seemed to be be pissed if i have already scheduled like i am a no show . . . . and then they seem to be pissed at you what do you do ?
Originally Posted by golfertexas
I suspect it's not entirely that you send the request when they're not going to get it for awhile (unless you make it sound like you expect an immediate response at 2:30 in the morning).
Rather than a "no show," they may be thinking of this as functionally equivalent to "double booking." That is, A suspects you already booked with B but were trying to book with A too, as a backup plan just in case B flaked. And then would cancel if B didn't flake. Or that you booked with B a week ago but you are contacting A at the last minute because B cancelled -- that is, A was a back-up plan.
You can try to avoid that by making clear that with a short notice window of opportunity you have to contact several and then book with the first who responds. Otherwise, if you wait to contact X until you hear back from Z that she's not available, the odds are too high you won't be able to see anyone. So you make clear when contacting that she's not the only one you're contacting, why you're doing it that way, and (at least by implication) that the first to respond wins. Then when you do book with someone, let the others know immediately that you've made other arrangements.
Some will accept that and consider it reasonable. But there will be some who will still be offended. They don't want to be part of a "casting call" and just one of your options. They want to be THE ONE you're interested in seeing -- not ever, but at least on that day. They don't want to be considered freely interchangeable any more than some hobbyists like being a fungible wallet. (And, if they suspect you booked a week ago but that lady jus cancelled, they don't like being your "second choice.")
There may not be a lot that fit into that category, at least until they've established a relationship with you, but there are some. I've encountered at least one and was chastised (politely) accordingly. It's entirely their right to take that attitude. About all you can do is respect their position and never contact them -- unless you have more advance notice so that you can contact only her until she has plenty of time to respond.