Should/Can it be damaging for a Pro Dommina not be a cookie cutter provider in the BDSM Community..

Question - For MAsters, Kinksters, Subs and other Pro Dommes....

Should a Pro Dommina Skills be looked down on because she has completed other task/ and or ventured into other venues. Like it's no shock to anyone on

Eccie or my current subs/masters or Doms that see me because they researched me first and we get along fine...

Also I get grief because I don't care about being mentored by a male... If the Market has mostly males in the Pro Dom sector then maybe it's better I am mentored by a male...

We all know that some providers get popular in their own special ways.. Mine was the sexy cook encounter...

However, in the Pro Female BDSM Market So many of the Women have a Double Standard when it comes to finally finding your niche.

I meet Pro Dommes that used to be sex workers, porn stars, strippers, webcam girls, phone sex operators etc. you name it. it's been tried.. but i notice with the new comers they never want to talk about what the did before.

This is even if you have a picture or a video clip of them sucking up a cock...

I haven't had any issues with my subs because they notice my craft and I am delivering what i promised during the session...
Some BDSM providers look down on you if you were not using our whip from birth..

I also don't have issues with masters or Fin-Doms... but lifestyle -only and Pro Dommes don't like the fact that i have been a sex object for short time..

I was told that i had too much sex appeal.... And no one in the BDSM Community would respect me but these same providers have to put up fake pictures in order to try and lure their subs....

Why do we wear PVC, or Corsets Or Garters and Thigh-highs if it's not even remotely about having enough sex appeal....

An thoughts on this?

After spending a number of decades stricltly as a sub/switch with dommes and other lasses who would be good enough to come play with me in the bdsm field...I ventured back into the provider world and was surprised/amused as to how bdsm "purists" looked down on a more all-embracing world view, kink-wise. It is odd and a bit silly.

It was for this very reason I left the LifeStyle and came into the hobby. I am a sexual sensual Mistress thus I enjoy the sexual activities that cum with this type of play.......As the BDSM community wants to state they are a non judgemental group, there sure is a lot of judging going on.....IJS. Embrace your sexual side and be true to yourself..............That is what matters most in my book.......

I totally agree with both of you... But i actually like the BDSM world but you are right it is hard to be yourself and be different..

I love my sexy chef Business.. I like the fact of being a tease..funny thing is i don't mix my modeling, or my bodyrubs or my sexy cook encounters... I keep everything separate different websites and everything....

If we are suppose to be kinksters which is way beyond vanilla... Then why is that most superficial group i've met thus far.

Ms. Athena said it best be your self.. they tell me to be myself but are trying to lead me in another direction without my approval..

I love my boobs and i could really care less about having too much sex appeal because it's who i am.. (very sexual and exotic) i'm just wondering how you can have the freakiest, wildest, live out loud fantasies and then look down on everything else.... I was a kinkster way before i was a Pro Domme...

I love sex and just about everything that it has to do with... i'm not changing that.I don't think you have to be sterile to be a great Domme...
I was just wondering I thought that it was just me... As long as my Subs Are Getting what they need you all are both right.. just be myself..

Oh yea BTW Ms. Athena I have been meaning to tell you I love your Banner.. I never looked at it closely until today....

I don't post much in this category, (just lurk lol), but I have to point out a little psychology. Some Pro Dommes are basically self conscious. They feed off of putting down others to make themselves feel better. That's what led them to end up in the field. They have a driving need to feel superior and to be put on a pedestal.

They cannot match up to your hotness, and that makes them resent you. These particular women are not even on your mental level. They are itching a wound they can't heal. Do not take it personally, it's their nature, and there's nothing you can do about it.

You will never please everyone. Some people will find something to point out, even if it doesn't make logical sense. Feelings are not logical.

+1 to be yourself. Shame on you for not combining your different styles You definitely need to be true to yourself, you already have fans, by the looks of it.

Make sure you explore the full depths of what you are and what you enjoy, and don't be afraid of what anyone has to say about it, they are mostly just jealous !

Miss Tylus, I hear you.

The BDSM community has their cultural niches just like the escort world. - Where did you train? Private or club? Dom or Domme? (then the whole Domme vs Domina nonsense). D/s or M/s? Was the s sub or slave? Was it life or lifestyle? - Are you indy, agency or pimped? BP or TER? et al...........

When a Pro Dom ventures into p4p....some odd crazy alarm goes off. Now, I get it. I do. In 30sumthin states BDSM is legal. BDSM defined structly BDSM (no sex). When an individual offers sexual BDSM - it's not so legal anymore and the Lifestylers get upset with the generic public's perception. I understand their very valid point. Just as there are idiot providers, there are idiot Dom/mes.

It IS odd that a culture so vocal about freedom and acceptance is so quick to judge though, isn't it? How many Pro Dommes do you personally know who started out straight BDSM...then went further? Sex in a Pro Domme setting is the equivalent of bareback in the escort world - looked down and preached against but it wouldn't be an issue if it wasn't happening now would it?

Just look the haters in the eye and smile. Thats my philosophical advice. My business advice is to keep Mistress Tylus and ambercream two totally separate individuals. Sep phone, email. sites, pix, rates, profiles, "services" etc. It's a pain, but it works. Works very well.

As to Pro Dom's being haters whatever ...that's just bullshit. There are assholes everywhere in every walk - in the 'style and in the hobby, at home, church, gas station..everywhere.

A Pro Dom (a real one) is not self conscious. A real Dominant is laser focused on their submissive. Period. No other way to be or become a Dom. My dictionary nowhere defines BDSM as "the art of putting another down". In my real life (as a lifer and a pro) - no respectable individual, family, group, organization or club allows such abnormal behaviors. It's abuse..and just assholish.

