i need a little advice from you all about a couple things. i've never really felt like this before. so this i were i seek advice from you all. (i almost feel like im adding drama to the board, but im just lost and confused about this. its not like i can discuss with my bestie lol )
situation 1:
i want to publicly apologize to an old boyfriend. appearantly, i had to reschedule 3 appointments with him in a 2 year period. (in my "real" job, ive missed about that many days in a 1yr period just to being sick alone.) however, in hobbyland...im learning that is unacceptable. and upon my return, i have apologized again. and offered a very discounted session to redeem whenever. i understand, due to me having to reschedule 3appts in a 2yr period, his not wanting to see me. totally understand. hes a great guy, and if reference needed, id absolutely provide one for him.
Does this make me a bad provider? (all honesty, good or bad is appreciated. i learned this is unacceptable. i acknowledge my fault. and want to make sure i correct it)
situation 2:
i met a gent. had a couple conversations/emails, even a meeting. him being uneasy about us meeting, mixed with him being one of my first few boyfriends, made me uneasy. i didnt know if le was just reeling this newbie/naive provider in. our 1st appointment, i completely got scared. my gut feeling was telling me this isnt right. his was too uneasy/nervous about things. (i know, NOT good at all!!) However, i have made all appointments with him. even offered to cover the expense of the playroom he paid for (for our 1st meeting that i missed) as well as discounted sessions.
now present day, upon my return...i wondered how he was doing. (i "thought" we had built a friendship), read up on his post on various topics. however most seem to be negative about his experiences in the hobby. i sent him a message, and just asked how he was doing. didnt seem like he was having much fun. well after a few brief messages, he wanted to hang out again on mon. BUT i am to wait until i hear from him sun. night to schedule something. ok, no biggie. didnt hear from him. same thing mon. wanted to schedule for tues, but wanted me to wait until mon night to schedule. (i, thought i had class on tues. until someone told me id be the only one there. class started on wed.) so let him know that i would in fact be able to play tues. didnt hear from him. no biggie. wed comes around, and he wants me to be on standby. now im starting to wonder: does he really wanna schedule, or is he getting some sort of kick out of this. i only advertised id play on thurs, but considered playing on my "off" days with him. wed, no meeting. i get a message today. wants to play. ask that i call him. honestly, I was reluctant (bc of these other "on call requests"). BUT, i called him (enjoyed our time spent). no answer. sent him a pm, let him know i called. his response, thats funny, i dont have any missed calls. play later?
i feel like for some reason he has it out for me. i dont know what i could have possibly done wrong, besides the 1st appointment. ive fulfilled his "requests", ive tried to make self available when i wouldnt ordinarily be. i just dont get it. does it sound like he has intentions to play with me, or just doing this for kicks? or maybe, real world just took over? (and im reading too much into it)
in the 1st situation, i had to reschedule 3 appoints in 2yrs, and wasnt acceptable. is it acceptable for 3-4 days in a row something comes up? or is it the double standard, that hobbyist have lives (as if providers dont) and we are to jump through hoops .
im really stumped. "my" missed appointment happened awhile ago. im trying to make good what i did bad with the 1st gent. and thats the reason for this agology. with the 2nd gent, i dont know what i couldve done wrong to him.
i know this may "hurt" my reputation on the board, but hey..im only human & needed your opinions. and i know this is super long. so thanks to those that have read my novel.
i dont keep those kind of notes. 
