George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man- Hu's name.
George: That- Hu's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China.
And the Middle East.
Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?
- CJ7
- 07-05-2012, 05:20 PM
- CJ7
- 07-05-2012, 05:23 PM
the other side
~~~~~~~~~~~
Hillary Clinton went in for her yearly checkup. When she was finished, she asked her gynecologist how things looked. He said he was pleased and that she is in great shape but, that she was pregnant! She told the doctor there was no way, but he said that she most definitely was a month pregnant. Well, she stormed out of the office and went to the receptionist and took the phone and called the White House.
When the operator answered she said that it was Hillary and that she wanted to talk to Bill right away. Well they rang the oval office and Bill answered.
Hillary said: "Do you know what you did you rotten bastard? You got me pregnant!"
The President remained silent.
Again, Hillary screamed, "DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID, YOU ROTTEN BASTARD? YOU GOT ME PREGNANT!"
Finally Bill answered, "Who is this???"
The President gets into his helicopter with a pig under each arm.
"Nice pigs, sir!" says the marine on duty.
"These aren't just pigs," says the President. "These are prize-winning Arkansas Razorbacks! I got one for Hillary and one for Chelsea."
"Good work, sir!" says the marine. "Excellent trade!"
~~~~~~~~~~~
Hillary Clinton went in for her yearly checkup. When she was finished, she asked her gynecologist how things looked. He said he was pleased and that she is in great shape but, that she was pregnant! She told the doctor there was no way, but he said that she most definitely was a month pregnant. Well, she stormed out of the office and went to the receptionist and took the phone and called the White House.
When the operator answered she said that it was Hillary and that she wanted to talk to Bill right away. Well they rang the oval office and Bill answered.
Hillary said: "Do you know what you did you rotten bastard? You got me pregnant!"
The President remained silent.
Again, Hillary screamed, "DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID, YOU ROTTEN BASTARD? YOU GOT ME PREGNANT!"
Finally Bill answered, "Who is this???"
The President gets into his helicopter with a pig under each arm.
"Nice pigs, sir!" says the marine on duty.
"These aren't just pigs," says the President. "These are prize-winning Arkansas Razorbacks! I got one for Hillary and one for Chelsea."
"Good work, sir!" says the marine. "Excellent trade!"
- Ducbutter
- 07-05-2012, 08:18 PM
the other side
~~~~~~~~~~~
Hillary Clinton went in for her yearly checkup. When she was finished, she asked her gynecologist how things looked. He said he was pleased and that she is in great shape but, that she was pregnant! She told the doctor there was no way, but he said that she most definitely was a month pregnant. Well, she stormed out of the office and went to the receptionist and took the phone and called the White House.
When the operator answered she said that it was Hillary and that she wanted to talk to Bill right away. Well they rang the oval office and Bill answered.
Hillary said: "Do you know what you did you rotten bastard? You got me pregnant!"
The President remained silent.
Again, Hillary screamed, "DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID, YOU ROTTEN BASTARD? YOU GOT ME PREGNANT!"
Finally Bill answered, "Who is this???"
The President gets into his helicopter with a pig under each arm.
"Nice pigs, sir!" says the marine on duty.
"These aren't just pigs," says the President. "These are prize-winning Arkansas Razorbacks! I got one for Hillary and one for Chelsea."
"Good work, sir!" says the marine. "Excellent trade!" Originally Posted by CJ7
Dennis Miller said that vis a vis Bill, Hillary has been cheated on more often than a blind woman playing scrabble with gypsys.
- Sidewinder
- 07-05-2012, 08:27 PM
And of course there's the calendar change in Arkansas.
They cancelled Halloween and Thanksgiving.
The witch went to Washington and she took the turkey with her.
They cancelled Halloween and Thanksgiving.
The witch went to Washington and she took the turkey with her.
- JD Barleycorn
- 07-06-2012, 12:44 AM
I saw the original bit done by Johnny Carson playing Ronald Reagan.