Why is it that some of you can act like the biggest asses sometimes on the board but

Are as sweet as kittens in person? I am not going to name any names! Don't worry. I wouldn't want to ruin tha Bad boy thing yall got going! There have been a few guys that I thought were the biggest jerks on the board and they turned out to be nice people. One of them... turned into a great friend of mine. We have never seen each other BCD, but I go to bars, ufc fights, brunch, dinner etc. with him and we always go dutch. Or he buys me a round, I pick up the tab sometimes. He is always a perfect gentleman and never tries to hit on me.. strictly platonic. He is also now in a commited relationship. You get the idea.

So, why do people do this? Who are you? The kitten that hides under the facade of an asshole? Or the asshole who plays kitten, in person, just to gain whatever he wants, whatever that may be. Or is it something else? Bravado? Machismo? Had a Bad fucking day?

What is the something else? Something that happens to the kitten that pisses him off, so he turns into asshole mode for an outlet? I really like to believe in the good of people. Ecspecially after becoming friends with a colorful character here. That shower me just how different people can be off/on the board.

What really creeps me out are the quiet nice ones with handles like Dahmmer though! Kidding sort of. Same goes for people who seem REALLY nice on the board. They can turn out to be quite unpleasant at times.

Respectfully and quite seriously curious,

Scarlett
knotty man's Avatar
guess alotta people can actually be a teddy bear to you, once you actually know them
I think the assholes just harbor a lot of fears and other gross feelings and over time those emotions have a tendency to rot into anger. Anger has a shitty habit of transference. If someone feels fearful of being undesirable, has bruises from being shit-upon from past partners, or just hates that s/he doesn't fall into the cultural norms of an acceptable, desirable person, they get mean and are OK on throwing that out. This is a place where anger can easily turn into some sort of fucked-up power trip. We're supposed to take it because we accept the cash. I think that's the drill at least. Perhaps the ones who realize that it's all a sham are the ones who feel OK about hiding behind a name.

The people who fall into this category are already getting defensive and think that I'm full of shit, but whatever. I just wrote this in an email to another provider who I've had the privilege of spending several hours with OTC before a trio, but it bears repeating in this instance. My favorite clients are those who radiate goodness. No, really. I don't care what you look like, I care how you act and how you think of me. I've dated both ridiculously attractive men and those who have led my friends to sit me down and say "umm...you know you can do better right?" Actual attraction, chemistry, great sex doesn't have a lot to do with physical appearance, status in life, money in the bank, etc. If you walk into my door with a giant smile on your face, a great attitude, and you kiss me like you think I'm adorable, I will kiss you the hell right back with just as much vigor. Love begets love, y'all.

My favorite client when I worked in Boston (I had a different stage name, which is why I'm OK with revealing this) was a morbidly obese 45yo. Sure, I wouldn't have fucked him if I would have met him at work, at a bar, or wherever, but I am so happy that I had the opportunity to fuck him. He had an amazing touch, he looked at me like I was the goddamn head cheerleader, and our conversation post-pop was intimate, loving, and enlightening. I loved seeing his name on the books when I clocked-in at the agency and I always had a warm, sincere grin on my face the entire day after he left.

This isn't exactly on topic, but it seemed to fit. And if it helps, I dated an ASPD troll for a few years and I still think of him as one of my best friends. He didn't hobby much, but he was fascinated by this place, as am I, so he dicked around on here. We still disagree about many things even though we love one another deeply and for reals, and I'm sure if he were active here I'd probably be bitching at him on a weekly basis without realizing it was him.
David.Douchehurst's Avatar
Y'all think too goddamned much. If'n all you scallywags just got down to some serious fucking' and a-suckin', ya'll wouldn't have enuff time for this shit to clog yer minds.
Y'all think too goddamned much. If'n all you scallywags just got down to some serious fucking' and a-suckin', ya'll wouldn't have enuff time for this shit to clog yer minds. Originally Posted by David.Douchehurst
I have to politely disagree just a bit. If you concede that the average provider has 6 appointments a week whereas the average hobbyist has 1 appointment every 6-12 weeks (I just made these numbers up for the sake of my argument) it would make sense that the ladies put a lot more thought into all of this than the gents. I know that there's a common thought that women over-think all things related to sex/romance/relationships, but in these scenarios it's paying the bills vs. getting off. I would expect a chef at a restaurant I visit give more thought to creating my dish than I give in enjoying it, my mechanic give more thought into my transmission than I give in to worrying about it, and my doctor have more schooling about my lady-bits than I have information about sex-safety, birth control, etc. It's not merely a hobby for many of the girls involved.
David.Douchehurst's Avatar
If'n the kid flippin' my burger spends any time at all wonderin' why perfectly civil people at church act like persnickety assholes when they show up at the drive-thru, then the l'il turd ain't flippin' my burger fast enuff. And the l'il sumbitch better not get my order wrong either. I said mustard, no mayo, dammit ta hell!
Iron Butterfly's Avatar
Isn’t Austin becoming one of the premier places for actors and entertainment, so as the OP mentioned it is mostly an act and entertainment.
This has been a long and hard fight for this board and many other boards, it is human nature to ruffle feathers, poke the beehive and run. Some will say its so childish and some will say its immaturity. But I really think that it is the nature of a posting board that persona are created, acts acted out and are performed and entertainment is sought out. Boredom can contribute to the acts of cruelty. Some people are just mean, but like you said in the real world face to face or BCD they are sweet hearts. Do they want people to think that, NO bad boys are cool, James Dean, Elvis, Darth Vader, and many more are a part of our culture.

