In a word? FOCUS. The lady being purely focused on me, not the clock, not the door wondering how soon she can leave, and having the ability to get ME to focus purely on her, not what the latest crisis at work needs, not how I'm gonna pay for that car repair. I'm there to forget the outside world for the duration of our appointment. A good lover helps me attain that by helping me focus on her to the exclusion of all else.
Originally Posted by RedLeg505
Most of the time I am fully there, but I admit I do sometimes space out ...then come back catching myself from drifting off completely. One thing I always do either when I am visiting the gentleman's place or hosting ...is to hide or turn away any visible clocks. Keeping track of time ruins the experience. And I have always preferred to be very generous with myself and time
I prefering my lover to have a mutually submissive relationship with me. Taking turns pleasing each other both emotional, and sexually.
To me a loving relations mean, I know what she wants, she knows what I want, and it is sustained. A true lover is not a flash in the pan.
An example was with an itimate session with my lover, we had already both climaxed, and we were resting, and we were cuddling. As we were gently kissing, I was able to reach around, behind her waist, and gently touched her clit. She inhaled, and I could tell the gentle pressure was perfect for her at that time. As we gently kissed, our tongues danced in a minuet. My finger hand was cupping her bum, and putting some pressure on her anus, and my finger was between her juicy lips, and stroking her ever so gently. In a beautiful tender moment, she climaxed in arms, gazing into each others eyes. She was breathless.
Upon regaining her breath and treasure the moment, I was hard again, and she climbed on top and we continued to make love for yet another hour.
Originally Posted by lostforkate
Funny you never struck me as a strong dominant personality. Though I cannot completely read a persons energy over the net ...only as much as they allow me to. I don't intrude
But you seem to be very well-balanced about it, you see the other person's needs. That is a very powerful tool
And I love the way you describe events, it's so sexy when a man can write in poetry
Okay, let's get back on track.
What makes a good lover?
1. Passion
2. Energy
3. Desire
4. Fire.
But all cylinders need to be working if you miss even one component, you miss it all.
Originally Posted by Fast Gunn
I got too much fire and energy - I need other outlets so I don't go insane
You already have the answer, Zabrina. Thank you for sharing it with us!
Originally Posted by tuckahoe
I have the answers but not always the directions on how to use it. This is all very new to me ...I'm learning
Passion, pure unbridled passion. Had a Sugar Baby, and we would literally attack each other in a frenzy, and then collapse on the bed when we were finished. I had some boxes stacked by the bed and they ended up everywhere.
Originally Posted by FlectiNonFrangi
I miss that
Zabrina -- you continue to fascinate me with your insightful questions and thoughts!
To the "Is it. . . " questions: Yes. All of the above.
RedLeg said it well with the concept of FOCUS. But at least one party needs to initiate. If no one starts it, it will not happen. If one waits for the other to start it, it will likely not happen. Answer: YOU start it, whichever one you are. It's not about who gets credit for starting it, it's about who benefits. Answer: Both.
I've read a lot of reviews in the few months since I resumed hobbying after many years. The majority of them have a lot of alphabet soup acronyms describing all the things the guy does to the girl to get himself off. I guess this is OK, if that’s your goal in life.
A minority of them also talk about what the guy does to help the lady get something from the experience.
Is this kind of stupid, because you, after all, are paying her for the service? I say, No, it is smart, if only for selfish reasons -- good for her, likely to be better for you, physically.
Even better than just smart -- if she can get something good physically, there is a better chance that she will have at least some positive emotional feeling about you. Which can result in a much more complete experience for everyone. So whether it's a one-time thing or if it continues for some period of time, I look at as being not just a better value for your money thing, but, rather, no longer a money thing at all.
"And how do you pay back such a lover?" If this is how you were affected, you have already more than "paid back" your lover. 
Originally Posted by StillKicking
you're a good influence on this board
