Let me start by 1st saying this... I got played... I got crushed... I got chewed up, spit out and boo'd off stage... I allowed myself to fall for a rookie mistake and cross a thinly veiled line that exists in this Hobby. That said, no names will be revealed here as my purpose for this is not to put anyone on blast but rather share a redemption story. So don't ask me who, what, when, why or how, I will not tell. Period.
Last night, I had to vent.. I had let a recent situation in this Hobby get in my head and it had truly reached a boiling point. What was so frustrating was I felt like I had no one I could talk to about it. To protect my "civilian" life, I didn't feel comforatable spilling all the details to anyone close to me..Besides, unless they were truly in this Hobby they would never fully understand. That all changed when I was reading a review (One I had read many times) written by an established and well respected Hobbiest ... One paragraph in particular grabbed me as I realized that this person had been through the very same thing I was going through. Now this person and I had had minor communications in the past and I found him to be insightful and very helpful. When I would PM him a question, he would always respond when he could have easily just dismissed me as some rookie Hobbiest. I found that he had the utmost "respect for the game" if you will and wanted to share it, especially with those of us so new.. Last night however, I dropped a bomb on him... I unleashed everything I was going through with this situation and left it all out there. I desperately needed his help....
Now two things happened here.... 1) I remembered the power of sitting down and writing my issues out. When I do this, the issues become so much clearer and thus become easier to solve. Doing this had also helped clear my head tremendously. 2) Literally within an hour I had a response in my inbox. I will keep that response confidential but once again this person had crafted and articulated a masterful response. Most importantly, he had handed me the knife to cut this albatross from around my neck..
Last night, I was finally able to sleep peacefully. I was finally able to let go... I awoke this morning to a beautiful sunrise and the promise of a new day. Blaring in my head was Eminem's "Cinderella Man", one of my favorite redemption songs.. To that person, I owe you and am forever grateful.... And to all you other Hobbiests, you are not alone! Respect the gift, have fun and when things get fucked up, there is always someone who has been through the same thing willing to help!!!