Fast: busy, controlling, aggressive, hurried, analytical, stressed, superficial, impatient, quantity over quality
Slow: calm, careful, receptive, still, intuitive, unhurried, patient, reflective, quality over quantity. It is all about making real and meaningful connections
Which style is yours or where would you like to be or are you already there?
I'm an advocate of slowness.
There is something so beautiful about slowing down...
Preparation
There is nothing else on your mind
I recommend deep breathing beforehand if feeling a little tense
Sometimes it takes a little practice
Wherever you are coming from - a crazy busy hectic week at work
to stop, switch over into a state of clarity and mindfulness
But it's worth it
and I promise you don't have to be a disciplined student of tantra, yoga,
or wherever else they teach these philosophies
The Art of Slow is not some type of otherworldly cult
It's a natural state of being
Stimulation of the Senses
Pre-Date
Initial contact - Mental, Written, or Verbal
after sharing the basic necessary details over email/phone
take the time to really introduce yourself, could be in one or two lines,
describing what kind of person you are
and what kind of experience you think you would enjoy,
offering the provider more insight
and showing her you took the extra time, effort to "connect"
if she feels drawn to your offer
she will likely put in her best effort ensuring a mutually enjoyable experience
The Voice
How powerful is the human voice
When someone sounds like a jerk, impersonal, insensitive
or soothing, attentive, inviting
not from their words but from the sound of their voice
how can you just sense that
how powerful is that
a voice that repels you, blocks your heart
or makes you feel relaxed and 'safe' going into a date
The Date
So there you are....you've slowed down
and maybe feeling excited, a bit nervous
Visual
What details do you first notice
Do you linger longer on the face
are they genuinely smiling and seem welcoming
or do they barely make eye contact
does it feel fake, insincere, rushed right from the beginning
body language
Be sure you notice everything - in a gentle manner
Every perfection (or imperfection) the Whole of what your partner is
The other person will feel awareness of this and feel more accepted
Now some of you may feel insecure of the thought of someone noticing your "imperfections"
but the very root of sensuality depends on accepting all your parts and being at peace with it
Do you greet each other with a slow caressing hug
or it doesn't seem natural?
Do you take their hand and kiss it - women can do this too, let's not be sexist
Lean in closer, breathe in their essence, place your hand around the gentle curve of the neck, placing a light feathery kiss
Conversation
I think here people really get a bit confused
What is conversation? Is it just moving your mouth randomly "small talk"
There is also a fine line between what's too personal and impersonal
Example of Too personal - Soooo ...how'd ya get into This? wink wink
Impersonal - You've got Nothing to say. Blank stare, no visible emotions
I also think in face to face interpersonal communication
is where it really all comes out
It's an opportunity to discover each others personalities
- and if you're good at sort of understanding a person
through what they like to talk about,
are they very mental/analytical, lengthy, detail oriented
vague, dreamy
lighthearted, full of laughter
you can often get a sense of
how they would like to be treated in bed
Speaking of which some of you Fast laner's might be wondering at this point
OK NOW CAN WE FINALLY GET TO THE PART WHERE THE SEX STARTS???
To which I'd have to say
the actual act of lovemaking is something you have to build yourself up to
and is the last part of the journey
a lengthy pleasurable journey...of the unknown
each experience is different and unique
and I will get into that on my next post
The Art of Slow Sensual Lovemaking Part 11
Meanwhile you'll just have to be patient
and contribute your thoughts
I would love to hear about
how you like to be treated, prepare
and your past positive/disappointing experiences
leading up to the Big Moment