Dates

For those single hobbyists and providers. How does being in the hobby change your outlook on dating?

My personal experience tonight had me wanting to get out as quickly as possible and she seemed interested in me and a sweet girl but not what I'm looking for. The whole time I was thinking, who is available tonight to help me forget this crappy date? lol

Am I an ass?

Nope not at all.

I don't date now that I'm a provider - I want for nothing in my sex life

I've had a couple of ladies here that I see often ask me why I didn't have a SO and I tell them the same thing. I don't need it. Between work and friends I just don't have time for all the extra drama that goes with relationships. Don't get me wrong, it's nice to have someone next to u when u go to sleep at nite and when u wake up. But for me, the hobby has let me make some fantastic friends w/benefits that I cherish. I get fantastic sex with ladies that I'm close with but none of the probs. It's perfect! Just my $.02

While the hobby does and can create the illusion of passion, that illusion is even better when you've seen the same providers multiple times, especially when you know them well. BUT it is just that. If you're married, those lines are pretty clear. If you're single, those lines could get somewhat blurry.

...My personal experience tonight had me wanting to get out as quickly as possible... The whole time I was thinking, who is available tonight to help me forget this crappy date? lol

Am I an ass? Originally Posted by jim1995

Oh, Jim. I totally identify. I guess we're both asses.

For me, being in the hobby allows me to have a very interesting and diverse sex life. Lack of good sex is never a problem… Lack of companionship is. So I go through spells where I date... but I'm consistently disappointed, it seems.

I am typically a very open, honest and upfront person… Therefore I do not lie to suitors about what I do for a living. Outside of the hobby world, people are generally very close minded with respect to the hobby, and that presents a problem. It's difficult to get a civilian with good intentions to take me seriously!

I've also found that since my involvement in the hobby, I have become a lot more assertive, and a lot less tolerant of bullshit. Things like inconsistency and flakiness that seem to run amok in the dating world –– I simply do not have the time nor the patience to deal with. My girlfriends sometimes tell me that I don't give people a chance, because I'm very quick to cut someone off if I see any negative signs. But time is money, and if they can't act right, they're not getting my time!

I think the chances of stumbling upon a real relationship while I'm active in the hobby are slim... I think that most men's egos are detrimentally affected by the knowledge that I participate in the hobby. For me, serious dating is probably something that would be better pursued after retirement.

I still get laid outside of the hobby but I don't date, when I have it seems like women try and take up all my time to do stupid shit with them that I don't feel like doing, when I don't want to they try to make me feel like I'm an ass hole for it. I live quite a nice life(very unconventional) that I'm not giving that up for anyone. I don't think my outlook has been changed by the hobby.

...I don't date, when I have it seems like women try and take up all my time to do stupid shit with them that I don't feel like doing, when I don't want to they try to make me feel like I'm an ass hole for it... Originally Posted by randomuser

Are you saying that you didn't really want to go to bingo??

Are you saying that you didn't really want to go to bingo?? Originally Posted by Ginger Doll

Of course I wanted to go, I love bingo

Not saying I won't go do stuff I don't want to once in a while. I just don't want to hang out with the same person damn near every day and I sure as hell don't want to do stuff I don't feel like on a regular basis. I get bored with people/things way too fast for that.

Ok i think i am the odd one out here.I met my fiance' thru the hobby and it has been one of the best experieces of my life. We are extremely happy together and there is never a dull moment
It has taken alot of commuication and work and sacrifce though
Ginger I disagree there are men out there who can deal with dating a provider if you as a woman will allow yourself to be a woman and not a provider when you are with them. Thats the key. Turning off the provider /hobbyist persona when you are in real life
Random there alot of real women out there who I imagine can keep your attention if u would give them a chance . Shut off the hobbyist side and take a risk you never know
Jim dating can be hazardness period but u just have to keep trying to find the one and then it becomes all worth it trust me
Keep an open mind you never know what you will find

Ok i think i am the odd one out here.I met my fiance' thru the hobby and it has been one of the best experieces of my life. We are extremely happy together and there is never a dull moment
It has taken alot of commuication and work and sacrifce though
Ginger I disagree there are men out there who can deal with dating a provider if you as a woman will allow yourself to be a woman and not a provider when you are with them. Thats the key. Turning off the provider /hobbyist persona when you are in real life
Random there alot of real women out there who I imagine can keep your attention if u would give them a chance . Shut off the hobbyist side and take a risk you never know
Jim dating can be hazardness period but u just have to keep trying to find the one and then it becomes all worth it trust me
Keep an open mind you never know what you will find Originally Posted by mssassy

It doesn't really have anything to do with a hobbyist side or taking risks. Like I said before, I think I have quite the life(maybe I just think that because it's my life) and I'm not interested in giving that up. You would probably have to know my personal life to understand.

Missy, I bet you and most other providers do not need anything else in your sex life. There are plenty of men ready and willing to fulfill all of your desires I'm sure. I too would do all I could to please you. .

Random user, you and I live a similar life in the regards you presented and I get bored or irritated quickly with mundane duties that relationships bring. At the same time, I enjoy companionship and doing the dishes together or other day to day activities. I see Jon's side too because I do not like drama and I quickly find a way out when it comes up.

Mssassy, congratulations on your relationship and i wish you continued success. I'm one of the men Ginger talks about. I am not secure enough in who I am to share my SO with other men. It's just me and how I'm wired but I know other men are more secure.

Maybe I should develop a Hobby relationship with a provider. I'm pretty good at keeping some of my best friends that ive known for more than 10 years separate. One group of friends still think I have an English accent. Lol.

Ginger, how about it?

I think it's made me less willing to "settle" - everything has to be right, almost "perfect" or I don't want to be bothered, he has to be the total package. I can get the "private time" from the Hobby, therefore dating in the real world requires more than that. It requires the real "courting", and knowing that the "It factor" is there 100%, I have to feel special. Otherwise, I feel it's a waste of time and I could be doing something else instead. The quote "Don't make someone a priority, if they make you an option" comes to mind. So I guess you could say it's made me more selective. I had the perfect man in my life once, it didn't work out, why would I settle for anything less.

XOXO
~Felina~

"Courting"
Now that is a good ole word much used by generations now mostly passed. Thanks for resurrecting the term. It sounds sooooo much more meaningful than dating!! Felina, I hope you will consider writing more about it. It is a subject I should be more educated about.

It is unlikely to find a mate in the escort world, but does happen in rare, very rare, instances. Mostly we just enjoy the illusion, but if the real thing happens, so be it.

I think most single providers are a little leery of the Actual Dating Side because of how they make money and knowing there's a lot of guys that are perfectly happy at home but still hobby. So unless the provider is into the swinger or open lifestyle, then there going to want someone thats going to be faithful to them and not go see JaneBlow Provider.

Unless one has been involved in a close, committed relationship in which both sides play the hobby... it's pretty difficult to understand how "normal" it can be! But, then again... what's normal to two people, may seem reckless and illogical to others... we are all individuals with our own set of personal morals.
The thing most "conventional" people don't get is... most of the same rules from conservative / conventional relationships still apply! Personal differences, and common relationship challenges are still present, and still have to be dealt with, daily.
Let's face it... we all know how difficult it is to maintain a long term, committed personal relationship... even under "normal" circumstances! I think it says a hell of a lot for those who can pull it off for any real length of time!
As in any other conventional relationship... it's quite a challenge to keep the spark alive for years and years... many, if not all of the same challenges can eventually bring separation... and the same pain results with failure to keep it alive!

To have tried... succeeded... and to have enjoyed , makes the gamble SO worthwhile!!