When do you say something, and when do you keep quiet?

Hi Natalie,
You make some great points - and even though we have our difference in philosophies i can relate to them very much. It is - generally seen - a difficult question to answer. And i like the different ways of seing an issue like that. Thanks for elaborating your points.

Interesting though - when it comes to advising guys on women it`s a tricky question too. Some people are sneaky behind the back and even if guys know that stuff like that happens, they still continue to date women like this. I knew of a woman who pretended to be poly or non-monogamous when dating someone, while behind the back she wanted him exclusive but could not get him. Some people are just very reasonable in telling people what they want to hear. And some people tend to believe things and can`t make a distinction between what is authentic and what is telltales and lies with hidden agendas. And i think some men like women to fight about them for their self esteem.

But i assume that is a whole other discussion.

Interesting though - when it comes to advising guys on women it`s a tricky question too. Some people are sneaky behind the back and even if guys know that stuff like that happens, they still continue to date women like this. I knew of a woman who pretended to be poly or non-monogamous when dating someone, while behind the back she wanted him exclusive but could not get him. Some people are just very reasonable in telling people what they want to hear. And some people tend to believe things and can`t make a distinction between what is authentic and what is telltales and lies with hidden agendas. Originally Posted by ninasastri

Well, I think a lot of people honestly don't know what they want. I think if you care about someone very much, you can convince yourself that you would happily do anything to be with them. I've certainly consented to some less-than-ideal situations in the name of love, because when you really want someone it takes tremendous self awareness and maturity to realize they might not be right for you. This veers off topic quite a bit, but I think there are a fair number of people who consent unhappily to polyamory when they fall in love with someone who insists on it. And it can be extraordinarily difficult to sit down and tell yourself that a particular style of relationship just can't make you happy, after you've fallen for a person who's in it. (Can you tell I've had experience with this? )

And i think some men like women to fight about them for their self esteem.

But i assume that is a whole other discussion.

Oh, yes... I've complained about this before as well!

Well, i assume we all have our experiences with situations like that. What i was trying to say is that some people have hidden agendas and try to manipulate others and not being honest with your agendas , and not necessarily about putting yourself in less than ideal situations. We all do that. I am currently in love with someone next to my primary partner who lives in Europe while i will move to the USA. Great :-/... (rofl)