Screening and Provider References

So I had something happen yesterday that kind of surprised me, and I want to open a discussion about proper etiquette for screening and provider references.

I have seen some wonderful ladies on this board and elsewhere, and I have provided references when requested. But I have always made contact and asked permission before using someone as a reference. I always assumed that was expected, and it just seems the right way to handle things.

I am okay with light screening, and if someone asks for something I am not comfortable telling them then I simply won't, and I will let them know why. If they choose not to see me, I am fine with that too.

If someone doesn't ask, I don't offer a lot of extra information, nor will I give references out unless I am asked for them. But I really don't expect a woman to contact providers I have reviewed without asking me about references first. I am sure it probably happens when the two ladies know each other, but in that case I really don't expect to find out about it at all.

I am okay with that too, anything that makes the hobby safer for all involved, is good for all of us.

The incident that provoked this involved someone contacting two providers I reviewed for references without asking me first. Then asking about the wrong user name with predictable results, and cancelling on me at the last minute with an insulting text.

I think maybe some discussion about what to expect as appropriate screening and how to handle references would be helpful. I am out of line for being a little upset by this?

I myself think a good provider will look at reviews that were written by me, and do their own homework. like contacting them to see what they have to say about me. I might have my favorite's and only use them to give a reference, but it is also up to the provider to check out other providers, so they can build that trust factor between each other.
So I don't mind if a provider checks on me with other providers, it's for their safety. Now if I was trying to hide something like a fake review, and I never saw that provider, but posted a great review to keep my PA, and that got out that would really suck. I am sure that would never happen on this site.
I have never written a fake review I don't need too.

When it comes to screening by other providers, it is usually customary for the provider to ask something like "how would this provider know you?" Be it a nickname, conversation, personality trait or whatever and THEN linking that info with your screen name, name given and number normally helps a provider determine if she is talking about the right person and ask brief question(s) about this person.

One can not assume that just because you had a good time with a lady, that she will agree and vouch for you when called upon by providers. Also, some providers can be territorial about their clients... getting an unexpected call asking about you could cause such a provider to cut you off.

All that aside, I think most screening should be done like job references. "Do you know this person? Would you hire them again? Is there anything else you'd like to add?"

Sucks to be thrown under the bus by a provider who doesn't screen properly and mistakes you for someone less appealing. However, fortunately, there are more women out there who know how to do things and screening is part of what they know how to do.

If I want to see a certain provider that requires references, I always check with my references first. That way, my references and I are on the same page and can expect another woman contacting them about me. I give the woman I want to see the links to my references for easy contact. Always thought it was the polite and professional way to handle it, but hell, what do I know.

That is a great idea JS42. I usually just give the name and phone number. I have a couple ladies I see on a regular basis that are not territorial and we have an understanding that I use them as a reference and they are cool with it. I don't ask them to be exclusive (don't want that in my life right now), they shouldn't expect it either.

Besides from what I have been told, I am an easy client to see. I am polite, respectful, don't haggle on price, don't ask for extras or exceptions (bbbj vs cbj) or god forbid bbfs (some guys must be nuts). I don't try to pound them for a full hour, don't DATY with providers (personal choice), full hour - want a double pop.That is pretty much it. If they are into kissing, great. If not, okay. Do my business, make things comfortable for the lady and head on down the road a little before my time is up, unless they ask me to stay a bit longer to hang out (it happens from time to time). With that kind of profile I don't have much problem with passing a reference check.

To my knowledge I never had a provider check with girls I did a review on. But, assuming my profile is consistent with all providers I might not know either, unless the girl giving the reference told me. And that has never happened.

I would love to add a few points from an old provider! LOL

I ask for references and I understand they may give me the names of other providers that know I am calling or emailing. I would expect any guy to give me good references.Sometimes, if it is a last minute appoitment request, I will contact a few additional girls who have been reviewed so that I can increase the chance of a reply or two.

P411 is interesting, because even when I girl gives an okay, I will still check with that girl to see if there is anything extra I should know... size, likes, personailty, etc. This gives me something to go on in the way I will interact with the person when I see them.

If a provider says he is a great guy who loves to kiss and kiss... then I can meet that need and E doesn't even suspect I am one step ahead of the game. It is pretty much forbidden to talk sex and money with a potential client, but I can get some of that info from another provider! Then I am not surprised if he wants multi-pops because I can help time all that out!

BTW, if I do decide that the appointment is not going to happen, I try to be professional and never insulting.

Smooch!

