Splinters in her crotch - ECCIE Worldwide

A tree-hugging, liberal anti-hunter lesbian activist from LA purchased a piece of timberland near Colville, WA. There was a tall tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land, so she climbed the tree to look around. As she neared the top, she encountered a spotted owl that savagely attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree, getting dozens of splinters in her crotch before reaching the ground. In considerable pain, she hurried to a local ER to see a doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist Democrat anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters.

The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to wait in the examining room while he checked to see if he could help her. She sat and waited three hours before the doctor reappeared. The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?"

He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a 'recreational area' so close to a waste treatment facility. I'm sorry, but due to Obamacare they turned you down."