Dogs, Cats & some other stuff

So yesterday, I sold the last three puppies from the last litter, and one little girl asked me if I’d named them yet. Well that got me to thinking.
You see, I’m a doggie person and I’ve owned a lot of dogs of various breeds over the years.
Bouvier de Flanders – Max (best dog I ever had. Only thing he ever did wrong in his entire life was eat a couch in San Francisco and piss on my TV), Mysti (dumb as a rock, but very sweet natured. It’s the only thing at times that saved her) and Duke (a rescue dog that had some issues with men. I have the scars to prove it.)
Cocker Spaniels - Foxy Lady (little red screamer. Once treed the mailman in the front yard. Literally.), Molly (champion red parti-color, who when excited would flip an ear into her mouth and carry it like a Linus blanket), Taylor (male piddler) and Scarlett (cutest little red head you’ve ever seen. My “French Vanilla” dog.)
Miniature Schnauzers – Mindy (who would put her nose on mine and stare at me until I petted her), Molly (who I didn’t have too long. Ex-girlfriend took custody) and Wizard (who I still have and while normally gentle and mild-mannered, is getting a bit grumpy in his old age)
Basset Hound - Bella (who got frisky for about 15 minutes a day. You could tell because she went from slow motion to something approaching normal speed. She spent the rest of her time plotting about where she could lay down and cover the greatest possible floor space where I might come along and trip over her.)
Brussels Griffon – GiGi (another rescue dog of sorts and mother to the last batch of puppies. I can’t explain what she looks like. You’ll have to look it up.)

Now, it’s not that I don’t like cats. I like them just fine, especially if they’re cooked just right with a little lemon-butter sauce and some garlic.

LVIMH (Little Voice Inside My Head): Now you’ve gone and done it!
Me: Whut?!?!
LVIMH: Oh, nothing! Just that you’ve alienated, repulsed and generally pissed off every feline lover out there.
Me: Hey, I was just kidding around.
LVIMH: I know that but they don’t. You remember the Cat Woman in Denver, who…
Me: Let’s not go into that!
LVIMH: You’re gonna go to sleep one night and Neotek is going to sic his ninja kitties on you. They’ll show up in their little ninja outfits, scale your walls and attack! If you don’t bleed to death from a thousand deep scratch wounds, then the head ninja kitty will arch his back and rub it repeatedly under your nose until your throat swells up like you swallowed the Michelin Man and close all your airways shut so you can’t breathe!
Besides, you’re getting off topic…

I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I’ve owned cats before. Unfortunately, I found out years ago I’m extremely allergic to them. This is when I found out that kitty cat people are not like doggie people. Studies have shown that doggie people are friendly, outgoing, and generally happy-go-lucky. Kitty people, on the other hand, are more distant, aloof, and calculating. People who own both dogs and cats are simple confused and don’t know how to act. Those who own neither are, what’s the word for it … oh yeah, sane. You may think I’m making this up, but …

LVIMH: You’re drifting off topic again. What are you doing?
Me: I’m just trying to point out that I’m not anti-cat. I’m simply allergic. When I found out about it, I had a wife, three cats and some of the aforementioned dogs. That’s when the allergist told the little woman that she’d have to get rid of the cats … or me.
LVIMH: And we know how that worked out, don’t we?
Me: I don’t want to talk about it. But let’s just say that’s when I found out cat people are really different. And I also wish to emphatically declare that I hold no grudge or resentment whatsoever against the cats regarding the subsequent divorce.
LVIMH: Are you ever going to get to the point?

Okay, okay. My point is that over all the years that I’ve owned dogs there’s always been one thing I’ve wanted to do, but was never able or allowed (due to either parental or spousal disapproval and/or the whining and threatened shunning by children) to do. I’ve always wanted to name a dog “Dammit”. I think that would be the cat’s meow, so to speak.

