Sometimes the cop check doesn't work...

bluffcityguy's Avatar
At about 10 PM, the cop (surname: Smith) spotted a “white female wearing denim pants and a green spaghetti strap shirt” walking the street. The woman subsequently got into the detective’s car and told him to head north. When the detective asked how much it would cost for oral sex, the woman was noncommittal.

After driving out of the parking lot of a 7-Eleven, the woman, Smith reported, “asked me to expose my penis.” Smith--packing one real and one phony phallus--asked if he could first put on a condom.

“I then exposed a flaccid rubber replica of a penis and placed a condom on it,” wrote Smith. “She immediately leaned over and put it into her mouth.”

At this point, amazingly, Smith spotted an opossum crossing the road and slammed on the brakes, “causing the female to slide out of her seat and mildly into the dashboard.” The report does not make clear whether she still had Smith’s sheathed fake penis in her mouth at the time.

The undercover then “drove to Easter Seals,” where he again asked for an oral sex quote. “Twenty for head,” the woman replied. Smith gave a take down signal to fellow members of the Special Investigations Division Tactical Unit, who arrived and arrested Christina Vavra, 31, for prostitution.
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documen...r-penis-765432

Cheers,

bcg
Fastcars1966's Avatar
Wow that must be one hell of a fake.
bluffcityguy's Avatar
Wow that must be one hell of a fake. Originally Posted by Fastcars1966
Based on my own experience laboring in the criminal justice vineyards, I'm pretty sure we can nail it down to one of the following possibilities:

1) It is, indeed, one hell of a fake,
2) It is less than "one hell of a fake", but the young lady's "judgement" was impaired through means that aren't allowed to be discussed here (in this regard the alleged opossum sighting and subsequent sudden stop might have been a means to distract her from the obviously fake nature of the "lollipop" she was sampling; indeed, one may question if an opossum was even at the scene at all), or
3) What was in the lady's mouth wasn't at all fake, and the story as told by officer "Smith" bears a somewhat tenuous relation to the facts as they actually happened (i.e., he enjoyed a blowjob before busting her, a practice my own streetwalker clients accused the Metro St. Louis PD vice squad of employing on many occasions*).

Offhand, I'd say that #1 is the least likely of the scenarios.

Cheers,

bcg

* My clients went as far as to accuse several of the vice squad (by name) of having "business relationships" with them going back several weeks or longer before finally being busted. Unfortunately, it being a "he said"/"she said" kind of thing, we weren't able to follow up on those allegations sufficiently to litigate the point. Much to my disappointment; it might have been fun to cross examine a few of those cops. Particularly the married ones.
Fastcars1966's Avatar
A man of great wisdom, based on your well thought out scenarios and experiences, I would have to say you are most likely correct in your assessment.
Can't see the forest for the trees LOL.
Thankfully I have friends like you to help me
Missy Mariposa's Avatar
Probably the Whizzinator. People use them all the time to pass drug tests. They've been in the news a few times when people get caught with them.

http://www.ureasample.com/buy-drug-test-solutions/store/catalog/whizzinator_alternative_colors .JPG

With a condom on it, I could see how you wouldn't be able to tell.
willro's Avatar
Based on my own experience laboring in the criminal justice vineyards, I'm pretty sure we can nail it down to one of the following possibilities:

1) It is, indeed, one hell of a fake,
2) It is less than "one hell of a fake", but the young lady's "judgement" was impaired through means that aren't allowed to be discussed here (in this regard the alleged opossum sighting and subsequent sudden stop might have been a means to distract her from the obviously fake nature of the "lollipop" she was sampling; indeed, one may question if an opossum was even at the scene at all), or
3) What was in the lady's mouth wasn't at all fake, and the story as told by officer "Smith" bears a somewhat tenuous relation to the facts as they actually happened (i.e., he enjoyed a blowjob before busting her, a practice my own streetwalker clients accused the Metro St. Louis PD vice squad of employing on many occasions*).

Offhand, I'd say that #1 is the least likely of the scenarios.

Cheers,

bcg

* My clients went as far as to accuse several of the vice squad (by name) of having "business relationships" with them going back several weeks or longer before finally being busted. Unfortunately, it being a "he said"/"she said" kind of thing, we weren't able to follow up on those allegations sufficiently to litigate the point. Much to my disappointment; it might have been fun to cross examine a few of those cops. Particularly the married ones. Originally Posted by bluffcityguy
I knew of a cop that had such a good "business relationship" that the lady in question had his child.... oops. However, he (and several others) were not total shitbags. They didn't arrest her when they practiced their "business" with her, or when she practiced with other gentleman of the area. But, it was a scandle that almost cost a cop his job when that baby was DNA tested.
bluffcityguy's Avatar
I knew of a cop that had such a good "business relationship" that the lady in question had his child.... oops. However, he (and several others) were not total shitbags. They didn't arrest her when they practiced their "business" with her, or when she practiced with other gentleman of the area. But, it was a scandle that almost cost a cop his job when that baby was DNA tested. Originally Posted by willro
That might not have necessarily been a business relationship (some chicks get hot for a guy in uniform; cops, fire fighters and some military often turn down more primo pussy than you or I dream of--and I don't know about you, but I dream of a lot of pussy ). Or if it was, the business might have been the cop's, not hers.

Uniformed cops on neighborhood beats, and detectives not assigned to a special unit (e.g., homicide, burglary) might well cultivate relationships with "known criminals" in their operating areas (not necessarily prostitutes, though prostitutes are often good for this kind of thing) to serve as informers. These are basically low level, minor criminals (known drug users, petty thieves, prostitutes) who "get around" and know a lot about what's happening in the area. In return for practical immunity from prosecution (i.e., the cop will usually overlook the informer's more minor offenses, or if the cop is placed in a situation where s/he has to arrest the informer, often a good word placed with the prosecutor will result in dismissal of the charges without trial) the informer can be a valuable source of intelligence on more serious crime in the neighborhood (burglaries, robberies, assaults, etc.).

But yeah, in a situation like that it never looks good for a cop to be interbreeding with the local criminal subclasses. "Caesar's wife" and all that.

Cheers,

bcg
bluffcityguy's Avatar
Probably the Whizzinator. People use them all the time to pass drug tests. They've been in the news a few times when people get caught with them.

http://www.ureasample.com/buy-drug-test-solutions/store/catalog/whizzinator_alternative_colors .JPG
Originally Posted by Missy Mariposa
I shall defer to your superior knowledge in this area.

That would qualify as "one hell of a fake", I think. (They certainly do nail down the visuals, don't they?)

With a condom on it, I could see how you wouldn't be able to tell. Originally Posted by Missy Mariposa
Offhand, "mouth feel" might be an issue (and that, again, suggests that the "opossum sighting" may have been a ruse to distract the young lady getting familiar enough with the fake to realize that something isn't quite right about this "dick" she has in her mouth...).

Cheers,

bcg