When to stop seeing a provider

Reincarnated's Avatar
Over the years on this board and ASPD, I have met several really wonderful ladies that I would have love to have dated in my younger days. I see them for awhile and then as life has it, they move on, get married, get a career, etc. Being the tender hearted fool I am I am very happy for them because I do care about them but sometimes it feels like I just broke up from a serious relationship since often times they provided me many hours of passion and affection both BCD and non-BCD.

My question to the ladies and civilized members of this board is how do you know you need to stop seeing them and start seeing a different provider/client so you don't fall into this trap?

Yes I know, Im a fool, especially for asking here, but I thought I might get a few good responses between the harassment I expect..
I guess people stop seeing for different reasons , for you it's the emotional , for me it's purely the level of service . Two consecutive blah sessions and I'm done , I realize people have off days . But that's my criteria , there are over 500 choices between Here and SA , no reason not to keep looking for better .
I guess it just depends on you. Years ago I used to see this young hot lass once a week. I did that for about 3 months until she moved away or something (I don't know for sure what happened I think her phone went out after that). I enjoyed seeing her but I don't remember doing anything other then finding someone else to see. Now a day's I rarely see a provider more then once (kind of a bucket list thing) but there are strippers that I see on a regular basis and if I clicked enough with a provider I probably would see her more often. For me being in a relationship I'm not looking for that out of providers what I'm looking for is variety otherwise I'd just go start dating someone. With strippers I have only once developed feelings and actually did start dating a young lass last year and once that ended I went back to my rotation thing.

Do what makes you happy, just understand it's usually a one way street, you may be developing feelings or whatever is going on but to them you're a client regardless of what they tell you and once you let on about feelings it can go one of several ways.

1. You'll start getting lackluster service and bcd (if you don't look thru open eye's you might not even notice)
2. They'll start hitting you up for favors, i.e. money, gifts etc....

3. It might enhance your visit

I once had a provider ask me if we could be in love when I came to visit. I found it an odd thing to say but she said it would enhance our time together and she was right they were the best sessions I've ever had with a provider.

Sorry I don't think I ever really answered your question.

I'm not going to fall into the trap so for me it doesn't really matter because I mix in strippers, providers, civies's ext.. Each person is going to be different, only you can decide if seeing someone more then a few times put's you into the trap. The only time it did happen I was seeing a stripper 5 day's a week ( kinda hard not to fall into a trap when you spend more time with them then you do your own SO)
Reincarnated's Avatar
Good advice so far. Thanks. Any girls want to chime in?
a few ladies that haven't even seen a gentleman that keeps numbers and text past potiential clients out of the blue saying hey would you like to see me today - I'm back in town! Seriously ladies thats against the rules! I had a session today when a local austin provider coming back into town did that !
You cannot text someone you've never seen because they requested an appointment months ago! Totally annoying and totally uncalled for post an ad! Id never see that girl! "Crazy"

From a providers standpoint I'd say if a guy asks for BBFS / trys to See me everyday/ or makes me feel uncomfortable ie "i love u" um its over!
Reincarnated's Avatar
Fortunately Absolutely for me it never has gotten to that point with my fav gals because I know better...but every once in awhile I will have a session that is so passionate it feels so "real" and intimate that it really shakes me up. Hope to meet you at the next social, btw.
Qziz's Avatar
  • Qziz
  • 09-11-2012, 06:42 PM
If it bothers you that she's seeing me, you should probably move on.

(Replace 'me' with any of a number of people...)
a few ladies that haven't even seen a gentleman that keeps numbers and text past potiential clients out of the blue saying hey would you like to see me today - I'm back in town! Seriously ladies thats against the rules! I had a session today when a local austin provider coming back into town did that !
You cannot text someone you've never seen because they requested an appointment months ago! Totally annoying and totally uncalled for post an ad! Id never see that girl! "Crazy"

From a providers standpoint I'd say if a guy asks for BBFS / trys to See me everyday/ or makes me feel uncomfortable ie "i love u" um its over! Originally Posted by Absolutely
I've had that happen a couple of times and it is uncalled for to send out unsolicited txts just because you saw a gent one time. Some ladies in the past would sent out blanket txts everytime they ran specials or something and the first time I got them I told them to please do not send me unsolicited txts. I got one the other day from a dallas lady telling me she was using and booking agent. I was like who are you and why are you telling me this?????

