Sick and twisted!

Ok, I've been sick as a dog for the past 3 friggin weeks and my mind just went sideways today! I was chatting online with a hobbyist and I just started going off on some strange, twisted tangent. It got weird and funny! So, I said I would start a thread, invite some people to add their thoughts and ideas.
I started saying things like 'Hi, my name is Nic. I'm dying. Come get me while I'm still warm!' And the idea of a new ad saying 'Going out of business sale!', the train of thought being I could make enough money to throw one hell of a wake! At the wake, signs would be posted, 'Absolutely FULL menu is available. I'm dead, I won't feel a thing!'
'Someone please have sex on my coffin, so I can take the memory with me!' And, 'Please, just not in my mouth!'
Ok, so now join me on my sick and demented journey to the dark side! I wanna laugh my ass off all the way to the fire and brimstone that awaits me! What other kinds of debauchery can be done at my wake???

Well.. seeing how you are not a golfer, won't lay you to rest with Golf Clubs in your hands; instead we'll have to see you off with a pair of glass dildos, on ein ach hand with your hands crossed over your chest, and a bottle of bubbly slipped in. Oh wait you said on your coffin, not in it... I gotta rethink this now... Ya know a FMF doesn't count if one of you is room temperature.

ohhhhkayyy

hey baby...don't knock the darkside.........it's a really cool place to be! lol

Some dark humor is a good thing! We all gotta go sometime, so why not poke some fun at Death before he comes to the door?!

Nic, sorry to hear you are/have been sick.

"Coffin built for two -- Who says you can't take it with you!"

An elderly man goes to the doctor for his annual checkup.After all the tests and X-rays,the doctor says,"Bill,I have some bad news.You have this condition and you only have six weeks to live." Bill says in disbelief,"How can that be,my weight is down,my cholesterol is down,my blood pressure is down,I just don't understand.Is there anything we can do?" The doctor says,"Have you seen that new Health Spa,just down the street? They give great mudbaths." Bill says,"Hey,great,will that cure me?" The doctor says,"No,but it will help you get familiar with the dirt!!!!!"

Lets keep the darkside going! I'm lovin' it!

I had sex with a dead provider once , but after I paid the cold bitch split on me!

She has to be at least room temperature or I cant keep it up.

LMAO!!!!!!!! You guys are cracking me up! So far, I'm still room temp!

Got to be a joke about being stuffed and mounted in there somewhere , I'm just to tired to think of it.

I just had an AWESOME visual, Brmike1963!