Seeking Xmas card ideas

Tis the season!

I hate xmas but Im trying to be positive and get into the spirit of the holidays this year. Im thinking of creating a custom xmas card to send out. It has to be funny, twisted, and a little risqué. Wanted to see if you guys had any ideas for me. I have no problem using my wheelchair or lack of walking as a joke either, lol.

Im a bit cynical, but using the wheelchair even in jest might make it a bit awkward .
How about fun fact?
Not many people know that Good ole saint nick is the saint of prositutes. Lol

http://mentalfloss.com/article/15857...-patron-saints

Then maybe signing the card with merry Xmas bitches!

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