Addiction... 15 years on these boards I've seen it's affects and it is a simple one word answer to many questions asked.

This is a very provocative topic and I agree with a lot of your premises. But it's disturbing when I see myself in some of those descriptions.

I'm sure that I'm not alone.

However, maybe I should think about what you've presented before writing much more.



Elisabeth Originally Posted by ElisabethWhispers

I've had this conversation a few times over the years with people I hope will see themselves in it.... Not all do unfortunately....

We cannot fix problems when we are unaware of them.....And we cannot help other's fix THEIR problems while they are in denial.

I heard a rumor I may be addicted to hot chicks. I'm not trying to kick the habit. Originally Posted by Still Looking

You and me both!

A provider that is no longer with us that I knew for a lot of years was a very good friend for a very long time.

SHE was addicted to Internet Porn.

Without fail, every 3 months, she would call me up and want to drop off her laptop because of the number of viruses she had obtained surfing porn sites with one hand... vibrator in the other..... Originally Posted by Whispers

It was nice of you to continually fix it for her. It does sound like she needed a better anti-virus or a walk-through on how to navigate the internet safely.

I've been sneaking porn on the family computer since the dial up days and have yet to get a virus......Black hats please do not consider that an invitation.

Whisp..... Thank you for bringing attention to this topic. And also for the thoughtful manner in which it is written.

Addiction is a huge part of this hobby and the most ignored.

Because I feel this is such an important topic, and in hope that it will help at least 1 person, I will share with you my story.
How I got here and why I am still here.

I am addicted to the Power and Control the hobby gives me over men.

I am also addicted to helping young ladies in this hobby and helping them get out of this hobby at any cost. I feel it is my duty(to a point of an unhealthy obsession) to save a young woman from the pain that brought us to this hobby and the negative aspects (way of the hobby life) that can destroy a woman's life.

Sexually molested by my father from birth and raped by my father and my uncles starting at age 11, my view of sex was obviously far from the norm.

I, unlike the majority of women that are sexually abused, was fortunate to not get involved with drugs or alcohol. Probably because it was not available in the environment in which I was raised. I was however a violent child, and practiced self mutilation.

To me, sex was unpleasant(to say the least) and solely a physical experience that brought pleasure to a man.

I met my husband at age 18. He was my savior from the abuse(sexual and physical) I got living with my father. Sex with my husband was not pleasurable for me, although a lot more tolerable than incest, and I was able to perform(doing my wifely duty)by disassociating.

Divorced by age 23. Through my 20's sex was obsolete in my life.
For me, sex had no emotion attached.

I had my children and my brother and his children. My family fulfilled the need for love. Since sex and love had no correlation in my mind, I had no desire for an intimate relationship with a man.

In my early 30's, my job took me to Houston. During my time in Houston I discovered spas. My curiosity led me to Amazing Escorts and long story short.... I got a part time job answering the phones for amazing escorts.

I learned the business. I listened, I watched, I researched, I studied and I learned about men. I learned how to control men.....

Finally, I took my first date and quickly realized I had power. A lot of power.

I found a way in which I could take control of an intimate encounter with a man. I learned how to leave each encounter with a sense of strength and power, and to leave the man I was with weak and powerless over me.

For me it became a game. A sick game, I admit. A mind game.

I know that the hobby is about the physical activities.... I learned how to change that. My goal was to make a man believe he was in-love with me. Knowing a man wanted me for me (not my body) was the euphoria.

The vast amount of money I made was honestly unimportant to me. I somehow felt it was owed to me and it was simply an added bonus that allowed me to provide a college education for my daughters. 2 bachelors an 1 doctorate... Proud to say!
Today, I am extremely thankful, amazed and appreciative to all for that part.

The typical provider makes money with her physical sexual appearance and the sexual activities she performs... I decided to do the opposite.

Typical provider greets her client in lingerie, stripper outfits, etc.... I open the door fully dressed.
Why? Power and Control. I control when my clothes come off. I control my session from the time I open the door. I have the Power and Control.

A client will talk to me before he touches me. He will get to know me, want me, before he gets to know my body. Why? Power and Control.

Once bcd, I control the activities. I do not have the typical provider routine bcd. I do what I am in the mood to do. Why? Power and Control. A man will give me the pleasure I want and need.

