Have you ever been the sole caretaker of a baby? As in 100% alone for several hours a day, multiple days in a row. I was a nanny and it IS fucking EXHAUSTING. The last thing I wanted at the end of the day was to have sex, and I wasn't even the mom! Yes you give her nice things, but she has a squalling pooping spitting up baby to deal with and while work may not be much of an escape it's more than she has. So cut her slack in the tired department, especially if she's nursing. 7 months or not, it's still tiring.
I won't comment on the 5 times - I'm a believer in the fact that she has the right to that choice (withholding) but you also have the right to your choice to screw someone else as you are a human being with one life, wants, needs, and desires that you have a right to fulfill - ring or no ring.
The bitching department? That's what AMPs and SCs are for as you've already discovered. You might want to remind her the things you said here - you do a lot for her and she doesn't seem to appreciate it. I'd also remind her you were a self sufficient adult before you even uttered her name and you can take care of yourself.
I'd also consider a counselor before the love fades and you end up in a marriage with someone you can't stand because you don't want to lose everything.
Originally Posted by Missy Mariposa
MM, for once I agree mostly with you. I was the primary caretaker of a newborn, and it is really no fun. If she's got a housekeeper, she's ahead of the game.
If she doesn't feel like sex anymore, then you have to honor that. But just because she says "no" doesn't mean you have to go dry. After the first babe was born, my SO only wanted sex to have another. I grudgingly agreed, but she never got pregnant. When we stopped, I cut her off from sex completely. I decided my sexual advances had been spurned for the fuckin' last time. We haven't had sex in over a decade, and I wouldn't anticipate that we will have it ever again.
But, like MM implies, for your family's sake, you gotta take care of yourself.
A lot of couples have successfully set aside a "date" night. Sex is a part of the night. Or the whole thing. The babysitter comes in early, maybe a Saturday afternoon. You & the wife get showered and dressed up and go out to a local hotel. Have your fun and games. Then go to dinner, and maybe a play or a movie. Make it regular like clockwork. Nothing interferes on the calendar with this. This is you and the wife time. Is it expensive? Yes, but worth it.
As a guy, you'll always want your sexual appetite satisfied. As a mother, she'll always feel a pull to her mothering instincts that have taken over her life. Both of you have to compromise.
But in the end, if she isn't willing, you gotta take care of yourself.