What's your funniest moment?

I thought this would be fun, What is your funniest moment during a session?

Mine: I had a guy who visited often we where very comfortable with one another. He was sucking on my boobie and I noticed he was sucking a little more harder, and I look down at him he's looking up at me not letting loose. He says my gum is stuck to your boob We laughed our asses off and tried numerous times to start over but we just couldn't get there.

A bit of advice: Sugerfree gum might not stick to teeth, but dam sure does to boobies

Humor....................in sex??

I always laugh when they show insect or animal sex on Animal Planet or Nat Geo but if you step outside yourself a bit we humans are kinda funny too.

That's funny....mine would have 2 be getting caught on my deck naked..I stepped out for a second (won't say what for) and this guy is grilling so I run back in to put clothes & go back out and his girlfriend/wife is there and he is standing behind her looking at me like "yep I saw that" so point is never go out on your deck naked

Not in the hobby, but I once took a girlfriend to the mountains for a romantic weekend.
After 2 days of pretty frequent sex, we were going at it again and I wasn't quite as hard as required.
She was on top and trying to get it in cowgirl, finally, kinda frustrated, she sat back on my thighs and shook my pecker at me and said, "What am I suppose to do with this? I don't like limp sausages!"

I busted out laughing and it was a good half hour before I could get it hard again.
Laughing and sex is great, but it's a boner killer when you laugh too hard!

Always let your provider know what kind of condom you are using if you bring your own!!!

I had this one guy, we were in the middle of a very hot session. I make my way downtown, going at it like a freaking italian sausage but then all of a sudden my whole mouth went numb. I was drooling ( not in the good way) while trying to ask what kind of condom he brought with him.
It came out a little like this:
He had brought the "stamina" rubbers which are known to have numbing agents on the inside of the condom, but I guess he was too swept up in the moment to met me know.
ME:MY muff is noom wha condom did you usee?!?! ARggh!!

We laughed about after it wore off what an experience. Because I will really freaking out thinking this dude had a poisonous moth numbing penis for a moment.

Early in my hobbying days was visiting a lady at her place, one of the legs on her bed must have been weak or cracked. She was on top and we were having a good time, got to close to one edge of the bed the leg broke and if flipped us both onto the floor with the mattress on top of us. Luckily she landed on top so we just laughed it off and finished the appt. with the mattress on top of us on the floor. Will never forget that appointment.

That would be a Kodak moment!!!

That's funny....mine would have 2 be getting caught on my deck naked..I stepped out for a second (won't say what for) and this guy is grilling so I run back in to put clothes & go back out and his girlfriend/wife is there and he is standing behind her looking at me like "yep I saw that" so point is never go out on your deck naked Originally Posted by Sweet N Little

That's funny....mine would have 2 be getting caught on my deck naked..I stepped out for a second (won't say what for) and this guy is grilling so I run back in to put clothes & go back out and his girlfriend/wife is there and he is standing behind her looking at me like "yep I saw that" so point is never go out on your deck naked Originally Posted by Sweet N Little

I know why!

Just sayin'

Huck

One of the providers here likes to call her clients Daddy. So after reading one of the ads I am with my GF. She is on the edge of the bed with her knees up and we are doing it hard and deep. I remember the Daddy thing so I start talking to her and ask her if she likes Daddy's big cock in her. We had never talked like that before and also she is pretty straight.

She looks at me and without missing a beat says 'yeah Daddy, give it to me'. I say 'like this Baby?', and she says 'fuck me hard Daddy'. I start giving it to her really hard and she 'do you like my pussy Daddy?' and I answer 'yeah Baby'. Then she says 'does this mean that you'r not going to fuck Mommy any more?'

I stop, look at her for a minute, and then we both bust out laughing. I couldn't continue. She is cracking up and I am laughing so hard I can't breathe.

LMAO

One of the providers here likes to call her clients Daddy. So after reading one of the ads I am with my GF. She is on the edge of the bed with her knees up and we are doing it hard and deep. I remember the Daddy thing so I start talking to her and ask her if she likes Daddy's big cock in her. We had never talked like that before and also she is pretty straight.

She looks at me and without missing a beat says 'yeah Daddy, give it to me'. I say 'like this Baby?', and she says 'fuck me hard Daddy'. I start giving it to her really hard and she 'do you like my pussy Daddy?' and I answer 'yeah Baby'. Then she says 'does this mean that you'r not going to fuck Mommy any more?'

I stop, look at her for a minute, and then we both bust out laughing. I couldn't continue. She is cracking up and I am laughing so hard I can't breathe. Originally Posted by JohnMacnab

Okay, me and my lady friend just finished our wild ride and just layed on the bed and continued kissing, talking etc, then she excused herself to use my rest room, I called out her name and said "Babe, Your leg". The condom had stuck to her leg during the cuddling session. We both had a good laugh after she turned a bit red.....

That's funny....mine would have 2 be getting caught on my deck naked..I stepped out for a second (won't say what for) and this guy is grilling so I run back in to put clothes & go back out and his girlfriend/wife is there and he is standing behind her looking at me like "yep I saw that" so point is never go out on your deck naked Originally Posted by Sweet N Little

What, you don't want him or her as a client???

Well hhmmm....two come to mind
A) I was with a guy up in NY and he is very vanilla and a sweetheart but divorce and very limited on experience and we were in the MISH position and I reached the big moment and he stopped and looked me confused and said "what was that"...I looked at him and said "I just came" and he looked more confused and said "oh my wife never did that sorry my bad"...and I started laughing so hard...
B) Another NY guy and another i had seen before was having issues so i was sitting between his legs playing with it and I could see he was embarrassed so to lighten the mood i lightly began tapping it on my thigh and said "well I have heard of being pussy whipped but now I can say I have been dick whipped" he started laughing so hard he popped to attention..Love those NY guys

I was not one of the above.

MMMMm ok I need to add a few

Getting caught by the Coast Guard doing it at 1 am on the rear deck of my boat on a warm spring night with a full moon on the Genesee river.

Then go way out on the lake. Drop anchor to slow drift. Going at it on the forward deck on a nice sunny day(next day same provider). Have Coast Guard board boat "you two again". Dang we drifted in fast. I did not feel the anchor set in view of all those water front homes.

Then get boarded the next weekend with another provider. "Who's this and does your other gal know".

By the end of the season that year. They knew all 3 providers I see by name. But never got fine or even see a judge. "BUT WILL YOU PLEASE GO FATHER OUT. Guys out fishing deep water will not place a call that we have to show up for. They may watch, but will not call". mmmm turned out two of them loved being watched.

Loving the stories! My turn!

We all have the OVERLY terrified first timers. I had one guy that was a newbie and so scared we turned the ligts totally out and he stayed dressed.(Only revealing the goods) It was fun, even though we never got any further than a hot protien shot. All of the sudden I get sick at my stomach. I crawled a couple steps into the bathroom and upchucked. Leaning out of the bathroom, he had turned the light on and had a look on his face that would only happen if a girl just threw up your gift. I still have no idea WHY I got sick! I felt so bad for this newbie as he left. I don't think he ever returned to the hobby ever again.
*turns red*