Older Woman

SHE WALKED UP AND TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE HITCHING POST.

AS SHE STOOD THERE, BRUSHING SOME OF THE DUST FROM HER FACE

AND CLOTHES, A YOUNG GUNSLINGER STEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON

WITH A GUN IN ONE HAND AND A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY IN THE OTHER.

THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER LOOKED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND LAUGHED,

"HEY OLD WOMAN, HAVE YOU EVER DANCED?"

THE OLD WOMAN LOOKED UP AT THE GUNSLINGER AND SAID, "NO, I

NEVER DID DANCE... NEVER REALLY WANTED TO."

A CROWD HAD GATHERED AS THE GUNSLINGER GRINNED AND SAID,

"WELL, YOU OLD BAG, YOU'RE GONNA DANCE NOW," AND STARTED

SHOOTING AT THE OLD WOMAN'S FEET.

THE OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR -- NOT WANTING TO GET HER TOE BLOWN OFF -- STARTED HOPPING AROUND. EVERYBODY WAS LAUGHING.

WHEN HIS LAST BULLET HAD BEEN FIRED, THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER,

STILL LAUGHING, HOLSTERED HIS GUN AND TURNED AROUND TO GO BACK INTO THE SALOON.

THE OLD WOMAN TURNED TO HER PACK MULE, PULLED OUT A DOUBLE-BARRELED SHOTGUN, AND COCKED BOTH HAMMERS. THE LOUD CLICKS CARRIED CLEARLY THROUGH THE DESERT AIR.

THE CROWD STOPPED LAUGHING IMMEDIATELY.

THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER HEARD THE SOUNDS, TOO, AND HE TURNED

AROUND VERY SLOWLY. THE SILENCE WAS ALMOST DEAFENING.

THE CROWD WATCHED AS THE YOUNG GUNMAN STARED AT THE OLD

WOMAN AND THE LARGE GAPING HOLES OF THOSE TWIN BARRELS.

THE BARRELS OF THE SHOTGUN NEVER WAVERED IN THE OLD WOMAN'S HANDS, AS SHE QUIETLY SAID,

"SON, HAVE YOU EVER SMOOCHED A MULE'S ASS?"

THE GUNSLINGER SWALLOWED HARD AND SAID, "NO M'AM... BUT... I'VE

ALWAYS WANTED TO."

THERE ARE A FEW LESSONS HERE FOR ALL OF US:

1 - Never be arrogant.

2 - Don't waste ammunition.

3 - Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.

4 - Always, always make sure you know who has the power.

5 - Don't mess with old women; they didn't get old by being stupid...



And that's a fact!

I JUST LOVE A STORY WITH A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?

Was it the Mule who got the happy ending? Lol.

Thanks for sharing a laugh this morning.

Lol that is a cute one... you would think by now most men would know not to EVER underestimate a woman... oh well maybe one day they will figure it out hahaha....probly not

Silly boys guns are for women. .....hehehehe

Randi, what else have you been hiding underneath that bed?!?!

Reminds me of the old saying, "Never fight with an old (wo)man, they are likely to tired to duke it out so instead will just kill you."

Only a "pop" gun get it..... lol. ... I'm only here to please!

And very pleasing you are, Randi! I've got to finish up this next contract & get back to Texas! 'Course, I'm not goin' to be arrogant, waste ammo, drink whiskey, forget who's in charge or mess with old women that have shotguns. In fact, my plans don't involve any of those things...

My plans involve you and that bed you like to tie me down to! A woman has to know what she likes! And ohh boy do I like!

Of course, you'll be wearing those shiny purple cuffs next time...

Well of course a woman has to have her jewelry! As I recall you have a mouth preice as well. ..what other tricks do you have

Well, I do have a li'l something to hold that wand in place while I help you use that spider gag...

Hummm..... hurry up with that job of yours and show me. Be very meticulous so you don't have to do a repeat! I will be waiting!

Well, Randi, I'm trying to get these guys ready as quick as possible so we can get overseas & get this done! I keep tellin' them "Randi says if we don't hurry up, she's gonna get mad. Ya'll don't want to see her when she's mad." I guess they just don't believe me. As far as not having to head over & do this again, I'd have to change jobs. I was thinkin' something along the lines of Randi Games tamer... 'Course, that'd take a LOT of work! Might even not be possible. Could even be the death of a man. But, what a way to go!!! Might even need to invest in another rabbit fur flogger...

Awwwhh you say the sweetest things! Well show them a thing or two so you can stay home and tame me for a while!