In my mind, I do not get paid to perform for a man. I get paid to allow a man to enjoy spending time with me however I want.

Through the years I have realized and addressed my sick addiction to Power and Control in this hobby.

Today, I am careful with whom I decide to spend time with, and limit my dates for this reason. The money I make is now for my future and appreciated and acknowledged more than it ever was in the past.

I have a much more realistic view on this hobby today, and enjoy physically and emotionally every man (and woman) I spend time with.

For a woman to sell her body is simply not normal human behavior.

We are able to do this because something along the way separated love and sex.

Generally speaking, for women sex is our most private, sacred way to express our emotions to a man. The hobby has no room for emotion, it is the ability to give your body to the highest bidder (per say).

How are we able to do this? For me it was the euphoria of gaining Power and Control over men.

Most providers like myself, have issues that occurred long before they came into this world.

Majority of providers "use" to help cope with these issues and the money made in this hobby allows them to afford their "habits" and also helps to keep them skinny, full of energy and horny enough to have multiple dates in 1 day.
These "habits" also help ladies to feel loved by the men that simply love the pleasure their body gives them.

These are my thoughts and a peak inside my world.

I hope you will respect my honesty.
Most of all, I hope you gain some insight of the real life of being a provider.

Wow.... Here I thought I knew you.....

A rather famous Houston Provider that left us years ago spoke briefly once over not only the Power and the Control that a woman in this business has over a man, but of the responsibility she has a professional courtesan to not abuse that.

It was her posted opinion that the manner in which a woman "disengaged" from the role she played AT THE END OF THE SESSION was what truly defined them as being responsible. Those that continue to exchange pleasantries with their clients via text, PMs and emails were feeding a need in their clients that the client might not understand and WERE maintaining control of that client... not always in the best interest of the client. She stated that in doing so they were breeding their own potential stalkers, jilted lovers, etc... That most of the troubles a Provider had with a Client could be resolved the way she insulated herself personally from it....

With a smile on her face and a slap on the ass she would send them on the way with a comment "Now you get your ass back to work and make some money so you can afford to come back and see me again".... No afterglow..... Just reality

The tag in my signature line originated from my conversations with her many years ago....


She never allowed her clients any illusion or fantasy outside of the session. She never communicated with them about anything other than session scheduling and plans.

For guys that get addicted to the time they spend with the ladies..... It puts a lot of pressure on your soldiers what you do with them when they relinquish control to you....

Thanks for sharing....

Wow.... Here I thought I knew you.....

With a smile on her face and a slap on the ass she would send them on the way with a comment "Now you get your ass back to work and make some money so you can afford to come back and see me again".... No afterglow..... Just reality

I have said the exact same thing.....

Thanks for sharing.... Originally Posted by Whispers

You are very welcome.

Nicely said, Ms Fran. Thank you.

Nice topic whispers. I am addicted to shopping. My shopping habit had a huge impact on my life before . I am on the road to recovery. ex and I Almost debt free. I won't get into details. I still get an itch to go on shopping sprees now and then though.

Anyone want a new sugar baby ?

Kidding

I also had a spending habit. I'm much better now. Had to go to cash basis. No debt except school loans...

Nice topic whispers. I am addicted to shopping. My shopping habit had a huge impact on my life before . I am on the road to recovery. ex and I Almost debt free. I won't get into details. I still get an itch to go on shopping sprees now and then though.

Anyone want a new sugar baby ?

Kidding Originally Posted by Novatx

I'm thinking.....

Ms. Francisca,
Your explanation was profound for me. I'm so sorry reading about the violations to you during your youth. I'm so impressed of your courage to open yourself on the board. You've reminded me of the depth of the girls I meet with. There are wholely incredible back stories to each person and their journey, here. Your post truly makes me pause; there is such need in the hobby for respect to be shared for the person inside the lovely outer veneer.

Ms Francisca - to say I'm impressed by your strength of character and tenacity would be an understatement! You are beyond doubt what I call a 2 percenter - only 2% of the people in the world have your strength of character!

We definately must have a drink together one day - so maybe I can strengthen my weaknesses from your strength! What a fine lady you are!