How common is it for fear of rejection to be the primary reason a man utilizes escorts?

I started seeing and paying providers for the very reason of the subject of this thread because, once you pass their screening and they set an appointment with you, then you are good to go for a good time followed by a happy ending as the provider is ecstatic you picked her to pay and go see as opposed of the thousands of other providers you could have chosen.

Nowadays, it is rare to get that anymore. For the most part, it is mostly drama on and off the boards from the provider you contacted for a session and her provider buddies whom you have not contacted for a session that follow your posts just to insult you, and many providers set with you because they think they are doing you a favor by taking your money. Most important of all, even though you reached that happy ending where your rang your bell, the journey getting there when the session starts is generally one where she goes through the motions to make sure the list of activities gets marked off for her what better be a glowing review you give her. And then during full service, she is an emotionally and mentally checked out mannequin while you get yours (in, on, off and out).

As I said previously in this thread, I have the right mix with providers I see regularly and RW dates. It took me close to getting 300 OKs on p411 before I found them tho. Originally Posted by Wile E Coyote

Some providers are better than others. If a provider turns out to be bad, I'm less likely to get with her again.

I've never left reviews (good or bad). It would be too easy for the provider to figure out who I am. On that note, I don't tell any providers about my profile on here (precisely so I don't run into the problem you described, of providers following your posts to insult you)

My journey to tricking came from having a stable of civies that I would fuck or blow me regularly, moving and downsizing to nothing, hookers were a good option,

The best way to pickup women is approaching them in public places and don't settle for what you're not attracted to, always shoot higher. I never do social media to pick up women, I did in the early days when it was easy without simps around

You be surprised what a few compliments will do to improve your chances, give out confident energy and don't be scared of rejection, I've found so many lonely women out there, sometimes I wanna shoot way out of my league but hold back at the end, my confidence exceeds reality sometimes

My journey to tricking came from having a stable of civies that I would fuck or blow me regularly, moving and downsizing to nothing, hookers were a good option,

The best way to pickup women is approaching them in public places and don't settle for what you're not attracted to, always shoot higher. I never do social media to pick up women, I did in the early days when it was easy without simps around

You be surprised what a few compliments will do to improve your chances, give out confident energy and don't be scared of rejection, I've found so many lonely women out there, sometimes I wanna shoot way out of my league but hold back at the end, my confidence exceeds reality sometimes Originally Posted by BLM69

Interestingly, I've made moves on gals in public before with no nervousness whatsoever.

Making a move on a woman I already know is what makes me nervous.

That being said, I sorta gave up on making moves in public (because even though I don't let that type of rejection get to me, I got rejected 100% of the time when approaching strangers in public...which made me question the usefulness of these approaches)

Additionally, the internet is full of female journalists writing articles with titles like "Never approach a woman. If you approach a woman, you're a creep" (Ironically, these very same journalists also write articles with titles like "How come men don't approach me?")

The articles calling men creeps for approaching a woman in public lines up with some of my observations in the field. I've witnessed more than one woman throw an absolute hissy fit because a man said so much as one word to her in public.

My journey to tricking came from having a stable of civies that I would fuck or blow me regularly, moving and downsizing to nothing, hookers were a good option,

The best way to pickup women is approaching them in public places and don't settle for what you're not attracted to, always shoot higher. I never do social media to pick up women, I did in the early days when it was easy without simps around

You be surprised what a few compliments will do to improve your chances, give out confident energy and don't be scared of rejection, I've found so many lonely women out there, sometimes I wanna shoot way out of my league but hold back at the end, my confidence exceeds reality sometimes Originally Posted by BLM69

Oh yeah, and I meant to mention: I totally agree it's not worth it to go for a woman you don't find attractive.

In my younger days, I'd go for a woman I'm not attracted to. After settling into my escort habit (and knowing I have escorts to fall back on), there's no reason to go for a woman I don't find attractive.

Some providers are better than others. If a provider turns out to be bad, I'm less likely to get with her again.

