL THE NXT DAY I WENT TO MEGAPLEXXX N GOT A NEW BULLET ..NO MORE RIGGING ..HAHA!!OK SO WHT UR STORY ..LOL

EMBARESSED NOW BUT OHH WELL ..

SWEET LEXXXI DD'S

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Secret Encounters
01-03-2012, 12:20 AM

HAVE U EVER USED VEGGIES OR FRUITS .. OR TELL ME ABOUT A FUNNY/ CRAZY EXPERIENCE ..LOL..

S.L DD'S

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got2bfun
01-03-2012, 12:23 AM

Wow! Desperate times call for desperate measures lol.

Hmm not too sure if I have ever used anything crazy or weird to masturbate other than a pocket pussy. I can never go wrong with ol suzzy palm and her five sisters though

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Secret Encounters
01-03-2012, 12:35 AM

Lol yes .. :: puttn my head dwn :: hehe but I didn't use it bc I couldn't stop laughn n called my bff n she told a few ppl n my phne was blowing up.. lol my MOM. called laughn she couldn't even speak.. lol wHOREibble huh..lol

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Likinikki
01-03-2012, 12:41 AM

Damn girl, I'm gonna start calling you Macgyver! I've used an electric toothbrush! (lol)

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levi tab
01-03-2012, 12:48 AM

Damn girl, I'm gonna start calling you Macgyver! I've used an electric toothbrush! (lol) Originally Posted by Likinikki

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Secret Encounters
01-03-2012, 12:51 AM

Lmao .. that's cool.. lmao.. L.n u shoulda sen his face today ^^^ ( levi)

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Secret Encounters
01-03-2012, 12:53 AM

Porn $19.99
Metal clip 12 PK $2.99
FIXING BROKEN BULLET :: PRICELE$$

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Likinikki
01-03-2012, 12:58 AM

Haha...now, that's what I call ingenuity! Now, I know who to call when I have bzzzzzz troubles!

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Secret Encounters
01-03-2012, 01:00 AM

Do not fear the reaper ..lol I am near .. lol I will revive u lil fella bzz bzz bZzzzzzzzz!!

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SofaKingFun
01-03-2012, 04:54 AM

MacGuyver. TFF!

I wouldn't necessarily call this "desperation" or anything but, a long-long time ago - as in last year- this 'friend of mine' (lol) told me this story...

This, 'friend of mine' is always on-the-go. He's on his feet all day and as a result he's found that it's just more comfortable to wear thick, fluffy, wool socks. It's gotten to the point where I, err., 'he', hates the thin, POS socks so much so, that he's purged his wardrobe of them.

(okay, I'm just going to tell this story from the first-person...uhh...because it's easier that way...just remember that this is "my friend" and definitely NOT me..lol)

Anyway, last year, he and this girl he was seeing at the time, happened to be at The Old Navy store for some odd-ball reason; she needed to get something for herself or for one of her friends, or something along those lines, but we were in the ladies area, and I happened to notice, (remember, this is not me; it's, my friend..

), a table just stacked with the most incredibly soft, thick, fluffy socks you could possibly imagine. I took one look and zoned everything else out. So much so, that I actually left her hanging mid-sentence and made a bee-line over to that table. When I picked a pair of them up, and felt them, it was breath taking.

(Heh!) She said later that I was just "beaming in delight". and I was! It was as if the angels had woven an entire table full of fluff and awesomeness and sent them down from the heavens for me to behold in the form of all things, socks.

I don't know how long I was at that table but it had to be quite a while..-- because she's a woman, we were shopping, and she was finished. So you tell me--...suffice it to say that she had already finished grabbing whatever it was that she needed to get and was mumbling something about how rude it is to walk away from someone when they were talking to you, or something like that....I don't remember and at the time, it didn't matter...all I know is that I had an entire arm full of socks in a head-lock under my arm and was ready to head to the check-out with cargo in tow.

That's when the buzz-busting started in earnest...

"What are you doing? Those are girls socks. What in the heck are you going to do with all of those?", and on and on and on..

"Feel 'em", I said, handing her a pair. "They're heaven for your feets!"

And of course, she agreed...but, she was right, they were girls socks so I only bought a couple of pair-one of those being for her.

On the way out of the store, walking to the car, she started in again...(heh!)
"I can't believe that you were actually going to buy all of those girls socks". she said.

"What? Socks can be gender neutral. Besides, aren't they like the most fluffiest socks ever made in like the history of ever?", I asked.

"Well, yeah...but .." she began to say,

"No. No buts", interrupting her mid-sentence. ".. that's why I bought them; 'cuz they're fluffy and I'll bet, comfortable.", I responded, smiling.

A few moments of silence pass by and she suddenly has this moment of clarity and this all-knowing look on her face...(priceless!). "You fucker!", she said accusatorially as she started laughing.. I couldn't help but burst out with laughter also as she was calling me out..knowing that she figured it out...."OMG! You bought 'jerk-socks' didn't you pervert?"

"What? Jerk socks? lol...No! Geez, I just bought a pair of fucking socks. lol. Damn, what do you thinck I am...get your mind out of the gutter. Wow! Jerk socks..you're reaching now....Pffft!", I said with a grin. "I thinck you owe me an apology..." as I continued piling-on the guilt..

Long-short, Yup! She 'handed me' with one of those socks later that evening...and it was awesome!

(Heh!) needless to say...since he and she had this long-distance relationship or whatever going-on, my friend told me that he absolutely violated that poor ol' pair of socks.

The lesson to be learned here is simply this. There's no such thing as a clothes dryer monster who eats your socks. That's all bullshit. The truth is...if ever you find that after doing your laundry, one of your socks is missing, especially if it's one of the fluffy-variety of socks,...well, you can figure it out...ijs.

TFF!

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