Ok I have not been a member for that long however, I guess just before I joined I had slight issues with confidence and fear of rejection. More to do with being out of the dating scene for a while because of a bad relationship. I was thinking the other day, about how much my dating life has changed (civie) since being a member.
Sometimes just being with an attractive woman and getting to 'know' her is a confidence booster to some. Maby you feel a bit more spirited or confident when asking a woman out without fear of rejection. I have found that since I don't fear rejection then it doesn't seem to be quite a big deal. In fact, it's pretty small and almost seems funny that it was an issue to begin with. So I guess in essence, and in a strange surreal sort of way, the 'hobby' has unknowingly aided in civie success. In my experience, confidence brings more opportunity for success, and any apprehension is easily washed aside with the thought of, " I could always go see HER name here..if it didn't work out." This lead me to think about something else though....
Is this viewed as a negative? Maby. It could be negative for both civie, and 'hoby'. For example, if I meet a civie girl, would I compare her to someone I have met here or had noticed here and compare them. It takes money out of a girl's pocket here but it could also be a catalyst for potentially ruining something civie that could have been wonderful had the comparison not taken place. I guess in the long run, one has to decide for themselves what's worth more to them. I guess I'm just curious if there is anyone that might have a different perspective on how to look at things. At least for me, I like the thought of going to hang out with someone that just likes to see me. as oppossed to going to see someone that just wants to get paid and can put up with me. I like seeing someone that is concerned for me instead of someone that gives me 15 extra minutes free 'because im so special' (thanks, I feel special!! WOW 15 whole minutes just for me?!! THANKS!!!)
On the other hand, this 'hobby' gives me the opportunity to meet different people that I otherwise would find attractive and would like to get to know, that would probaby not work out in meeting in civie life based off of first impressions, jugments from both sides about eachother, and well maby appearances too. There are no strings attatched here, or in civie too for that matter but, in a recent post it was mentioned about providing without a heart. I came to the conclusion, that I can rarely 'hobby' without a heart. Just because I meet a chick from here wont mean that I don't give a shit if she's going through a rough time or something but that's a two way street. Is this simply a matter of setting ground rules and not crossing it?
Anyone have a different insight into this? Just curious.