I've never left reviews (good or bad). It would be too easy for the provider to figure out who I am. On that note, I don't tell any providers about my profile on here (precisely so I don't run into the problem you described, of providers following your posts to insult you) Originally Posted by AdventurousMouse

All ladies I have seen can connect me to my profile, I do not have a problem with it and neither do they. The ones that follow me around to insult me, usually hijacking a thread I posted on to do so, are the providers I have never seen nor have I ever contacted them for a session.

Sure, providers are not robots, but they are getting paid to do a service. Problem is, the service most believe they are seeing you as if you are a revolving door John, then BCD, they are mentally checked out dead fucks and doing you a favor by relieving you of your money. Then on top of that, they want a stellar review written on them afterwards.

If I wanted that, I would certainly not pay for that non sense, I would take my chances in the RW for free. And THAT is reason I see the rare type of providers out there today who are all about me, so I do not have to go with the flow and hope for the best, I am paying for the guarantee of a great time (and ladies, just because a guy rings a bell does not mean the session itself was good).

I've met a few gents that, like you, have a fear of rejection in the real world. They are attractive, but they don't want to approach a woman in the real world because of embarrassment of being turned down. However, I find that most gents just want a sure thing with a beautiful provider. They like to have an outlet that they can't get at home, or they travel so much for work that they can't have a real-world relationship.

I got back in the hobby because I'm bored in the real world. I have a real-world job that I love, but I miss the thrill of meeting new friends so here I am.

I've met a few gents that, like you, have a fear of rejection in the real world. They are attractive, but they don't want to approach a woman in the real world because of embarrassment of being turned down. However, I find that most gents just want a sure thing with a beautiful provider. They like to have an outlet that they can't get at home, or they travel so much for work that they can't have a real-world relationship.

I got back in the hobby because I'm bored in the real world. I have a real-world job that I love, but I miss the thrill of meeting new friends so here I am. Originally Posted by Seline

Getting a sure thing is certainly a major benefit of getting with a provider too.

It's interesting you've known some attractive men who get with escorts because he's afraid of getting turned down in the real world. That would suggest attractive men getting turned down is a pretty common thing.

Here I was thinking the only reason I (despite my good looks) get turned down nearly 100% of the time is because of my ASD.

At the risk of backtracking somewhat on what I just said (about how awesome it is that we know we're getting a sure thing with a provider), there is one thing a sexless date could give me that a session with a provider doesn't give me:

At least with a sexless date, even though it's sexless, I know that the woman is there out of genuine desire (not because I hired her)

[Alas, I have a hard time even getting a sexless date. So I don't see myself ending my escort habit any time soon. Or ever]

At the risk of backtracking somewhat on what I just said (about how awesome it is that we know we're getting a sure thing with a provider), there is one thing a sexless date could give me that a session with a provider doesn't give me:

At least with a sexless date, even though it's sexless, I know that the woman is there out of genuine desire (not because I hired her)

[Alas, I have a hard time even getting a sexless date. So I don't see myself ending my escort habit any time soon. Or ever] Originally Posted by AdventurousMouse

Maybe she desires an expensive meal . Maybe she desires an expensive concert or outing. Modern women date men that will provide for them .

It is a running joke on every dating site ( non sugaring ). Ladies will many times get a free meal and expensive outings . Think of all the money these girls save on food and entertainment. Do not be so naive with modern women . Some are genuine but many are gamers saving money on entertainment and food . You pay for the evening and then they bang their broke , drug using boyfriend and bring him the doggy bag from the meal you provided. While posting pics and vids of the evening you paid for on social media.

If I am not getting laid why bother going on dates .

Maybe she desires an expensive meal . Maybe she desires an expensive concert or outing. Modern women date men that will provide for them .

It is a running joke on every dating site ( non sugaring ). Ladies will many times get a free meal and expensive outings . Think of all the money these girls save on food and entertainment. Do not be so naive with modern women . Some are genuine but many are gamers saving money on entertainment and food . You pay for the evening and then they bang their broke , drug using boyfriend and bring him the doggy bag from the meal you provided. While posting pics and vids of the evening you paid for on social media.

If I am not getting laid why bother going on dates . Originally Posted by FightFan

What you're describing isn't desirable at all.

On my last date, we split the bill. We then chatted for a long time after dinner. The woman obviously had genuine desire.

