- sue_nami
- 04-11-2013, 07:03 PM
who's going which nights? I am going tonight and sat for sure. maybe Friday too. I am excited to such a wide range of talented beautiful ladies.
- sue_nami
- 04-11-2013, 07:04 PM
http://www.texasburlesquefestival.com/home.php
this is the web page with ticket prices and whos dancing when.
this is the web page with ticket prices and whos dancing when.
- Kitty D'Luxe
- 04-12-2013, 08:47 AM
Thanks for reminding me about this! Maybe homer and I will go, if not I might text ya & fly solo tomorrow!
- sue_nami
- 04-12-2013, 10:10 AM
OMG it was so good last night. I swear it was all women about 85% last night. where the hell were all the guys??? I never so many hot woman in one place all dolled up with no guys hitting on them. it was surreal. but I am sure fri and sat will be packed. you guys missed out on Thursday night, 26 dancers and killer hot audience of appreciative ladies.
- Seeker
- 04-12-2013, 06:53 PM
An event in Austin where there's more women than men? Thanks for the tip!
- LordBeaverbrook
- 04-13-2013, 01:15 AM
Too bad it is only once a year. Totally too bad I missed it. Damn!
- Smokin Joe
- 04-13-2013, 01:36 AM
It was great.
- sue_nami
- 04-13-2013, 10:17 AM
I am going again tonight with friends. I am excited.
- Smokin Joe
- 04-14-2013, 11:46 PM
I think I liked Friday night better than Saturday night. Both were great though. The MC was hilarious. The way she fucked with the sign language interpreter friday was funny as hell. She sure had a lot of funny jokes. I wish I could remember some of them. Who is she?
- sue_nami
- 04-15-2013, 09:46 AM
she is a burlesque dancer from Denver. let me look her up for you. she is big HOOT and sexy as hell and funny.
- mrhamm
- 04-15-2013, 03:47 PM
I was there all three nights. The deaf interpreter jokes got old for me halfway through Thursday night. This is the third year I've gone, so I'd heard her (Cora Vette) tell all of the jokes atleast one before. She doesn't dance, she is just a singer/host who specializes in such shows. If you watch her in the side wings while there are performers on stage, you will catch her reading through joke books. She keeps the jokes dirty, but fairly inoffensive (if you don't get offended by foul language).
Jokes I remember are below. I googled so I don't have to type them out:
Leprechaun
A man walks into the bathroom, and steps up to a urinal. He can't help but notice the short man at the urinal next to him, and the large penis this man has.
He says to the short man, "Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice what a large penis you have." The short man replies, "I am a leprechaun, and I can grant you three wishes."
The man is kind of skeptical, but he decides to believe him anyway. "OK, "He says, "I want to live in a mansion." The short man replies, "Sure. Tomorrow morning you will wake up in it."
The man says, "Next, I want a beautiful girlfriend." "OK, "the short man replies, "Tomorrow you will wake up next to her." The man is still not sure whether to believe him, but he continues.
"I want a penis as large as yours." "Alright, but the is one catch, the short man replies. "What's that, the man asks?" "I have to have sex with you from behind, the short man says.
The other man thinks for a second, and decides anything is worth getting a penis that large. "OK, go right ahead." The short man starts to do his thing, and the other man says, "I can't believe I'm gonna have a penis as big as yours."
The short man replies, "I can't believe you thought I was a leprechaun!"
Nun:
A cabby picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won’t stop staring at her.
She asks him why is he staring and he replies, “I have a question to ask you but I don’t want to offend you.”
She answers, ‘My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun a long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.”
“Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun go down on me.”
She thinks a bit and then responds, “Well, let’s see what we can do about that: #1 you have to be single and #2 you must be Catholic.”
The cab driver is very excited and says, “Yes, I am single and I’m Catholic too!”
The nun says, “OK, pull into the next alley.”
He does and the nun fulfills his fantasy.
But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. “My dear child,” said the nun, “why are you crying?”
“Forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess, I’m married and I’m Jewish.”
The nun says, “That’s OK, my name is Kevin and I’m on my way to a Halloween party.”
Blow dolls:
There was these two old men sitting in one of the old mens house. They haven't had sex in 20 years... The first old man then said,"I have an idea...Lets go to the wh*** house and have sex with a young lady!"
The other old man agreed and they went to the wh*** house and went to the lady up front and asked her for one woman each to have sex with..
The lady behind the counter thought,"well my girls are to good for these old mean, so I'll give them blow up dolls...They wont know the difference."
