Now hiring for Sugar Daddy:)

Dearest Heinz,

I do value your thoughts and opinions, but I don't trust you any more than I trust any person on the other side of a computer screen. I hope you don't take that personally, I just haven't screened you and we've never met.

For me, the beginning of 'social rates' stemmed from the month of February and into March and it was only picking up in pace. In March, I was going on social dates 5 to 6 days per week. Lunch dates almost every day. Dinner dates 2 to 3 days per week. Perhaps you're right and maybe I am on the wrong track with attempting to manage my time via 'social rates.' Has nothing to do with the desire to be compensated for every minute, but merely the desire to get social dates to a frequency within reason. You might find 1 or 2 social dates every single day within reason, but for me it was too much. The social rate route has worked thus far and has made it a fair playing field for all, however, I am always open to alternative ideas you might be willing to share.

I agree with you that a lady should be interested in giving some social time to gentlemen who they feel good being with when not in the bedroom. But where is that line drawn? If a client wants to see a provider outside the bedroom 2-3 times a week… 8-12 times a month… and see her BCD 1 time a month… Are you saying the lady should be perfectly comfortable and willing to receive financial support/compensation in the amount nearest a one hour private time rate? Sorry pal, that seems a bit lopsided to me. I'd have to respectfully decline. To me, that would seem like the person is taking advantage of a situation, which in itself would make us not compatible. I don't take advantage of situations, and I would hope friends I am intimate with would have a similar outlook.

Ok, this one's for you Heinz... I have provided the Q's.

As a client, have you ever requested 1 hour and then stayed 2 hours?
Is it something that you do on a repeat basis?
If so, why do you request a date and then stay twice as long and not pay accordingly?
If you usually need more time, why not ask for more time up front?
For me, it would make sense to ask before the date, rather than putting the lady in an awkward position while together, overstaying the welcome. If she's ok with it, she'll say yes in advance. Originally Posted by PleasantSurprise

I am unable to locate your corresponding A's.

Well pleasant, I think you have confirmed why you wouldn't make it as a SB. Trust me, the ladies who gave me two hours when I paid for one made the money back twice over in tips and extras and the enjoyment they had being with me. They weren't thinking of 'social rates'. If you need to be compensated for every minute and you feel that you would be giving out 24/7 then you have missed the idea. You aren't interested in dating ALL your clients. You should be interested in giving some social time to gentlemen that you feel good being with even when not in the bedroom. That isn't dating and it isn't working. If it were a streetwalker walking up to my car and asking if I want a date would be correct. It isn't a date. It is a buisness transaction. (For the record, I don't do streetwalkers) In the SB/SD relationship both parties have some invested emotional interests. While the bottom line in analysis is that it is sex for money, the SD/SBs don't see it that way. They see it as two people each getting something out of the relationship. He can call when he is lonely and depressed or just plain horny and for the most part she will be there. She gets some or all of her financial needs met. It isn't a she gets x dollars/mo and she works for the money. There will be times when he gives money and there is no sex and times when she gives sex and there is no envelope on the nightstand. If I got extra time from some of the ladies it wasn't because I was the greatest man there was in the sack or because my tips covered the time. It was because each of us could be counted on to be there for the other with what they had to give. I just recently gave money to a lady to help her pay some bills. The money was given in a car and there was no sex performed. I suppose that at some time in the future when I am able or IF I am able I might get some benefit for being good. Even that lady I do not consider to be a SB because for the most part, it is still a quid pro quo arrangement and if I see her she calls it an appointment. It will be a SB/SD arrangement when I can call her and we can go to a private place and enjoy each other without a gift changing hands. Lastly, I have pretty much written the money I gave her off. She'll never be a SB because she still has a provider mentality. That is OK. Most human relationships evolve because there is mutual gain for both. Even the institution of marriage is based on the legalization of sex and the assumption that both parties will care for each other in good times and bad. Most divorces occur over money. Is marriage a 'sex for money' deal? Is she a PROVIDER? Is he a PROVIDER? Most would say not, but the component is there. The ladies who give me time on a regular basis choose to do so. You choose to be compensated by the hour. There is a huge difference. I've seen ladies stand before a judge with the arguement that the money was grocery money and that she was just so enamered by the gentlemen that she wanted to have sex even though they didn't know each others name. What do you think the judge ruled? If I have a lady and give her $500 to $5000 dollars and call her a week later and she says, "Come on over!" and she answers her door naked and lets me play with every hole on her golf course, how do you think a judge would rule on that? Sure technically both cases are sex for money but it is much easier to think legally and otherwise that the latter isn't. Originally Posted by heinz5710

Can you help me to better understand you with a very simple…
Yes or No where applicable, and a 1-2 sentence response for the open-ended questions?