I never had a fear of rejection because its like the old saying theres somebody for everyone and different strokes for different folks..Just look around there are some odd couples out there.
As much as everybody is here for sex but relationships are not just sex..its the way you get along with people ..humor , looks, wit, intelligence..You got to be able to laugh and have fun..
I just try to have a good time and dont judge people and the rest of everything will follow.
Escorts have been around for 1000's of years
its the convenience, finding a woman thats a 10 to your 5, or just playing with someone that is more experienced.
Just dont forget all of the escorts are human treat them like u want to be treated and dont fear rejection just try to have fun !

I never had a fear of rejection because its like the old saying theres somebody for everyone and different strokes for different folks..Just look around there are some odd couples out there.
As much as everybody is here for sex but relationships are not just sex..its the way you get along with people ..humor , looks, wit, intelligence..You got to be able to laugh and have fun..
I just try to have a good time and dont judge people and the rest of everything will follow.
Escorts have been around for 1000's of years
its the convenience, finding a woman thats a 10 to your 5, or just playing with someone that is more experienced.
Just dont forget all of the escorts are human treat them like u want to be treated and dont fear rejection just try to have fun ! Originally Posted by wildwooly1

I enjoy the sex and do not mind paying for it. Love sex in the late afternoon and free to watch a Mavs game and ESPN late into the night.

Single and never been married and accepted the fact I will die alone.

Allot of failed relationships along the way but some were probably for the best.

I consider myself an educated man but when it comes to reading the signals of the opposite sex I am clueless.

8 years ago I was invited by an ex girl friend to an Office Party they were having in the Stockyards. I was thinking maybe she was still interested, she's a lawyer and her schedule was always crazy and she was always stressed out so we parted as "Friends".

We hugged and I bought drinks and we caught up and having fun, then she tells me how great her life is as she met someone special and it was serious. WTF, why am I here ? She had introduced me to a girl friend of hers, said this is my BFF, nice girl, mid 30's, but she dressed weird with bulky clothes and her hair pulled into a tight bun and glasses.

I make excuses and tell her I need to leave, she ask me to drive her friend home, it's not too far and she's ready to also go home. I mention Uber and her friend says she's scared of those things. So I pull up to her Apartment complex and stop and say "See ya Later", almost wanting to push her out while rolling down the road.

She wants me to park and walk upstairs with her as the hallway is dark and it scares her. We get to her door and she invites me in for Coffee, I say "No Coffee keeps me up this late, but i'll take a bottle of water for the road". Inside she's still chatting about nonsense, The Aerosmith Song, "Talk About Things Nobody Cares" was written about her.

I look over to a curio cabinet and see a shelf full of ribbons and medals and a picture of her in a Karate Gi with a Black Belt, she is a National Judo Champion. Then the light goes off in my head that this woman likes me and wants sex. This woman could kick my ass or probably any redneck in that bar we came from.

I kiss her and she latched on and it was nonstop sex for the next two days. We fucked in every room of her Apartment except the coat closet. Side note, she is a Deputy US Marshall who carries a G9 in her purse and a SW38 strapped to her ankle. My ex GF built me up to her, and she said she had been looking at me all night trying to get my attention but my rejection just made her want me more.

We dated on and off for three years then she got transferred to another State and I have no interest in chasing. Still friends but sometimes us guys just have zero instinct when a girl is interested. Some guys have the Super Power to tell by a quick glance if a girl wants them but many of us were gifted with other skills and Super Powers.

Learn to read the signals of the opposite sex, the signs are everywhere.

I enjoy the sex and do not mind paying for it. Love sex in the late afternoon and free to watch a Mavs game and ESPN late into the night.

Single and never been married and accepted the fact I will die alone.

Allot of failed relationships along the way but some were probably for the best.

I consider myself an educated man but when it comes to reading the signals of the opposite sex I am clueless.

8 years ago I was invited by an ex girl friend to an Office Party they were having in the Stockyards. I was thinking maybe she was still interested, she's a lawyer and her schedule was always crazy and she was always stressed out so we parted as "Friends".

