Types of Post Responses

I posted a shorter version of this in another thread. I’ve expanded it a bit and decided to give it a thread of its own. BTW I’m painfully aware that I’m egotistical, self-centered, conceited, egocentric, narcissistic, pompous, puffed up, self-absorbed, self-important, self-involved, self-seeking, self-serving, selfish, smug, stuck-up, and vain. I have many other faults as well, but please restrict your comments here to types of responses to posts, and start another thread if you want to badmouth me.

• Response Type Number 1:“The provider in question is the Mother Teresa of providers, and would never have demonstrated the behavior the OP alleges, and the OP is a no-account-lowlife for even suggesting that she did.”
• Response Type Number 2:“The OP's reaction to her behavior is not what my reaction to her behavior would have been, therefore the OP's reaction to her behavior is totally wrong. You should have done what I would have done and not wasted the board’s time with this crap.”
• Response Type Number 3: “The OP's dedicated effort to see a well reviewed provider is not really dedicated effort, but in fact stalking and harassing, and he should be banned from the board, and quite possibly arrested and incarcerated, and perhaps even castrated.”
• Response Type Number 4: “I know this provider better than anyone else knows this provider; I was there when the OP alleges to have contacted her, and I have an ad nauseam-length response, complete with pictures, to prove the OP's account is fiction.”
• Response Type Number 5:Ad nauseam-length rebuttals to ad nauseam-length responses.
• Response Type Number 6: “OMG! The OP posted this in the wrong forum and/or the wrong format! What an idiot! How could we ever believe anything that anyone so stupid would say? Go back and read ALL of the board’s rules at least 10 times, and then send a groveling PM to the board’s owners/moderators (make your apology to me public) asking for forgiveness and promising to do better in the future (but you’ll still be an idiot).”
• Response Type Number 7: “Another OMG! The OP doesn’t have any (or very few) reviews, so how could he possibly have anything meaningful or important to say? You won’t have any credibility until you write at least as many fawning, this-provider-is-the-best-looking-and-the-greatest-fuck-of-all-times reviews as I have. Then the providers will start calling you for dates and possibly be paying you to come see them. That’s what they do for me, but, of course, YMMV.”
• Response Type Number 8: Danni-type, Mensa-intelligence-level provider responses. Fairly tolerant, but easily bored. Tries to spice up mundane threads by posting subtly provocative comments that normally elicit obsequious “me-to” responses to amuse her. Almost always accomplishes her intended purpose.
• Response Type Number 9: After getting drunk, high, pissed, or whatever, I decided to post a totally incoherent, rambling, misspelled, poorly punctuated run-on post that reveals my real ignorance about the subject matter I’m trying to expound on. After coming down, even I don’t understand it, or worse yet, still think I do.
• Response Type Number 10: And then of course there are my responses: impartial, unbiased, witty, succinct, focused, pertinent, awe-inspiring and entertaining. If only more posters were like me…
• Response Type Number 11: “I am in total agreement with what Response Type Number 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 or 10 (or maybe some or all of them) said. I’ve never had an original thought, but I (erroneously) think I know one when I see one.”

Feel free to add any categories I left out. Peace and love - wheretonow

+1 (Response type 12) gratuitous post count? Only slightly less useless than "I'm under Betty Blowjob!!"

I'm all about #11 when it comes to this thread....

Good job Wheretonow!

Good used large green sofa for sale, slight wear, small cigarette burn
on left armrest $60, will help load.

oooh my bad. Thought I was in the BP used furniture section.
Carry on, carry on.

+1 (Response type 12) gratuitous post count? Only slightly less useless than "I'm under Betty Blowjob!!" Originally Posted by mtabsw

Well worth adding...

"I think the OP shouldn't be doing the thing about which he's asking for advice, so, rather than either answer his question or not respond at all, I'm going to detour the thread and tell him why he shouldn't be doing the thing that I think he shouldn't be doing."

"The OP's post/suggestion/question is laughable, and I'm going to make sure that everyone knows just how stupid he is for authoring something so ridiculous."

"I think the OP shouldn't be doing the thing about which he's asking for advice, so, rather than either answer his question or not respond at all, I'm going to detour the thread and tell him why he shouldn't be doing the thing that I think he shouldn't be doing."

"The OP's post/suggestion/question is laughable, and I'm going to make sure that everyone knows just how stupid he is for authoring something so ridiculous." Originally Posted by Sir Lancehernot

Actually, I think that the OP's post is one of the most reasonable I have seen.

In addition, one might want to read the Forum Guidelines concerning hijacking and insulting remarks.

Torito

How about "Deep down I always thought I could have been a writer, and I will now try and fill that regret by verbosely asserting my intellectual superiority. On a whore board."

Actually, I think that the OP's post is one of the most reasonable I have seen.

In addition, one might want to read the Forum Guidelines concerning hijacking and insulting remarks.

Torito Originally Posted by Torito

I guess the quotation marks weren't enough to make it clear that those were suggested additions to the OP's list, not comments about the OP's post. Consider a "How about these?" to be appended, without the quotation marks, to the top of my post.

I guess the quotation marks weren't enough to make it clear that those were suggested additions to the OP's list, not comments about the OP's post. Consider a "How about these?" to be appended, without the quotation marks, to the top of my post. Originally Posted by Sir Lancehernot

My apology to you, sir.

Torito

edit to add: The post had been reported and I looked at it with that thought in mind.

Good used large green sofa for sale, slight wear, small cigarette burn
on left armrest $60, will help load.

oooh my bad. Thought I was in the BP used furniture section.
Carry on, carry on. Originally Posted by bojulay

Response Type Number 12: Idiotic totally off-subject responses or inane banter that the poster finds amusing or witty, but the rest of us find annoying and/or tiresome.

"I think the OP shouldn't be doing the thing about which he's asking for advice, so, rather than either answer his question or not respond at all, I'm going to detour the thread and tell him why he shouldn't be doing the thing that I think he shouldn't be doing."

"The OP's post/suggestion/question is laughable, and I'm going to make sure that everyone knows just how stupid he is for authoring something so ridiculous." Originally Posted by Sir Lancehernot

How about "Deep down I always thought I could have been a writer, and I will now try and fill that regret by verbosely asserting my intellectual superiority. On a whore board." Originally Posted by TheBizz

Excellent additions - I need to revise the original list to include them.

The number 7 gets thrown my way from time to time. Oh well, I hope all of those that 7 me have me on their ignore list. Why is the number of reviews somehow equates to actually knowing what one is talking about?

Response Type Number 12: Idiotic totally off-subject responses or inane banter that the poster finds amusing or witty, but the rest of us find annoying and/or tiresome. Originally Posted by Wheretonow

Exactly And/Or

Here's another. Threads that are tiresome from the beginning.
Not yours of course. Objective insight. All those other ones
that are.

Exactly And/Or

Here's another. Threads that are tiresome from the beginning.
Not yours of course. Objective insight. All those other ones
that are. Originally Posted by bojulay

It's great that we have such a diverse group here on ECCIE. Some people start reading something, find it boring, and move on to something more to their interest.

Others start reading something, find it boring, continue reading it, and then post an even more boring response.

It's kind of like eating a rotten egg - some people don't have to eat much of it to know it's rotten, while others learn more slowly.