JD, Whirl, Captainn, Cute: fill in the blanks

I wanted to provide an easy template for the right wingers on here for your convenience:

Here's how I hated Obama's speech:_______________________ _________

Because it was full of lies? Do I win something? Actually, I didn't hate it. I didn't watch it. There's more truth in a episode of the Kardashians than in one of Obama's speeches.

A blow job from the dolly lamer with seedy holding your balls.