Lea

Kcphotoguy,

The way I see it, you were asked for references and you provided references. If the provider needed more material to get you screened, she should have asked you. I agree with you in what you consider the right way to handle things.

If I could give any advice to new providers, it would be to stop justifying your actions and pause for a brief fucking second long enough to listen to what your fellow providers are saying, telling, and recommending.

Clients don't deserve to have their name/handle thrown under the bus and sent via PM to however many providers out there, result of a providers "gut" feeling. That is bullshit.

An esteemed provider said it best, "He didn't stalk you, stand you up, threaten you, leave you dirty messages, short you, over stay, waste your time, or do Anything inappropriate verbally or physically."

Something I firmly believe is if providers expect clients to provide as much notice as possible when something comes up that may interfere on their end… We providers should be returning the same courtesy. It is unfortunate this courtesy was not extended your direction. I would be very pissed off if I were you.

I would be open and honest and share my experience accurately. Others deserve to know what happened to you could happen to them as well.

Sucks to be thrown under the bus by a provider who doesn't screen properly and mistakes you for someone less appealing. Originally Posted by AllThisMeat

I always enjoy some good irony.

If I could give any advice to new providers, it would be to stop justifying your actions and pause for a brief fucking second long enough to listen to what your fellow providers are saying, telling, and recommending.

Clients don't deserve to have their name/handle thrown under the bus and sent via PM to however many providers out there, result of a providers "gut" feeling. That is bullshit.

An esteemed provider said it best, "He didn't stalk you, stand you up, threaten you, leave you dirty messages, short you, over stay, waste your time, or do Anything inappropriate verbally or physically." Originally Posted by PleasantSurprise

This was shared in a provider only area and should not have been referred to in this thread. Regardless of whether she was in the right or wrong, this should have stayed private. You can respond to the OP's thread without quoting things said in private areas.

This was shared in a provider only area and should not have been referred to in this thread. Regardless of whether she was in the right or wrong, this should have stayed private. You can respond to the OP's thread without quoting things said in private areas. Originally Posted by Allie_Kat

I wonder with pleasant surprise not having reviews why she is concidered a verified provider... So pleasent suprise does not need to provide anything exept her expert opinion which is half the time wrong IMO just to be concidered a provider??

I agree with you Allie, except the only part in my post that was quoted from a private area is this part:

An esteemed provider said it best, "He didn't stalk you, stand you up, threaten you, leave you dirty messages, short you, over stay, waste your time, or do Anything inappropriate verbally or physically." Originally Posted by PleasantSurprise

I'm not sure what makes it significant enough to stay in private. The quote is a fact, clients in general who the quote applies to are not worthy of an alert.

I won't argue any points I am given for posting the above quote, it's a valid point that applies across the board. Any provider considering posting an alert should take the quote into consideration, and she should have to come up with a little more grounds to stand on. As always, I think it is best to attack a situation and not a person.

At what point does it become acceptable for a provider to go around PMing someones handle when no harm or foul was done?

I apologize for being too straightforward in my responses. I will try to tread a little more lightly when replying to select handles.

I wonder with pleasant surprise not having reviews why she is concidered a verified provider... So pleasent suprise does not need to provide anything exept her expert opinion which is half the time wrong IMO just to be concidered a provider?? Originally Posted by b@ileythepistol

Any two of the following will work

1) reviews
2) website/advertising site
3) a referral from either a provider/hobbist

All it takes for any of us to give an opinion Bailey, is to simply be a member.

The opinions do not bother me... The fact this person who is not providing is allowed access to women's areas is what I don't understand. They are not helping with giving references or advertising so why not keep them stuck with just the general areas of the site?

The opinions do not bother me... The fact this person who is not providing is allowed access to women's areas is what I don't understand. They are not helping with giving references or advertising so why not keep them stuck with just the general areas of the site? Originally Posted by b@ileythepistol

Because, if you would have read the previous post by growler, you would have seen that:

She has a website (and is listed as a VP on P411) and;
She probably had a fellow provider vouch for her or a hobbyist or a combination of the two.

Go to PleasantSurprise's profile page. She has her website as her home page. VP status requires a minimum of those two specifics to have access to those private areas. Much harder to get access to the ladies-only areas than it it to get access to the men-only areas.

I just find it ironic and amusing that PS refers to a provider 'throwing a client under the bus' when by my count this is her third post in which she has thrown a provider under the bus.

PS, it really isn't good form to suggest that we not attack a person, but rather the situation, when you've posted twice in the past few days doing exactly that.