Oktome, great find!

I would even go as far as saying a lady can change from one type to the next. Such as, where a lady might initially be the Sugar Baby Opportunist, I can see the transition being fairly easy over to the Sugar Baby Enhancer.

I just thought about something. Purely random. What if, as a close guesstimate, you could take a provider's 1 hour rate and add a zero to the end to determine what she would most likely "go for" as a SB. A $200 girl would go for $2,000 a month as a SB, a $300 girl for $3,000 a month, etc. And then, as we know, all the time spent together would be off the clock or already agreed upon, depending how you look at it. Could be very easily broken down into weekly increments, $500/$700/$900 etc, but would yield unlimited time together without ever having to play with numbers or look at a clock.

I really like and agree that Sugar Babies don’t see themselves as “getting paid” and rather sees her situation as showing her appreciation to the friend (man) who helps her out.

There are 4 types of sugarbabies according to this article: If you want the link to article it is written by a lady that shows how to be a successful SB.

It is not a "guys" opinion, but a women who has obviously spent more time than she should have to think through this.

1.
Mercenary Sugar Baby.
Mercenary is just another word for a Sugar Baby who’s just looking for financial benefits from her Sugar Daddy. From getting that tuition bill paid to using credit cards with virtually no limits, the Mercenary Sugar Baby is looking to make stacks of cash.
2.
Sugar Baby Opportunist.
This Sugar Baby is looking to benefit both emotionally and financially. She wants a Sugar Daddy that won’t just take care of her bills, but can provide her with a fulfilling emotional relationship as well.
3.
Sugar Baby Enhancer.
This Sugar Baby is looking to live the high life without receiving any financial benefits. She already has the money to treat herself to what she wants – she just wants the right man to open those exclusive restaurant and club doors!
4.
Traditional Sugar Baby.
She’s looking to meet with Sugar Daddies to form deep emotional connections and have a fulfilling relationship with her Sugar Daddy.

So why is it so important to understand which Sugar Baby personality type you fall under?
The reasoning is simple: once you understand more about your Sugar Baby personality, you can better communicate your needs and expectations to your Sugar Daddy.

Before we start off the Blueprint, let’s address a specific part of the Sugar Baby experience.
For many women, the thought of getting paid by men for their company might seem a bit
off-putting; however, Sugar Babies don’t see themselves as “getting paid.” Rather, she
sees her situation as showing her appreciation to the friend (the man) who helps her out.
She may also see it as “found money”, there for the taking if he’s willing to give it away.
Whatever or however Sugar Babies rationalize it, she does not see herself as getting paid. Originally Posted by oktome

Pleasant, you want the simple answer. Providers exist because men want the company of attractive and beautiful women in and outside the bedroom. You limited your number of dates by starting 'social rates'. Good for you! It demonstrates how money conscious you are. Did you ever think you could have limited them by just saying no? You are a true provider but never a SB. Glad you screened me but I wasn't applying for a 'social rate.' You look for ATM machines. Is that what men are to you?

Now I know it won't surprise you but many of the ladies gave me extra time with them not because I was the greatest in the sack but because I treated them well and they enjoyed my company. Originally Posted by heinz5710

I did that all the time. Honestly, if I had to watch the clock, to me, I think it would have meant that I literally hated my job. Besides, the "sale", for lack of a better word, isn't the sex, it literally is the companionship, and that can mean different things to different men. To some it's the illusions. To some it's kinky sex they can't or won't get at home. It's a safe harbor in the storm. But in the end, it isn't simply about this for that, i.e., sex for money. They can get that for a lot less somewhere else.

