Fancy's Top Ten Benefits of Pussy Over Smoking

This is buried in another thread ("Starting a new low end agency for not so wealthy clients," very funny), but I got a slew of messages suggesting I share my demented humor and post the list here, perhaps giving a few more people a laugh. Here ya go.


"I don't smoke but was curious, so looked it up. Ye Gods, the average for a name-brand carton can be upwards of $60, by pack up to $8. The government is proposing to add more taxes that will make smoking even more expensive. Then there's the risk of cancer, stroke, emphysema, yada, yada, yada. So, with that in mind....."

Fancy's Top Ten Benefits of Pussy Over Smoking:

10. Tastes better.

9. Won't stain your teeth.

8. Doesn't have negative second-hand effects for bystanders. They'll actually enjoy being present.

7. Arguably costs less, depending on your choice of BP generic or ECCIE name brand.

6. Bragging to your friends, "I smoked a pack today," doesn't have near the impact of, "I licked a pussy today."

5. Cigarettes never say, "You're the best I ever had!"

4. Pussy burns calories. Smoking burns brain cells.

3. Withdrawal from pussy just means sex is over. Withdrawal from cigarettes is a REAL bitch.

2. Wouldn't you rather have your stick in a mouth instead of a stick in your mouth?


And the #1 reason pussy is better than cigarettes:

Eat pussy, save your lungs. Breathe better, eat pussy longer.

Lol. Very interesting! I think I'll quit. Smoking that is!

I'm starting my own anti-smoking campaign. Happy to help gentlemen kick that bad habit and start another one.

and you don't have to go outside for pussy

I never smoked before, butt Damn, light that baby up

I'm starting my own anti-smoking campaign. Happy to help gentlemen kick that bad habit and start another one. Originally Posted by Fancyinheels

You're a very naughty woman in a very good way !

There should be more chewing while eating.

More reasons why eating pussy is better than smoking:

Eating pussy in bed is not a fire hazard

it involves 2 people (the licker and lickee) so you have a friend with you

if you go camping, eating pussy will not risk a forest fire

You can eat pussy in the shower, hot tub etc.... try smoking with all that water around.

Eating pussy is not regulated by the government (the tobacco industry is)

Never got into smoking. I do have a pussy addiction!

Eating pussy is not regulated by the government (the tobacco industry is) Originally Posted by Capt. Lincoln F. Stern

Depends on the State you're in!