Should I punish him or NOT?

Not sure If I will receive an infraction for this but I am truly on the fence..

I recently found a ****** in my 21 year old sons room. I cracked the hell up because he is super "straight laced" and I never expected this from him. I am on the fence about punishing the boy.. hes was star athlete in high school, great kid and graduated with honors. He is now attending college at Mizzou..I want to allow him to experience things at home instead of doing it behind my back. As a parent there is a fine line between being a Dad and being a tyrant What to do what to do?

In my day.. I was a bit of a wild card. Every since I retired from the Military and gained my veteran status.. I like to cut loose every now and then..

Hell,..I smoked cigarettes for 25 years on and off while being deployed overseas. I quit 5 years ago and I feel excellent!!! I been shit faced drunk... and that reeks absolute havoc on your body, mind and spirit. ...Man but NOTHING compares to the munchies and white castle after a long pull from *****************....I know this from experience.. So should I punish him for doing something I did when I was young?

While alcohol and tobacco kills millions a year and this is perfectly ok and LEGAL? Not to mention the lives it destroys with the addiction and all..
Comments?

#15 - There is no place in our forums for the general discussion or speculation of illicit drug use. This is to be considered a forbidden topic and mention of it will be removed.

My suggestion is to leave him be. He is 21, not 17. It could be something WAY worse..
And from what you said he has his head on fairly straight.

First of all, why are you going into your 21-year old son's room uninvited? I have a 20 year old living at home and he has had privacy for his space since he was 18 and graduated from high school. But, since you discovered it already, there is not much you can do to punish him - it's a little late for that, but if you don't want that kind of comtrolled substance in your house, I would confront him and say to never bring that back into your house or he can find his own place to live. After that, trust he'll do the right thing or he'll leave.

My suggestion is to leave him be. He is 21, not 17. It could be something WAY worse..
And from what you said he has his head on fairly straight. Originally Posted by DestinyInKC

+1

Also if he favors the GT...at least he's headed to a good school...

I sorta think you should let him know. It is still illegal and I don't care what people say, I have seen people smoke themselves stupid.

That said, don't be a dick about it. He is more than likely fine and a little embarrassment is more than enough to keep him on the recreational side of things.

Send him to Destiny & let her spank him.

LOL!

No matter what the age......

It's YOUR home and some respect is due you for how you choose to live. His age is irrelevant.

He lived under that roof for a lot of years and probably knows what you allow and do not. He has the right to live as he chooses and make his own choices right up to the point they cross your lines...

Tell him how you feel and show him the door if he choose to not adhere to what you want.

It's a life lesson..... He may have a job some day with a private office..... His boss won't care how old he is for crossing boundaries there...

I would talk to him about it, don't just sweep it under the rug. Tell him to be careful and engage with him if you so please and have a great father-son bonding moment.

As Whispers mentions, it is your house.
So, have you previously told him that item xx or yy are not allowed? If not, he hasn't actually broken one of your rules, and all you can do is issue a rules change. If it was one of your known rules, then yes enforcement is required. In the real world minor misdemeanors get community service assignments. So put him to work on whatever.

First of all, why are you going into your 21-year old son's room uninvited? I have a 20 year old living at home and he has had privacy for his space since he was 18 and graduated from high school. But, since you discovered it already, there is not much you can do to punish him - it's a little late for that, but if you don't want that kind of comtrolled substance in your house, I would confront him and say to never bring that back into your house or he can find his own place to live. After that, trust he'll do the right thing or he'll leave. Originally Posted by ou812ne

I agree with these comments. It is your home, being 21 he should know right from wrong by now, but you did enter without being invited.

Thanks Lil Lady .. May I visit you some time?

My suggestion is to leave him be. He is 21, not 17. It could be something WAY worse..
And from what you said he has his head on fairly straight. Originally Posted by DestinyInKC

He is a good man. And my 21 year old son. I haven't yet come to grips with how old he has become. I will speak with him about it. Thank you for the comments. I am not asking to further discuss this because I have received a warning and do not wish to push the envelope any further!

Closed per request.