Many years ago I did have one lady who gave me the line "I hope you enjoyed it because I didn't!" Obviously I never saw her again. Originally Posted by heinz5710

That's a really shitty thing to say. I had a motto of First Do No Harm. What she said in my opinion does do harm.

To me, the SD/SB is only achieved when he is helping out financially but when the sex comes and when the money comes are not linked. Originally Posted by heinz5710

This is what I would consider a SB/SD relationship also. But watch out! You'll be told your just WRONG! Wrong, Wrong, Wrong LOL.

The reason I don't think providers can make good SB is the fact that they tend to put a price on everything with the excuse that they must pay the bills. Originally Posted by heinz5710

Well we do. I just, as in just now, booked a trip to go out to see my mama for a week and Business Class tickets for me and my daughter to Cartagena, Columbia, and I haven't even started on the hotels, driver and day trips.. That costs money; a lot of money. The reason clients think it's all about the money is because it is just like it is for you at your job - There's literally no difference. But just because someone does something for money doesn't mean they don't enjoy it. Like I said, I loved my job.

Another way to look at it is this. When you go out with a lady on a first date, you have no idea where it's going to go. It may be your last date, you could end up marrying her or anything in between. That's the way it is when a working girl meets someone she will eventually start spending her real world time with and move the relationship to something different, and that's where the Catch 22 begins.

You have to realize, it's not east to date and work at the same time if you really care about someone. It has to be about the money or she can't eat. It's a quandary that many don't find a way out of. THIS is where it becomes all about them money because it is. You don't want her to work. She doesn't want to work. But where is she going to go find a job, with a huge resume gap, like in two weeks that allows her to spend her days with a married man that allows her to make as much money as escorting. See?

I won't be anyone's client for a few weeks and then I may retire. Originally Posted by heinz5710

Sorry to hear you're unwell.

I understand the fact that you treated ALL of your clients well, but to a degree we are all judgemental. I was in buisness for a long time. I can assure you that some preferrential treatment was given clients that paid more of my bills. In most cases I could usually work things out to make everyone happy. However, I can assure you that clients that paid for extra service got that service. Originally Posted by heinz5710

Yes, I would agree. But like I said, it has to be managed or allowed to grow. Just depends I guess on where someone is in their life and their heads.

This discussion is bordering on the 'can a provider have a relationship outside the trade'. If you have read well, you will note that it is difficult if not impossible. Furthermore, the gentlemen pretty much frown on actually loving the providers and they make it clear the providers aren't your GF. Reality is a bit different. Many gentlemen are looking for the GFE. It for the most part isn't how many holes on the golf course are available. For the most part it is the attitude of both. For the hour or two that I was with a lady I expected to be treated with dignity and I treated the ladies well. Providers were the only GFs I have had and it NEVER extended outside the appoinment time. Many providers would love to have SD but logic tells us that you have a real problem rationalizing the freebees on both sides that needs to be there. The fine Irish lady that spoke of hers is the exception and not the rule. BTW, I have met her in person but was never a client of hers. I was judgemental . If you look at Ashly Madison, you will find many more SD/SB relationships then here. Originally Posted by heinz5710

+1!

Lastly, if I were 20 years younger and you were still practicing you would have a PM in your box. Intelligent, attractive ladies who knew how to treat a man were my type Originally Posted by heinz5710

, and I can guarantee you, we'd both have a good time. I always liked clients like you.

I had an arrangement with an SD before getting into the biz. I go to school full time and work a job (30+) hours a week, but living in Miami, tuition and living expenses are not cheap and I was struggling to make ends meet.

I was sitting at Panera, alone, nearly crying into my sandwich because I was just so broke it was ridiculous. This gent comes up to me, introduces himself, and asks why I'm so upset. It was basically history from there. He was such a kind gentleman and very understanding, I loved spending weekends with him and he did help me out financially (1k+ monthly) but we also did stuff together - going out, staying in and ordering takeout, cuddling for hours and of course - sex (which was very good lol). And NO BBFS or uncovered anything was required or even brought up. It was condoms EVERY TIME and he never pushed, sosugarbaby bbfs is definitely nowhere near the normal expectation.

