Let's Hear Your Limericks

What is your favorite limerick? I have always liked

There once was a man from Nantucket
With a dick so long he could suck it
He said with a grin
While wiping his chin
If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it.

Outstanding!

There once was a guy named Dave.
who kept a dead whore in a cave.
He said "I'll admit"
"it stinks quite a bit"
"but think of the money I'll save"

Here I sit my cheeks a flexin,
giving birth to another Texan

Not really a good one as I consider myself to be a Texan now. It was on a shithouse wall.

LIMERICKS!

A man and a whore in New Delhi
Spent the whole evening belly to belly
Because, in their haste,
They used library paste
Instead of petroleum jelly

A cosmetic surgeon named Alice
Can double the size of your phallus.
At a thousand an inch,
She is more than a cinch
To own the whole city of Dallas!

There was a lad from Adair
Who laid a maid on the stair
The bannister broke,
so he quickened his stroke,
and finished the job in the air.

On the internet they found romance,
That put both in a hot sexual trance,
But each had a gripe,
About having to type,
With a hand stuck down into their pants.

There once was a man from the boards.
Who sought streetwalkers in hordes.
He went crazy one night.
Cuz his choice was "not" right.
And he ended up in the "Wards".

(ehhh....I know...not that good but what do you expect in 2 minutes? I know...you expect BETTER, eh?)

There was a young man from Boston
Who bought himself a new Austin
ther was room for his ass, and a gallon of gas
but the rest hung out
so he lost 'em

Tim and I a fishing we went
came across three girls in a tent
them being three
I bucked one and Tim bucked two

there was a young man from Kent
Who's dick was so long it was bent
to save time and trouble he stuck it in double
instead of coming he went

There was a young man from Mass
whose balls were made out of glass
They tinkled together and played stormy weather
while lightning shot out of his ass

Not sure if is a limmerick, but here it goes.

To the days of old
When women wern't so paticular
you could line them up against a wall
and fuck them perpendicular