So she gave them each a blow up doll and the old men thought they were real living girls.. They went to a room did their business and came out and went home..
On the way home the 1st old man said,"You know..when i was doing my business i think that girl was dead, she didnt say anything, move or anything..Just laid there" he looekd at the other old man and said,"what do you think?"
The other old man looked at him and said,"I think mine was a witch.." the first old man asked,"Why you say that?" and the 2nd old man responded,"Because when I bit her on the boob she farted and flew out the window."
Rubix cube:
Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.
Walrus:
Q. What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.
Jokes I remember are below. I googled so I don't have to type them out:
Leprechaun
A man walks into the bathroom, and steps up to a urinal. He can't help but notice the short man at the urinal next to him, and the large penis this man has.
He says to the short man, "Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice what a large penis you have." The short man replies, "I am a leprechaun, and I can grant you three wishes."
The man is kind of skeptical, but he decides to believe him anyway. "OK, "He says, "I want to live in a mansion." The short man replies, "Sure. Tomorrow morning you will wake up in it."
The man says, "Next, I want a beautiful girlfriend." "OK, "the short man replies, "Tomorrow you will wake up next to her." The man is still not sure whether to believe him, but he continues.
"I want a penis as large as yours." "Alright, but the is one catch, the short man replies. "What's that, the man asks?" "I have to have sex with you from behind, the short man says.
The other man thinks for a second, and decides anything is worth getting a penis that large. "OK, go right ahead." The short man starts to do his thing, and the other man says, "I can't believe I'm gonna have a penis as big as yours."
The short man replies, "I can't believe you thought I was a leprechaun!"
Nun:
A cabby picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won’t stop staring at her.
She asks him why is he staring and he replies, “I have a question to ask you but I don’t want to offend you.”
She answers, ‘My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun a long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.”
“Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun go down on me.”
She thinks a bit and then responds, “Well, let’s see what we can do about that: #1 you have to be single and #2 you must be Catholic.”
The cab driver is very excited and says, “Yes, I am single and I’m Catholic too!”
The nun says, “OK, pull into the next alley.”
He does and the nun fulfills his fantasy.
But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. “My dear child,” said the nun, “why are you crying?”
“Forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess, I’m married and I’m Jewish.”
The nun says, “That’s OK, my name is Kevin and I’m on my way to a Halloween party.”
Blow dolls:
There was these two old men sitting in one of the old mens house. They haven't had sex in 20 years... The first old man then said,"I have an idea...Lets go to the wh*** house and have sex with a young lady!"
The other old man agreed and they went to the wh*** house and went to the lady up front and asked her for one woman each to have sex with..
The lady behind the counter thought,"well my girls are to good for these old mean, so I'll give them blow up dolls...They wont know the difference."
So she gave them each a blow up doll and the old men thought they were real living girls.. They went to a room did their business and came out and went home..
On the way home the 1st old man said,"You know..when i was doing my business i think that girl was dead, she didnt say anything, move or anything..Just laid there" he looekd at the other old man and said,"what do you think?"
The other old man looked at him and said,"I think mine was a witch.." the first old man asked,"Why you say that?" and the 2nd old man responded,"Because when I bit her on the boob she farted and flew out the window."
Rubix cube:
Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.
Walrus:
Q. What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.
- Smokin Joe
- 04-15-2013, 09:11 PM
I was there all three nights. The deaf interpreter jokes got old for me halfway through Thursday night. This is the third year I've gone, so I'd heard her (Cora Vette) tell all of the jokes atleast one before. Originally Posted by mrhamm
I can see where she could get old after the first time. Jerry Sienfeld was so funny the first time I saw him that I was sore the next day. I was used to him by the third time I saw him and it wasn't as good.
A man walks into a bar and sees a sign that says:
Hamburger $1Noticing that the lady behind the bar was young and gorgeous, he inquired if she was the one who gave the hand jobs. She said that she was indeed. He thought a minute and told her to wash hers hands and give him a cheesburger.
Cheeseburger $2
Hand job $3
- Loxly
- 04-22-2013, 08:49 PM
Went for the Sat. show. A lot of talent. Biggest laugh I got was the woman in the audience who gobbled up the banana and then found out it wasn't a guy. I was surprised that there weren't a lot of folks that stuck around for the mixer, but I attribute that to that fact that the show ended with a 10 min. last call at the bar. Show probably could have wrapped up a little earlier.
- Smokin Joe
- 04-22-2013, 10:39 PM
- Loxly
- 04-27-2013, 09:48 PM