But then he wanted to just spend more and more time with me, asking me to skip classes or take off nights of work to be with him. And I liked him, I really did, but I wasn't paying 50k in tuition to skip my classes, and every time I missed a shift at my job, that was $100 dollars I was losing. I did do it for a bit because I was still making more than I was losing, but then "stuff came up" and he couldn't cover my expenses like he initially said that he would and then there was just no money - but he still expected total and complete time commitment and affection to him whenever he wanted it.

I guess I am a true provider at heart lol. I love relationships but if I wanted just a regular boyfriend I am more than capable of getting one on my own. I needed financial help, our relationship was good, but once the money went away, so did I; that was the premise of our relationship. I really felt (and still do) that my time was valuable it, especially because I have so little to spare. Now that I am financially stable on my own (mostly all of my provider money goes into savings) I am more than willing to be in an exclusive sb/sd relationship again but they would HAVE to be able to take care of most of my finances, which are at a MINIMUM 1k a month. That is a real Sugardaddy (at least to me). Down here in Miami 1k is at the lower end, I have friends who are just SB's who get 5k a month and that doesn't include gifts and trips.

Money is the not the sole purpose for women, but around here it seems many believe it is, but I guess most here would believe that. How else do folks here rationalize what they do. I think they kid themselves, but whatever. Originally Posted by oktome

Goddamn. I wish more of the guys here had the same attitude as you. It's funny, you'll notice that the ones bitching about clock watchers, bad IOP, etc are the ones touting the claim that the girls are only in it for the cash. Funny thing about that...if you walk into an incall being all slut shamey or misogynistic we can smell it on ya. And it's one hell of a turn off. And you'll notice that we're turned off and then you'll just assume it's because we're only in it for the money. Fun fact -- lots of men (although they are rarely chatty on boards) walk in without that attitude and then the fun is crazy fun and the IOP isn't an illusion at all.

Back on topic...I guess...SD/SB relationships sound gross. Not in general, I could care less how you get your jollies and pay your bills, it's just not something I'd feel comfortable with. I was just browsing and wanted to comment on this gem of insight.

Well Jenns, you make a great point. To many people here it sounds gross because most of the women here are providers. They are running a business. If you could have this thread on Ashley Madison, you'd get a different outlook. Many men and women aren't in to sex for money or in the men's case paying for it. However, they are in to sex for pleasure, entertainment and even the intimacy. So he pays out a couple of grand a month and she puts out whatever she is comfortable with. The bottom line is sex for money and SD\SB but you would never know it. They call it 'having an affair'. I've given out quite a bit and received no sex for it. Some would say I am foolish, but I've also had my share of time given willingly. Everything was so much better that way. I guess I felt good about my acts of kindness, but I always objected to ladies who treated me like a strip club where if you stop paying you get no dances and no company. The intimacy was just something I could never put a price on. While women can tell if the man is just there to abuse them, I always looked for an attitute that told me I wasn't just an ATM machine. When it is all work and no fun for her, I believe I could tell. I wasn't the best lover in the world but I wasn't there to hurt anyone. If some bills got paid, even better. I had mostly great times. Now I'm definitely not G-d's gift to women but I was happy to make a few smiles where I could. Some ladies just enjoy the company of men.

Pleasant, you want the simple answer. Providers exist because men want the company of attractive and beautiful women in and outside the bedroom. You limited your number of dates by starting 'social rates'. Good for you! It demonstrates how money conscious you are. Did you ever think you could have limited them by just saying no? You are a true provider but never a SB. Glad you screened me but I wasn't applying for a 'social rate.' You look for ATM machines. Is that what men are to you? Originally Posted by heinz5710

I'll go ahead and answer your questions.
Yes -- I did think of limiting social dates by just saying no.
No -- I don't view men as automated teller machines.
I don't screen strangers until they indicate the desire to meet face to face, I'm unsure of the basis which you assume I've screened you. Probably just a miscommunication on one of our parts.

Having been informed the true reason providers exist and putting limits via time and financial restraint, I guess I'll have to settle for being a provider. This is a finger snapping moment. I'm pausing briefly for a moment of silence. Precisely 15 seconds of silence, followed by celebration. Close your eyes and envision a woman fully nude dancing in her front room to an upbeat song, what's playing right now... Crazy followed by Alison Krauss.

