Is a Sugar Baby the Answer?

This is basically a blog post, but with an audience that will ‘tell it like it is’. I fully know that by posting my thoughts HERE…well everyone and anyone can slice and dice to their hearts content.

But honestly, for me, this is one of those thought processes where I am really and truly trying to figure out what it is that I really want.

I love sex…in fact I am sure that if I were to be professionally analyzed, I would be deemed a sex addict. But it really is not the SEX I so much enjoy, but the Nirvana moment. And as easy as it is to reach Nirvana solo using YouPorn.com and other outlets…as easy as it is to Climax and Cum with a Provider, or even my previous SO, what I really desire is that Challenge. A Lady I would LONG for. Desire. Look Forward too…

So, in homage to this Time Capsuled Post…http://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=9404&page=2

I think I need to look into the Sugar Baby concept. Providers are amazing and wonderful and complex, but everything there is measure in Hours…or more accurately Minutes and Seconds. If I wanted to spend serious quality time Massaging a Ladies body…I don’t want to have to pay HER $200. I think I would rather that $200 be part of the 3 or 4 or 8 hour experience, with no set end time. I don’t want to feel that every second another piece of Sand has fallen from the Hour Glass.
And…then there is the Drive factor. I want to feel the DESIRE to improve myself because I want the lady who I am seeming to be impressed…pleased…HAPPY to see me.

My job requires that I work outside of the US. As such, I get to experience the cultures of parts of Europe, Asia and even Australia. And you know what…even though by US standards I am a decently in shape middle aged male…by THOSE other places standards…I am a fat, chubby and out of shape American.

Providers are not too concerned by this…as long as I can provide the $200/hour rate, I am in shape enough.

But if I wanted more, more for me…more for Her…well then I need to find a reason…a drive. Why the fuck work out if you don’t want someone else to enjoy seeing you naked? When I was in my 20’s and it was easy…working out was for working out. Now…there had better be a damn REASON.

So…in my mind, the Sugar Baby is the best answer. A Lady I will connect with (assuming of course there is someone out there that I click with). I fully intend to USE her as a Reason to improve, tone and condition. A reason to groom EVERWHERE, and not just the chin. A reason why I should be doing my pushup and situps in the morning and at night, and between beers during commercials.

My previous SO did NOT give me a drive. I realized that I lost THAT sometime during the dating process, and while I realized it then…I didn’t realize what I would look like, feel like and display to the world without DRIVE.

I have not found any Providers on Eccie that were Sugar Baby material. Well, they were not looking to be one. Hell, I think they make more per month on average than I could possibly expect to afford. But ECCIE has been an amazing Window for me…showing me that there is so much MORE out there to be had and enjoyed.

Just out loud thoughts…ones that didn’t need to be posted on Eccie, but did exist in the realm of Eccie activities.

Right there with ya...

Get premium access (either through writing a review or paying the board some $) and you'll get access to a national mens-only forum discussing SB/SD. Lots of informational stickies there you can check to see if it is what is right for you.

I will say that many will tell you that SBs can be less expensive than providers, but it can very easily go the other way. However if you do not have a SO and have flexible time (overnights, etc) and have some moderate degree of game it could be what you're looking for.

The S Baby concept seems to be coming of age. For that reason, you'll likely not get a lot of experienced advice but what you do get seems to be right on target.

I'll add several things. First, remember that hourly or multi-hour rates allow variety. Many men here find that desirable so consider carefully your need for it. Also remember that gents who have never done it before assume the SB/SD arrangement means unlimited access for a fixed price. That is hardly the truth. ANY relationship has two people and both of those people have schedules, headaches, bad days, etc. All of that can take a serious bite out of "unlimited touching."

Finally, I'll say that these arrangements are more difficult to conclude. When a SB becomes dependent on the income, saying goodbye can be complicated.

My final advice would be to try multi-hour arrangements when you feel the need to take your time. In truth, many gents might tell you that monthly arrangements have very little more sex in them than multi-hour ones. Call it the "marriage dynamic."

All the best.

Two Points: 1. If you're single, there's no problem with SB/SD relationships. 2. If you're married, the SB/SD way can get much more complicated then if you just pay an ECCIE lady for her time/money and then went back home to mama.

Works good for single ladies that are not seeking a relationship other than a SB and wanna send you back home to "mama" at the end of the day...so to speak

Very true pretty lady.

All,

I truly appreciate the feedback and just well thought out replies. Like EVERYTHING in life, there is good and bad with the SB and SD relationship. And for now…since basically everything in life is measured in the NOW…I think I am looking for a SB Muse.

Honestly, one of my ‘fantasies’, but really exists as a goal, is to have a SB who was a Gym Partner. Literally someone I looked forward to seeing when I hit the gym, see her workout and glisten with sweat, pushing me to another level, with the idea that our relationship could include quality time together behind bedroom doors.

When I was in Norway, and everything under 2 miles was ‘walking distance’ for the locals, I just had a moment of awakening that all I need is a spark, someone who reawakens the person I was before I took the SO route and Life Died.

There were 2 ASPD ladies who ‘sparked me’ in that way, but one went from $200 an hour up to close to $500…and the other retired in order to be a surrogate.

And let’s do an analytical exercise…in theory, a Trainer at a Gym (a hot one) goes for $60 an hour? Seeing the trainer 3 times a week is $180? Or on a standard 4 week month $720? And a low maintenance SB needed a $1K budget per month, which included behind doors time?
And I got to burn my fat boy jeans and could see my shoes to tie them again?