I think you ladies really know the answer to this and you do realize what we have here. We have a bunch of hot and beautiful ladies, at the disposal of the man, the primal cave man that swings a big stick and says mine. Banter comes in many way, it can be fun, it can be flirty and it can be harsh. Many of good members or characters here on this board have left and they choose not to be a part of this act. Some just pop in and maintain enough persona to keep there hobby alive, some don’t need the act at all and some just want to watch and be entertained.
You know many a white knight has come to this board and jousting battles have been played out in the court of kings. Part of this whole thing can also be a way of courtship, flirting comes in many forms.

Yes some conduct themselves as true gentlemen and they get by just fine, they don’t have much of a presence but they get by, and sometimes they get pranked and teased, but after all it is just a posting board. So the best one can do is saddle up there horse, tighten there belt, shine there shoes and head out for the adventure. The truly cruel and mean people I would think would not last in this hobby because you ladies would not put up with them.



IB
Even kittens will strike with claws and bite your ass ! Tell me you've never had a kitten you were petting , it's purring , then wham claws in the arm and biting the most tender spot ! Ohhhhh but how cute it's playing !

Guess it all really comes down to what you think is asshole ?
Some consider me one , but pm box , and ease of scheduling tells me that is eclipsed .

I think I'd worry more about the kittens who turn into assholes .
onei's Avatar
  • onei
  • 09-15-2013, 07:32 AM
Here's the reason (IMHO):
I've been part of discussion boards for well over 15 years and this is the case on every board, regardless the nature of the board. I think the main reason is because there is not any human interaction on the board. It's too easy to hide behind a keyboard and say what you will, because after you hit "send" you can walk away. Others just like to "stir the pot". They get a kick out of seeing how many reply to their comment. Social media has brought out the best and worst of all people. Once there is actual flesh and blood, one-on-one interaction, we tend to go back to what we do best, and that is to treat others with respect (at least some do that).
Here's the reason (IMHO):
I've been part of discussion boards for well over 15 years and this is the case on every board, regardless the nature of the board. I think the main reason is because there is not any human interaction on the board. It's too easy to hide behind a keyboard and say what you will, because after you hit "send" you can walk away. Others just like to "stir the pot". They get a kick out of seeing how many reply to their comment. Social media has brought out the best and worst of all people. Once there is actual flesh and blood, one-on-one interaction, we tend to go back to what we do best, and that is to treat others with respect (at least some do that). Originally Posted by onei
In other words trolling
Iron Butterfly's Avatar
In other words trolling Originally Posted by VforVendetta
Bingo

IB
RALPHEY BOY's Avatar
because we can or they can.. I used to be an instigator on the P for many years, ...

so many times a Proivder would say after she met me was, " you are so nice and sweet in person, not anything like your board persona"... ..

that may be part of it, plus its the internet, easy to hide behind that shadow
It's too easy to hide behind a keyboard and say what you will, because after you hit "send" you can walk away. Others just like to "stir the pot". They get a kick out of seeing how many reply to their comment. Social media has brought out the best and worst of all people. Originally Posted by onei
+1
I think the assholes just harbor a lot of fears and other gross feelings and over time those emotions have a tendency to rot into anger. Anger has a shitty habit of transference. If someone feels fearful of being undesirable, has bruises from being shit-upon from past partners, or just hates that s/he doesn't fall into the cultural norms of an acceptable, desirable person, they get mean and are OK on throwing that out. This is a place where anger can easily turn into some sort of fucked-up power trip. We're supposed to take it because we accept the cash. I think that's the drill at least. Perhaps the ones who realize that it's all a sham are the ones who feel OK about hiding behind a name. Originally Posted by JennsLolli
+1
too much talkie mr penguin......name that movie....