Wow, thnx everyone i was just wondering. I'm not self conscious at all but I don have the personality type to be a perfectionist.. And also coming from medicine to try and please everyone and be as accommodating as I can yet keep everything separate.. emails,phone, websites etc. I had to get an assistant as Tylus and as Mistress Ty just to keep up on everything. The funny thing is I have never slept with any of my BDSM clients because that's not what they are looking for. I don't think that people like that i can keep the two separate they think i'm probably offering extras but i don't... Funny.. Really Funny..

As it's been pointed out, much of the pro-domme community look down upon those ladies in the sexual side of the industry for various reasons.

I don't quite understand the divide, but then again we are talking about sex, and society overall has this very odd relationship with sex. There's an invisible line between sweet and slutty, beautiful and sexy, etc. Most sexual issues seem to have very flexible definitions depending upon who you ask, if there's anyone else around for the answer, etc. Peer pressure has a lot to do with it.

But lets call it what it is... pro-dommes are in the sexual industry too. While they may not have penis-vagina penetrative sex, they'll use a strap-on, or a toy, or let the guy orgasm on his own. Not to mention they wear sexually suggestive clothing... except for Madonna, Gaga and a few street-trannies, how many people wear corsets, stockings and stiletto heels around the house just because? No, they do it because they DO want to be seen as sexually inviting and desirable and arousing. And yeah, teasing and denial is a part of most play scenes as well.

I don't think there IS an good answer for any of this. There are many reasons why people act and think a certain way, and its really up to the individual to agree or not. The lifestyle community has just as my cliques as anyone else, and we have just as many good, bad, stupid, sexist, helpful and dickheads as any other group. I think sometimes it just seems more because we are a smaller sub-culture and everything appears worse than it is because you have fewer data points to spread things around.

I always tell people to just be yourself, and judge others how they treat you and treat others. The rest... meh. It's really not worth the hassle or grief to do anything about it. A dickhead is gonna be a dickhead, so there's no point arguing or trying to change them. You'll quickly find the right people if you do a little searching and interaction.

I am in the BDSM scene. I don't look down on Pro-Dommes. I also have friends who are providers. I have mentored some of them into the Pro-Domme arena. I think as some providers age they consider Pro-Domme as service. I am very understanding though. I do hear whispers behind the scenes like "Oh she is a Pro-Domme". So yes there is a double standard and yes the BDSM scene says they are accepting but they are the worst when it comes to being judgmental.

oh wow i had no idea. I know in northern states it's not as bad but in Texas it's a lot worse not sure why...

I’ve been around the BDSM community since my late teens, and have always found it amusing that a few people seem to want to set up the rules for all the rest of us. I could almost write a novel on this thread, but I will spare everyone.
I am not collared, but have been seeing a Mistress on a regular basis for at least 6 or 7 years. Upon our first meeting, I realized I had met the perfect Mistress when she said something to the effect of, “I can clean my own boots, I have much better use for your tongue!”

There is no hell, do what you want. I have been trying to get some advice in this field, I hope you can help AmberCream.... or anyone else that could offer some good advice. I have tried asking other Dominas and either they don't want to share, or don't have time.

Anyway, I have been on a long road to where I am today. I started as a slut, then a swinger with my ex-husband, after we split sexy housekeeper, then tried stripping for a couple of weeks (didn't much care for that), then went on to providing all sorts of services and fetishes.

Some of my best and most favorite clients are subs. I also think it would be hot to be properly dominated, therefore putting me in the "switch" category. The thing is I've had no training other then random BDSM videos I find and the guidance of long term subs. I'm somewhat wary of letting any ole body try and dominate me because I am a "smart-ass sub" and I'm not sure I could handle a beating.... and that could just turn some dommes off altogether... I wouldn't know tho.

Is there a path you could point me down to help me better myself in the world of Fuck? It would be much appreciated....

And to answer your question with My Personal Opinion.... nothing should be looked down upon by anyone if it's not going against the laws of Karma. We are who we are by the adventures we have taken in life and truely open-minded people understand that.

xoxo
Roxanne

In this area of business i would say they sexier and the more things you dabble in ... The more trouble it can get you into. The concept of female supremacy is suppose to be above men at all cost.. This does not work very well( to traditional dommes) when you model, try stripping, apear in a/ some porn having your brains bangged out.. etc..etc...

Being a switch in the Domme World is a turn off to many Pro Domminas... the reason(s) i was told is because the industry have been taken over by males and there aren't really making room for ladies...

However, I know in my case i enjoy being a sub for only one guy.. My Fiancee/ soon to be husband. If you are a switch find someone you know and trust dealy. I trust him... that's all and still i am very demanding even with that.. it's like i love the torture (so at this point who's really dominating who?

If you can't handle the beating then have them start off slow, have your safe word in place and begin to play. You will develope a tolerance for it slowly...

There are a couple of dungeons in Dallas only a couple. There are all types of classes and networks you can join to inform your self as much as possible.
I am on fetlife.com where you can find groups of people, where you reside to help and that offer workshops.. play parties etc. i am also a Pro domme on Femdommesociety.com you can find a network there to help and answer questions and live webcam shows of teaching how to do things.... and such... are you on any sites like that? if not join... i am sure you would enjoy the networking you can get out of it... Join fet life and search groups in your area and see what pops up.. hope this helps a little bit..

Mistress Ty..

I enjoy some FS with my Fetishes (spanking)...
I think the issue as described above comes from folks thinking being a Pro-Dom is legal activity and anything else provided is illegal activity... but I'm not a lawyer nor do I play one on tv....