We hugged and I bought drinks and we caught up and having fun, then she tells me how great her life is as she met someone special and it was serious. WTF, why am I here ? She had introduced me to a girl friend of hers, said this is my BFF, nice girl, mid 30's, but she dressed weird with bulky clothes and her hair pulled into a tight bun and glasses.

I make excuses and tell her I need to leave, she ask me to drive her friend home, it's not too far and she's ready to also go home. I mention Uber and her friend says she's scared of those things. So I pull up to her Apartment complex and stop and say "See ya Later", almost wanting to push her out while rolling down the road.

She wants me to park and walk upstairs with her as the hallway is dark and it scares her. We get to her door and she invites me in for Coffee, I say "No Coffee keeps me up this late, but i'll take a bottle of water for the road". Inside she's still chatting about nonsense, The Aerosmith Song, "Talk About Things Nobody Cares" was written about her.

I look over to a curio cabinet and see a shelf full of ribbons and medals and a picture of her in a Karate Gi with a Black Belt, she is a National Judo Champion. Then the light goes off in my head that this woman likes me and wants sex. This woman could kick my ass or probably any redneck in that bar we came from.

I kiss her and she latched on and it was nonstop sex for the next two days. We fucked in every room of her Apartment except the coat closet. Side note, she is a Deputy US Marshall who carries a G9 in her purse and a SW38 strapped to her ankle. My ex GF built me up to her, and she said she had been looking at me all night trying to get my attention but my rejection just made her want me more.

We dated on and off for three years then she got transferred to another State and I have no interest in chasing. Still friends but sometimes us guys just have zero instinct when a girl is interested. Some guys have the Super Power to tell by a quick glance if a girl wants them but many of us were gifted with other skills and Super Powers.

Learn to read the signals of the opposite sex, the signs are everywhere. Originally Posted by ahab11

I have a problem with reading a woman's clues. I've imagined interest where none existed way too many times. As a result, I then began to overcorrect in the opposite direction (and I convince myself she's not into me no matter how obvious her clues might be...after all, I've been wrong about clues I thought were obvious before)

One other thing I'm going to add is that I agree with your comment about how having sex on your schedule is a major benefit of escorts.

I do not mind paying to get laid, after all, a guy pays for it in the RW too. The difference is, at least you get a nut from a BJ or FS from a provider as apposed to spending almost the same amount on food and entertainment on a RW date only to get a kiss goodnight if that.

What I have done the last 5 years or so, is taking the providers who IMO, would be good arm candy, out to dinner (they all have to eat) and some entertainment too. Then, it is back to the hotel room or whatever, to have a guarantee of sex, which is something you cannot say for 100% of the time for RW dates.

Those providers who show that they are more than mentally checked out dead fish fucks, I call back for future dates.

Some guys have the Super Power to tell by a quick glance if a girl wants them but many of us were gifted with other skills and Super Powers.

Learn to read the signals of the opposite sex, the signs are everywhere. Originally Posted by ahab11

If a guy is still somehow uncertain if a woman is interested when she says, "Let's go back to my place," I'm not sure what to tell ya.

I was never much of a "dater." I would generally hook up with women I met at bars or parties. Meeting women in a fun group setting among mutual friends is a great way to break the ice. I used to go see live music a lot. That way at least I knew I would meet women I had similar taste in music with. But soon after the hookup it was always pretty clear one or both of us wasn't interested in continuing things. So no monetary expense was ever involved beyond a typical night out. The two instances when we both wanted to continue things turned into VERY lengthy relationships, one of which I'm still involved in over 20 years later.

The last period of time I was single I made a point of making lots of platonic lady-friends who I'd go do stuff with. Those friends had other friends, etc. It sure beat sitting in front of a computer or swiping left or right on a phone-dating app. I had a fear of rejection, too; but I learned to put myself in situations where rejection was unlikely. I only got my heart broken once in that relatively brief time-frame.

ps--So nowadays if I pay to see a provider it's because an affair is too risky and impractical. And at my age and income level, the possibility of an attractive provider half my age falling head over heels for me and creating unwanted drama--or worse--seems nonexistent. They may seem like they really like us at the time, but IOP is what it is.