Imagine being able to communicate with the animal thusly (to be read aloud in a strong, commanding voice):

“Here, Dammit”
“C’mere, Dammit”
“Quit that, Dammit”
“Don’t do that, Dammit”
“Sit, Dammit”
“Roll over, Dammit”
“Don’t chew on that, Dammit”
“Dammit, quit humping that lady’s leg”
And my favorite: “Damn it, Dammit”

I can just envision hours of amusement from the looks given by other people. (Ladies, please take note: Mister Tudball is very easily amused!)

So that’s it. I’m sure others have great names of pets, both past, present, and future. I’d be most interested to read about them.

When i was in high school my dad took me to the garland SPCA to get a dog. When we got there i went straight for this dog I just knew i wanted him. My parents were like are you sure they said that he had to be the ugliest dog there. But I loved him. So I decided to name him Rags because that is what he looks like alot of oily rags put together. His nickname the family calls him his trash. I also have a cat named Tobey after Tobey Keith,favorite singer. And a bearded dragon named Puff after Puff the magic dragon.

LVIMH (Little Voice Inside My Head): Now you’ve gone and done it!
Me: Whut?!?!
LVIMH: Oh, nothing! Just that you’ve alienated, repulsed and generally pissed off every feline lover out there.
Me: Hey, I was just kidding around.
LVIMH: I know that but they don’t. You remember the Cat Woman in Denver, who…
Me: Let’s not go into that!
LVIMH: You’re gonna go to sleep one night and Neotek is going to sic his ninja kitties on you. They’ll show up in their little ninja outfits, scale your walls and attack! If you don’t bleed to death from a thousand deep scratch wounds, then the head ninja kitty will arch his back and rub it repeatedly under your nose until your throat swells up like you swallowed the Michelin Man and close all your airways shut so you can’t breathe!
Besides, you’re getting off topic… Originally Posted by Mister Tudball

Pray tell, Mister Tudball, where did you get the idea for such a clever rhetorical device from?

Nevermind the ninja kitties, you better hope the Siamese Purr Monster doesn't get a taste for Tudball flesh, muwhahahaha!

I've named all my pets after historical figures, Patton was my border collie, my one foray into dogie worship. In retrospect I kinda wish I hadn't sullied General Patton's name by using it on such a sweet, good natured, and VERY stupid dog. I should have named him after Jimmy Carter.

I raised Siamese cats most my life, two of Patton's buddies were Catherine (as in Catherine the Great) and Chester (as in Chester W. Nimitz) who seemed to enjoy watching Patton chase parked cars.

The best dog that ever lived and my best friend, her name was Cheyenne. Cheyenne was a Christmas puppy given to me many years ago. The holidays were always a special time because of the big brown dog. She is gone now, I lost my best friend in June 2009. For all the true animal loves out there, check out www.critters.com, it's a memorial page for our friends that have crossed rainbow bridge. Cheyenne was a border collie, very smart, very loyal and just an incredible dog. The problem with dogs is they do not live long enough. A good dog lies forever in the heart of its master.

I've had so many pets over the years. Dogs, cats and fish. I'm partial to big dogs, Akitas are my favorite. I had Ziggy for three years before I had to let him go. He was wonderful and brave and protected my little family.

Until I can have another Akita, I have cats. I think they name themselves. Hell, if they had opposable thumbs they wouldn't need us for anything. Mozart was a creme point burman that thought the kids and I were poor, stupid kittens and stuck by us. Emily would tear through the house while I was mating socks and steal one on the fly. In three years, I never found a single one of those socks. Now I have India. She was a shelter rescue like all the others. She doesn't really like me but she knows who buys the food. I'm safe until she learns how to use a credit card.

I've never named a fish.

Pray tell, Mister Tudball, where did you get the idea for such a clever rhetorical device from? Originally Posted by DFK Hunter

LOL. Well, seems to me I've seen it used somewhere before. A hat tip to you, Captain Little Sailor, and the gang. That said, I really do have a LVIMH.