I love relationships but if I wanted just a regular boyfriend I am more than capable of getting one on my own. Originally Posted by Karyn Lovely

+1

Money is the not the sole purpose for women, but around here it seems many believe it is, but I guess most here would believe that. Originally Posted by oktome

Goddamn. I wish more of the guys here had the same attitude as you [oktome]. Originally Posted by JennsLolli

+1

Dearest Heinz,

I do value your thoughts and opinions, but I don't trust you any more than I trust any person on the other side of a computer screen. I hope you don't take that personally, I just haven't screened you and we've never met.
Originally Posted by PleasantSurprise

Here is where I got the screening comment. I misinterpreted and I apologize. You clearly state that you did not screen me. Sometimes I wonder how I received 11 OKs on P411? I guess the mind is the second thing to go. BTW I have been to your part of the country but you weren't born yet. Maybe I should have gotten a motel room and waited .

Long story short, I'm 21 years old and basically never had a boyfriend. I've never genuinely kissed a guy or had a long-standing relationship with one. If my love life could be a picture, it'd be of a dust bowl.

My friends have boyfriends (one of them met her bf online, which I'm NOT willing to do) and have lost their virginity, except me. My 19 year old sister has gone further than I have with guys!

I'm quite shy and reserved, and not into the drinking scene. I'm in college and catching up on my major (I switched my major in the spring of my sophomore year) and am trying to maintain a 3.5 GPA so I can get into a good Nutrition MS program in state.

I'll be a senior this year, and even though I'll be at school an extra semester, I'd like to make it count. I don't know if there's something about me I could change that would get me "noticed" more, but on the other hand, I like who I am and wouldn't change a thing about me. I feel like all the guys on campus just wanna party and get drunk, and I'm so NOT into that! It's really frustrating.

My mom keeps telling me "you need to go find someone! Just keep an open mind, etc." and it's annoying, because I know she feels embarrassed that she has a 21 year old daughter who's never had a bf.

Sorry this is a long post, but I'm so consumed with school work and trying to maintain my GPA so I can get into the graduate school I want that I have 0 experience in the dating field, and would just like some tips maybe. To sum it all up, how can I find someone for me, and how the heck do I deal with comments from my mom about this subject?!

Hey, Jimmyjjohn, your profile says you're MALE.

WTF, dude?

... I'm 34 weeks pregnant ... Originally Posted by jimmyjjohn

And a virgin. How odd.

My boyfriend and I are kinda going through a rough time I guess but I think it's mostly just because I'm a little unhappy right now. I'm not gonna lie. I reeeeeeeeaaaaalllly want to be married and have that commitment especially since now I'm 34 weeks pregnant and I'd really like my daughter to grow up under a "family". It's important to me for her. But he doesn't seem to be in any sort of rush and we've talked about it. Back in September he took me to a store to pick out a ring and I saw the ring I wanted. Then when taxes came back this year we had enough money for the ring and I told him that. He knew that I wanted to get married in June of this year but these past few months he's made some comments about getting married June of next year not this year. Then the whole ring thing he didn't really say much of anything until around the time when I was gonna actually go through with us getting it. He started making comments about how maybe I should spend that money on school or something else and that we'd get the ring next year or something, etc. I was really hurt by it all because he took me to look at that ring in the first place months ago so I thought that once we could afford it he'd get it. Now it's like all of these little excuses for why he's in no rush and then he says stuff like he wishes I would help clean and cook more often. I don't know what his real deal is. Maybe he's just scared to commit. He hasn't really had a good example of marriage or relationships growing up in his family and in his own life. Or maybe he just doesn't want to be with me forever really? I don't know.
Originally Posted by jimmyjjohn

I am thinking you are going to be booted off this site for whoring out the website you have in your sig.

I could be wrong though

Golly I thought this would be cute. I have a sd who knows I provide. In my perfect hooker world 2 great generous guys I could just stick to them. But it was not ment to be taken seriously. I think a provider can make a great sb.

I am thinking you are going to be booted off this site for whoring out the website you have in your sig.

I could be wrong though Originally Posted by Gotyour6

You said the word whoring. Haha. Nice. I love it. Or maybe it's just the term whore. Hmmm.