Phrases that Set Me Free

Horn^I^Dog's Avatar
OK, it's not really a problem here. But y'all have to understand I've been around forever; read tons of reviews; and I may just be a lill OLD country mouse but I'm an ass hole.

That being said here are a few cliched phrases used in reviews that set me free. If you have any to add, please doe.

1) She has (tits, ass, pussy, etc.) to die for! Hell, I'm north of 107 and in all those years I ain't never thought, "I'd put a gun to my head just to see her (tits, ass,pussy, etc.).

2) I (ventured, slithered, etc.) southward to her pussy. Do bring a compass with you to a session? You mean you don't do daty unless her feet are pointing to the south? And ditch the word "slithered" I doubt very much you have a serpentine tongue.

3) She had responsive nipples. Hell, I've talked to over 100 providers' nipples. To date not one has talked back.

4) She seemed to enjoy it until she had her first O. You weren't sure if she liked it and then her bell rang?

5) Her pussy was tasty and sweet. I can understand tasty, but sweet? The only sweet pussies I've ever tasted were Rebecca's and Hooter's. And that was using honey dust. (Aside: They REALLY know how to use honey dust getting and giving!!! Ahh, the memories...)

6) Activities included. No kissing, cbj, a true GFE. I had that girlfriend. She's now a librarian.

7) Several tattoos but not distracting. NO SHIT! If they're not on her face, and they're not glowing in the dark, how can they distract you from boinking?

8) After my first bell, we rested and chatted for 16 seconds and it was time for round two. Get real; do the time line. A normal one hour session goes about like this. 10-15 minutes of chatting or catching up. 30 minutes of play. 10-15 minutes of post play. Average recovery time after a bell is 20 minutes. If you can squeeze off 2 bells in an hour you're a freak of nature.

9) CBJ CIMNQNS in the activities. I've actually seen this one. No comments needed.

10) Her face is blurred in her pictures but she's much better looking in person. So you weren't drunk off your ass and could actually see her face when you met her?

These are just a few. If you have others, please add.

HID
the pragmatist's Avatar
"You mean you don't do daty unless her feet are pointing to the south? "

Actually, wouldn't her feet have to be pointing toward the north in order for you to travel south to the "Promised Land"?
Dragon_inc's Avatar
GFE???? If we were happy with what the GF or SO was giving we would not be looking for more. So should that be DGFE (Dream Girl Friend Experience)
kiki2012's Avatar
Lmao!!!!!!!!
Dick BadCock's Avatar
Proud freak of nature, here.
Classic stuff. HID! L'ingMAO

How about I will "definately" or "defiantly" see her again? Haaaaa

I need to get over there and donate some DFW money to the gals and the casinos. It's been too long!

I never tried to see Hooter or Rebecca but I had a friend who was way into them. I do remember he was either hooked on Honey Dust or had to go to rehab to quit smiling so much after eating it! LOL I didn't know whether to cry or smile when Rebecca wrote she would be retiring several years ago on March 34th.

As for my next visit to your neck of the woods, I'm not really into MM's that much but I'd damned sure make an exception to get up close and personal with as nice a set as Kiki2012 has. WOW! She looks like the "Total Package".
MuffinMan's Avatar
Bumping a 30 day old post = uncool.

Closed.