Nevermind the ninja kitties, you better hope the Siamese Purr Monster doesn't get a taste for Tudball flesh, muwhahahaha! Originally Posted by DFK Hunter

Ah, c'mon. Anyone who's ever been around a Siamese knows the worst they'll do is talk you to the verge of insanity.

I've named all my pets after historical figures, Patton was my border collie, my one foray into dogie worship. In retrospect I kinda wish I hadn't sullied General Patton's name by using it on such a sweet, good natured, and VERY stupid dog. I should have named him after Jimmy Carter. Originally Posted by DFK Hunter

Jimmy Carter? Sweet and good-natured?

The problem with dogs is they do not live long enough. A good dog lies forever in the heart of its master. Originally Posted by bigbobftworth

So true, Big Bob. I've had relatives I miss a lot less than some of my dogs. Anyone who says money can't buy happiness has never bought a puppy.

Now I have India. She was a shelter rescue like all the others. She doesn't really like me but she knows who buys the food. I'm safe until she learns how to use a credit card. Originally Posted by Dharma

LOL. Watch your wallet, Dharma!

Mr Tud , I don't think you were allergic to the cats it was your wife. I've owned dogs and lived with cats, both at the same time and separately. They are both wonderful in totally different ways.

My SO and I have done rescue for years and also involved with different organizations. Every dog we've ever had has come from the streets and could not ask for a better or more loyal, loving friend.

If you haven't found something to put meaning into your life, try helping a rescue group in some capacity. Check out http://www.readlarrypowell.com/ for a start.

I'm off my soapbox now.

HD I could not agree more with you. Both of my dogs are rescue animals. Maggie was in sad shape when I drove to Abilene to rescue this incredible border collie. Maggie had almost no hair, a broken tail, heart worms, was covered with fleas and yet her spirit was strong. You should see my little Maggie dog today, she has learned to trust, is always happy, and probably too fat. Its amazing what a lot of love and probably too many treats will do for a dog.

I also have Charlie, a big border collie that I rescued and adopted after loosing my beloved Cheyenne dog last year. Charlie was also abused and also had heart worms, but you would never know it by spending some time with him now. Charlie is happy and that tail never quits wagging.

Amercians have a special relationship with their dogs and cats and other animals. Just look at some of the pictures from Iraq and Afghanistan and is many pics you will see where a poor starving and mistreated animal has found a new home with our troops. '

All dogs go to heaven, but you cant say that about all people.

The last two dogs and the last two cats I've had were rescued. It's just a great feeling knowing you have helped extend their life. I was on a bicycle ride years ago during a really hot summer here. Out in the middle of "no where " ,50 mls from town, 100+ F ,I stopped and gave an emaciated puppy some of my water and rode off. The puppy chased for a little bit and gave up. A week later I'm back out there on my bike ,the puppy is still there, sees me and starts giving chase. Yelping and crying the whole time. She wouldn't give up this time so I stopped , picked her up and carried her back to town. That was the best damn dog I ever had. I swear she under stood almost anything I said. Miss that girl. Her name was Freida Bean.

I have two Boxers. This was the Halloween theme this year. Took an hour to get them to sit there.

Last friday fate told me to drive instead of ride the motorcycle, I found a young blk lab laying in the medium, had been hit, broken tooth, skinned lip, limping on left front foot. Scared and wouldn't walk so picked him up to put him in back seat.
He is now less a front tooth and his manhood, and should be healthy in short time and ready for someone looking for a lifelong friend. I'll sit with him at adoptions until he finds his place.
Can never pass by an animal in need.

Freida was lucky she wasn't coyote dinner, think maybe fate was involved?

Nitwit, I've done Xmas postcards and usually took and hour or more and a few days plus 3 or 4 rolls of film to get one shot. My 6 large dogs were an extreme challange. I know boxers can be very hyper at times, especially when you want them calm! Good pic.