I've also recieved p411 pm's from ladies who I have told I would like to see them when they come back to town and I appreciate those as they don't come directly to me via my phone and they let me know when some fav's are back in town.
Yeah... if you think there's a problem then there's a problem.
Okay but were talking about she's NEVER EVEN seen this guy before! He tried to see her with no luck months ago! She kept his email address and phone number and and solicited him for the second time! He asked her to stop again she said she take note again! Some people just never learn! Stop means stop and no means no! It pisses me off ...her bullshit affects my client during my session!
chipsandsalsa's Avatar
If you log on to this board, and you are browsing the review section, and you see a review on your ATF, and you go crazy with jealousy, then that is a good indication to move on.

We are all human, and if you do develop either an arrangement with an ATF, or a sugar baby relationship, you ARE going to develop feeelings for each other, especially if you are seeing each other on a weekly basis for any length of time.

Enjoy the moment....and when you catch yourself at your desk, daydreaming about where your ATF is at that moment, or what she is doing, then you know its time to move on before you hurt eithers feelings.

Hope that helps, Reincarnated.
If you log on to this board, and you are browsing the review section, and you see a review on your ATF, and you go crazy with jealousy, then that is a good indication to move on.

We are all human, and if you do develop either an arrangement with an ATF, or a sugar baby relationship, you ARE going to develop feeelings for each other, especially if you are seeing each other on a weekly basis for any length of time.

Enjoy the moment....and when you catch yourself at your desk, daydreaming about where your ATF is at that moment, or what she is doing, then you know its time to move on before you hurt eithers feelings.

Hope that helps, Reincarnated. Originally Posted by chipsandsalsa
Well Said
I think I feel for you incarnate. My ATF just ended an 18 month relationship because she was falling in love with me. I knew she was a very low volume provider and it didn't bother me at all that she had other clients. She said I was special and that made the sessions incredible! Whether she was totally honest, I don't know and it really doesn't matter because our time together was so good. It hurt a lot when she ended our run. But it was worth everything in the end. Wouldnt change a thing.
I've only seen one provider twice and that was years ago because she called Me out of the clear blue asking if I might be interested in a no charge repeat visit for some BCD action and to hang out for a bit as she was passing through town. "She claimed she liked me more than just as a client and would like to stop by on occasion".

It didn't take me long to figure out she was just trying to groom me to become one of her many stop over sugar daddies with a free place to crash while she was in town working.
(In the hobby Free is NEVER free). For example "I don't have money for air fare to get back to Dallas". I quickly called her on it and politely dumped her which she didn't take too kindly to so she started making crank calls etc. Lesson learned.

Aside from that one exception I have Never seen the same provider twice. While they have all been great ladies nobody has made enough of an impression on me in terms of service to justify a repeat session. I'm not here looking for a paid CFS GF.

I like variety so someone would have to offer more than just another young pretty face and decent lay for me to go there twice. Haven't seen it yet. In fact my best lays by far have all been in the civie world.
Just my opinion but it sounds like you are a lover , as am I. I could be wrong but I will speak as if this is the case. People like us are ruled by our rough and tumble hearts. This will lead us down many paths , rich in passion , revalation , regret , intensity and pain. Just to name a few. Its all a bittersweet , beautiful crazy dance. Personally I would rather dance every dance with an open heart and wreckless abandon. Even when it hurts like hell , I feel like im being true to myself to be vulnerable and accept a little heartache just to catch a glimpse of the pleasure and satisfaction real intimacy can offer. Its just worth it to me. I will never learn my lesson and truth be told I dont want to. I would rather feeeel it. All of it. The good , bad and the busted. Its so hard to not make fear based choices , and even more so when dealing with matters of the heart. How amazing I hope it will feel though , in the end to know I didnt miss to many opportunities because of fear. Dont get me wrong , Im the biggest chicken shit ever and I make fear based decisions often but I have learned to be open for the ride with personal relationships as best as I can . Things I have learned from people that I dug my heels in with instead of running like my body screamed at me to do, some of these things are priceless. I dont know if they always felt the same. I dont know if thet even remember me now. I know what it meant to me though. I appreciate you for posting this. It was beyond refreshing and I commend your openess , and I commend you even further if you forgive my spelling. Never was my strong suite ; )