I will start with I have been accused of:
1. being sofia

2. being paul

3. being a "fucking newbie"

4. a kidnapped individual with a gun to my head!

5. My favorite of all is every morning I get accused by the man in the mirror of being "A handsome devil!"

#5 is my favorite and the most accurate!
I wouldn't mind being called Boardman, he seems to have a new kitty everyday!