One of My Better Days

klll1's Avatar
  • klll1
  • 10-09-2012, 02:53 AM
So I have had some health issues for the last year and had one of the best days that I have had in a while. Decided to have me a drink or two today and now I am laying in bed and enjoying looking at the stars, moon and breathing the fresh air...and then it dawns on me where the hell is my roof.

Maybe I had more than one of two drinks...
klll1's Avatar
  • klll1
  • 10-09-2012, 03:04 AM
I am passing this on to you becasue it definitley works and we all could use a little more calmness in our lives. By following this simple advice heard on Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed...The way to find inner peace is to finish all the things you have started but didn't finish. So I looked around my house and before leaving today. I finished a bottle of Crown...a bottle of Baileys Irish Cream...a package of Oreos...the remainder of an old Vicodin prescription...the rest of the Cheesecake...some Doritos...a box of chocolates and the rest of my Xanax. You have no fucking idea how good I feel right now. Dr. Phil is th bomb!!!
Tetas's Avatar
  • Tetas
  • 10-09-2012, 04:28 AM
Sounds like you've had a good evening, hope you don't have to pay too hard for it tomorrow...Err, I mean today!
klll1's Avatar
  • klll1
  • 10-09-2012, 08:25 PM
Here's Your Important Legal Notice

Hope this will help you have a better day.

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress has decide to implement a scheme to put worker of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployement.

This scheme will be know as RAPE (Ritire Aged People Early)
-------
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program(Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Worker).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Congress deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS(Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES(Half Earnings for Retired Personel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Congress.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT(Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.