Perhaps the reality of a SB will not work out. Perhaps the answer is just within and not to be put on someone else…but I think I am willing to try this route for a bit to see if there is SOMETHING to be learned here.

And again, I appreciate the thought Members have put into their responses.

I too am looking for a similar arrangement -- but being married, cactus fruit has a great point that it can get more complicated -- thus a more mature SB might make more sense, but is probably going to be more expensive. Also Sexy Roxanne has a good point, and I have had a couple of single women in a non-SB/SD relationship, and neither quite clicked -- but they are out there.

I agree with Qziz on the point of information about SB/SD on national forum. I have read quite a bit, and there is great info there.

SB/SD for married men is somewhat like match.com for singles -- it may take some time to find the right person. Also, 1k a month is pretty low unless it is a college student just wanting spending money for a couple of years. So with providers, you can get some of your fill, and discuss with them what their thoughts are on the subject -- my guess is they are much more open to discuss in private after meeting you.

I very much appreciate your post and hope that there will be more comments about it.

GOOD LUCK!!!

So I did some research, joined one site so far, and have started weeding through the ladies and just looking for what I am truly desiring.

And honestly, these websites are very much like ECCIE in a way. And at least 2 of our ECCIE ladies are on at least one, which I found very surprising, and amusing when I read their profiles. Cashier??? Waitress???

I think this will take a solid month, or hell, until the next semester starts at our local colleges, to find the type of lady I desire.

Some of the responses I have received are down right mercenary. Others are incredibly flippant. But it is a different hunt, different search, and for a different goal than the hour or 2 hour long appointments ECCIE offers.

Several members of the board have PM’d me with amazing info and insight regarding what their SB relationships have entailed. I am very grateful for the info and knowledge.

Without causing a ruckus or boring too many members to tears, I would like to continue to post updates to the board, but I will take one piece of advice, and get back on Premium status so that I can post this info where those who care would see it.

But if I wanted more, more for me…more for Her…well then I need to find a reason…a drive. Why the fuck work out if you don’t want someone else to enjoy seeing you naked? When I was in my 20’s and it was easy…working out was for working out. Now…there had better be a damn REASON.

So…in my mind, the Sugar Baby is the best answer. A Lady I will connect with (assuming of course there is someone out there that I click with). I fully intend to USE her as a Reason to improve, tone and condition. A reason to groom EVERWHERE, and not just the chin. A reason why I should be doing my pushup and situps in the morning and at night, and between beers during commercials.

My previous SO did NOT give me a drive. I realized that I lost THAT sometime during the dating process, and while I realized it then…I didn’t realize what I would look like, feel like and display to the world without DRIVE.

I have not found any Providers on Eccie that were Sugar Baby material. Well, they were not looking to be one. Hell, I think they make more per month on average than I could possibly expect to afford. But ECCIE has been an amazing Window for me…showing me that there is so much MORE out there to be had and enjoyed.

Just out loud thoughts…ones that didn’t need to be posted on Eccie, but did exist in the realm of Eccie activities. Originally Posted by AtomicHawk

I absolutely love this post! With myself being a Sugar Baby/Provider/Financial Opportunist (LOL, Seriously?), I have come to find that establishing and maintaining mutual relationships with hobbyists can be a very fun adventure. Something is to be said for having compassion for a person after the hour session has ended. That is priceless.

...Not that there is nothing wrong with an hour session of hot sex with a woman that you find to be attractive, but its an added bonus when you know you two have a bond that involves much more than a financial transaction. Heh.

Solely providing is a hard life to live when you are a young single woman with a big heart.

For this reason, I'd rather call myself a Sugar Baby who escorts. Some of us providers are actually ordinary women who don't mind to be in the company of men who would like to care for us. And I'm talking out the occasional dinner dates, trips to the mall, travels, etc.

If I was married, had a boyfriend, or had kids, I'd be more of a provider who genuinely doesn't have any intentions of creating a drive for a hobbyist. I'd guess it would be one of those, "Bam, Bam, Thank-you Ma'am" Things.

But until then, live, love, and enjoy your life to its fullest!

As previously stated there is a wealth of information on this subject available here on this board in a forum available to males with premium membership. Better information and a wealth of actual experiences including current play by plays with advice available at each step.
No need to look anywhere other than on ECCIE for how to play the game.

You will invest more of your time but less of your money if you want an arrangement that spans multiple weekly visits over months if not years.

if You HAVE the time and at least $600 you will probably wonder why anyone ever sees providers!

The answer simply being, Time. A provider requires the least amount of time invested in order to get laid. However that translates to most amount of money per hour.

I would like to continue to post updates to the board, but I will take one piece of advice, and get back on Premium status so that I can post this info where those who care would see it. Originally Posted by AtomicHawk

I'm glad you've decided to do that. And it works both ways, as sugar babies and providers are such fundamentally different beasts.

z

You have to find the right SB. I was going to meet one last night until she said she wanted me to pay her to talk about her problems.

Alot of potential SB's have no clue what you're looking for!

i think it could be a good thing!
im a single parent so the hobby is my ONLY Adult time
HAVING a consistent Sd/Sb relationship has worked for me before I quit providing for a year! this was an exclusive SB SD relationship and I was very happy! then his wife got sick and we had to part ways