Defining "Hobby" Moment

So, I am reading the book, "Buy the Hour: Misadventures of a Modern Working Girl" by Alex Lieberman.

In the book, she mentions being faced with a fork in her road of life, her defining moment. It was the moment she decided to try escorting as a way to pay her mounting bills due to a failing economy.

It made me think back. I actually remembered the exact moment years ago when I had my defining moment that would forever change my life. Since then, I've been in ant out of many sides of the sex work industry.

Like Alex, my decision was based primarily on a financial need and my desire to accomplish a bigger goal (graduate school). I decided on the way back from checking out a school in Florida, that I simply was not going to be able to afford to pursue my dream without doing something extreme.

Because I had been involved in the Swinging lifestyle for a few years, it wasn't a huge stretch. But one that did change my life.

It was my first defining hobby moment. If others decide to chime in, I'll add another big one...

So, do you remember the moment you decided to enter Hobbyland? Decided to leave it? Decided you were doing something wrong and changed your ways? Found your ATF and shrieked EUREKA!"

I'm curious to hear from you!

So, I would say it started with some spiritual questioning. I had been raised in a very religious conservative family and bought into most of what they were selling until my mid 30s. I started reading and looking at the world and seeing that what was held up to me as the ideal was vary rarely actually occurring, and as I studied further, I realized that it was very possible that the sexual values and ideals most likely came from a desire to protect bloodlines and property rights, mostly to further class distinctions and reinforce authority. I began to wonder what I was missing out on, and started dipping my toes in the water at strip clubs, enjoying the fantasy moments of pleasure in a lady's arms.

I should say that at the time I was also dealing with personal and professional turbulence, and the fantastical escapes were part of my coping mechanism. I was drawn in and then got caught by the SO, ended up going to Sexaholics Anonymous, trying to be someone I was not.

I gave it a go, but could never achieve anything close to what they would call sobriety. I researched the idea of sexual addiction and found that the research is quite unclear that there is such a thing as sexual addiction. I came to believe that we are the way we are, and it is foolish to strive to defeat our nature.

Eventually, I made my way to a massage parlor intending only to get a handjob, and the lovely Asian lady slid herself onto me. I thought of saying no but the words did not come out. And, contrary to what I had been told all my life, nothing bad happened.

I enjoyed myself immensely, was not covered with guilt and shame, and my unit did not fall off. From there, it was on. I have sampled several ladies and had mostly positive experiences.

I feel like now I have caught up on some of what I missed out on as a younger man due to misguided moral strictures, and I don't hobby as much anymore. I see one of my favorites when she comes to town, but most of the time I feel less interested in being screened, driving to an incall somewhere while looking over my shoulder, never sure exactly what to expect.

I still look over Eccie more often than I should, hoping to find someone who captures my interest, but more often than not, I talk myself out of it rather quickly. There is my story.

Thank you so much for sharing, Meer. It's always an interesting journey...

For me it wasn’t much of a journey interesting or otherwise deciding to become a working girl. I have another business that generates income in a very irregular, saw tooth-type pattern so a regular income stream suited my needs. My bestie at the time was already working and was a big help with the advice she game me. It was an easy decision for me, and I’ve never looked back. I very much enjoyed my experiences and life in the demimonde.

I need to download Alex’s book. I thought her blog was a hoot, though I don’t think she enjoyed her time in the demimonde.

Thanks for weighing in, Olivia. The book is great and nicely written. I hope you enjoy it as I did.

I'm still trying to find the defining moment when 'mongering' became 'hobbying'.

My defining hobby moment was more of a realization and a gradual acceptance that, especially for a man, monogamy is a societal construct not a biological imperative. In fact it goes very much against nature and our hormonal drive to "spread our seed" in my opinion.

It became clear to me that the answer was either to deny myself one of life's great pleasures or find a way to partake in a manner that least impacts my otherwise vanilla life.

A girlfriend on the side is far too messy and time consuming. A SugarBaby presents its own potential set of pitfalls. The hobby is perfect as it allows anonymity, sexual freedom, and no emotional entanglements.

If I had to pick a moment in particular it would probably be the first time I went to the Amsterdam Red Light District. I walked the streets and gawked like all the other horny tourists at the half naked women behind the glass doors and just remember feeling free. Free from societal norms.

Also, the freedom to select any one of the hundreds of ladies available just in those few streets alone was amazing. I realized that was a small glimpse into what attractive women feel every day, namely the ability to almost freely select their sexual partner. Very few men, myself included, ever experience that outside the hobby. It is a liberating experience.

That was the beginning of my hobby life some 15+ years ago and though I've had periods of more activity than others both with a SO and without, I've never felt a single pang of guilt nor remorse. For me, when I have an SO I'd feel guilty having an emotional relationship with another woman but never a sexual one. Its arguably one of the most pure and natural thing in the world.

Don't have much time to post proper reply to OP myself, but wanted to say: Great posts by all, esp SpiceItUp.

Simply decided to have some fun from time to time, while on a journey to find a Muse.
I had one once, but didn't realize that, until long after our life paths had diverged.
Since then I've been lucky enough to meet friends that are on their own journeys.
And when we compare notes, we smile.

Than you for posting the question M'Lady.

For the past 30+ years I have literally lived out of a suitcase more than not. Probably averaged 200 days a year on the road for work. I enjoy the work, but it has an inevitable toll on other aspects of life. I found myself taking work “home” to the hotel rooms on a regular basis and putting in regular 70 hour weeks, more like 85 if you counted all the airplane time. I was getting burned out both physically and mentally, but I didn’t want to quit the line of work--and the line of work demands those kind of hours.

For myself I discovered that the best elixir was to “force” myself to take an evening every week or two to relax in the company of a delightful, interesting lady. It was amazing how quickly the cure worked, and I have been applying it for three decades plus.

At first I intended it to be part enjoyable activities with a sexy young lady, and part a forced break from reviewing technical documents until 2 AM. Soon I discovered that if I did my homework (much easier to do now than it was pre-internet) there was so much more to the good ladies in this business than just play time in bed. I started looking for the “courtesans” [yes, I do intend on commenting in that thread as well]. I started to redefine what I wanted in terms of mental, social, and physical. I met ladies who encompass all three, and who introduced me to people, places, and things I would never have experienced. And I haven’t looked back—though as I age I have become more selective, and more interested in growing the friendships I have already made.

Thank you OLD-T, U-C, and Mr SpicyPants for your great comments.

Hooking up with beautiful escorts with no strings attached whenever hobbyists can. Hobbyists enjoy all lovely escorts.Escorts gotta eat!

I want to get RV start brothel on wheels travel states.

Stumbled on ASPD years ago and saw the pics of the beautiful girls and just couldn't believe they would crawl in bed naked with old me.

So I made an appointment but told her: Hey, I'm 52 years old. Is that too old?
Her reply: I love men your age...come to me...I can't wait to show you a great time!

I saw her and I would say that was my defining moment...still can't believe these girls get naked with me for hot sex...

Mine was on one of many trip to Sydney. I was alone and bored in the hotel room and googled "things to do in Sydney". It was just happenstance that one thing was to get an erotic massage. I found one to be just around the corner from my hotel. I somehow managed to get up the nerve to go and, the rest as they say, is history...

There were obvious reasons I was interested in the first place given my vanilla sex life otherwise. I was looking for something beyond the same routine, same day, same way with the SO. I still struggle w/ the fact I do it in secret but the alternative of fights and vanilla sex with little passion is not one I can go back to.