A question for the ladies

Hello all
'm new to this site but not new to the hobby. My adventures have typically been far from home. I live in a small town with a big employer. Everybody knows everybody. Therefore it was just easier to play away from town. My typical pattern is to look for providers, make an introduction to see if there is interest, communicate through e mail, make a date, enjoy the date and then delete all evidence. Never new about references. Neither asking for one or giving one. Until I came on this site and have had to play closer to home. I've enjoyed the company of some nice ladies but while I know they are on this site, I don't believe they know I'm on this site.
So, maybe I'm over thinking this thing but I really want to hear from you ladies on how you feel when asked to give a reference for one of your friends. When you get a request from another provider, do you see them as competition? Do you see them as intruding on your income source? Are you pissed at the guy that is looking at someone else? If you do give a reference, are you likely to make it rough on the guy next time you see him? I think you can understand what I'm talking about, I'm thinking that I need to come out of the closet so to speak. (I'm not gay, but I'm pretty sure I', lesbian). However, I'm uncertain about asking a lady I've been with to be willing to provide me with a reference. I'm not looking to upset, piss off, or hurt anybody. I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with her. I'm just a curious guy who would like to try new things.
So ladies, let me and all the other guys know what you really think. Please take this serious. If you don't want to post it, PM me
Help a guy out. Or I'm staying in the closet

Why is this area so quiet? I got one PM and that's all. I bet if I posted this in the Dallas area, I'd have a pile of responses. Heck, there I'd get all kinds of goof responses from some of the guys also. What's going on in New Mexico?

I think there is more of a bond among hobbyists (?) than providers. Providers tend to see it as a job. That someone's taking their paycheck. But the main common interest amongst hobbyers (someone help me), is they want variety. I try and give good references but I usually just see it as a chance to get in some panties. I know, I know, not professional. But damn idk how anyone could hold it against me.

Well, I’m not one of the ladies but let me take a stab at your two questions:

First, the New Mexico one. The reality is NM just doesn’t have a lot of people. DFW, Houston, and the Austin/San Antonio areas each have more people than the whole state of New Mexico. Add to it that this site is focused on Texas, and it becomes an unfortunate reality that New Mexico is a hinterland of Eccie. The last straw is that NM is not a hotspot of the business even outside of Eccie. Average income is low, LE is misguided about the priority of escorting vs meth, and there is only one decent sized population center. Add it all together and this corner of the board is not likely to ever be highly active. Fortunately many of the basic issues—such as your question—are the same no matter where you are.

Second, as to your specific question, I believe most ladies would say, “Oh, I don’t mind giving out references.” And on one level I believe that is true: they understand that references are one of the very best ways for them to stay safe. But I also believe that for many of them there is a tinge of jealousy. On a “logical” level the “other” lady is taking a bit of their business. On an emotional level no pretty young lady likes to be de facto told, “I’d rather spend time with this other pretty young lady”.

Fortunately for me I travel a lot, and I try to use a lady in DC as my reference to see a lady in New Mexico, etc. It is more likely that the lady in DC will not see “her” as competition, since her commuting range is not likely to extend out a couple thousand miles. Additionally it minimizes (but does not eliminate) the chances that the two ladies already know each other and have some “issues” between them. In the past I was more careless about this and occasionally would ask “Sue” for a reference to see “Mary”, and got a note from Sue basically telling me why I was making a mistake seeing Mary.

Your profile says you are near Los Alamos. Obviously Albuquerque is the nearest decent sized city, but Denver is a comfortable overnight trip as well. You might think about seeing a lady or two in Denver (there are some very well regarded ladies there) and using them as your references for NM ladies, and the reverse.

For me it seems to have worked, and I really prefer to avoid hurting someone if I can.

Hope this helps a little. Also sending you a PM.

Agree with Old-T. I'd add to that, it's appropriate to ask providers if they are OK providing you references. If they are, and if you think they'll provide a favorable reference, then look for ways to help them. Submitting reviews is a good way to do that. This helps their exposure and marketability. Tipping well is another way to engender good will, as is the simple courtesy of thanking the provider for the reference. Also, if I know another hobbyist who might be a good client for a provider, I may try to facilitate that exchange. So it can work both ways. Recognize that providers who are willing to offer you a favorable reference are doing you a favor.

While some providers may be territorial or jealous, probably more so among those who are locally based, as clients part of what we're paying for is the freedom of feeling guilty, pressured or manipulated. If you're worried about providers being jealous, don't use them as a reference, but make sure your worries on the matter aren't misplaced.

Verification services are a great way to establish a book of references. P411 is reliably discreet and professional. If you ever use a provider who uses a booking agent, treat the booking agent or assistant well. They can be great resources. All you need are two or three reliable references.

Echoing Old-T's comment, clients and providers are both looking for a safe environment in which to operate. Providing references is a very normal and safe practice, which should supersede jealously and territorial interests.

I hope this response is helpful, and least as help as what you might otherwise find out of Amarillo, Texas.

Getting some great responses. I think I'll keep mum with locals and get reference with the ladies traveling through or ladies I meet when I travel. I really appreciate the answers. Glad I'm not the only one who is at least sensitive to the whole issue. I do like variety but I can't help not wanting to upset anyone. I really like you ladies who can send my senses into overdrive. I would never try to get on your bad side. And finally to Jaded; If I ever get out your way, I don't have panties, but you can get into them any time you want. Thanks!

I'm pretty sure if you don't make it my way I'll be making it your way before too long. There's gotta be some panties we can get into somewhere!!

I'm pretty sure if you don't make it my way I'll be making it your way before too long. There's gotta be some panties we can get into somewhere!! Originally Posted by jayded_angel

Given the limited number of ladies in NM, I suspect you will do well if you travel out that way.

I'm pretty sure if you don't make it my way I'll be making it your way before too long. There's gotta be some panties we can get into somewhere!! Originally Posted by jayded_angel

Holy Cow! I bout jumped outa my shortes when I seen that!


I suspect that, given an opportunity, I will seize the day.

Given the limited number of ladies in NM, I suspect you will do well if you travel out that way. Originally Posted by Old-T

Dang, "George" just stood up at attention! Hope you make it out here and I'll make sure I got some panties under my boxers.

Dang, "George" just stood up at attention! Hope you make it out here and I'll make sure I got some panties under my boxers. Originally Posted by Hermosa

Hold on to your panties, hell im still trynna meet this purdy lil thing and im from her home state. Its like trying to catch a snipe, elusive. Lol

Lmfao. I think that has to be one of my favorite movies swift. I wouldnt say im elusive tho. Id say I end up tied up or on detours alot tho. SQUIRREL!!

Well if I ever, just by chance, happen to be on one of your detour routes,,, ill make sure n have a caged squirrel to catch your attention and will be wearing my half eaten editable panties while I swiftly remove yours.

Well now how'm I supposed to know where u are sir? Jus look for the sexy stud n half eatn panties holdin' a squirrel?

Well now how'm I supposed to know where u are sir? Jus look for the sexy stud n half eatn panties holdin' a squirrel? Originally Posted by jayded_angel

That should work. There can't be too many like that standing on the street corner, even in Oklahoma.