I've been reading TER & Eccie, and have come to the conclusion that you have forsaken me for the passions of another man...or 2 or three ahh or more and throw in a couple girls too. With a heart that's broken, an ego crushed, so much for being your 1 and only. However an hour or 2 of your time should fix all previously mentioned problems!
As for that little fat man named Santa who will be climbing down your chimney. Beware of the gift he is about to deposit, not under the tree, but between your legs.
As for the envelope with a donation inside, left on the fireplace mantle, it is for compensation of your visit with me, I mean he, and the little Mrs. a few months ago.
Happy Holidays.
Oh BTW "hot pants" with cuffs made with a wool blend are still hot pants, not "winter shorts"
You will find that I've also returned your shoe which you will find under the tree. However, so sorry for the scuff marks. Don;t know where the other 1 shoe ran off to of the other pair, but if I see one of your girlfriends walking around with a mismatched pair of high heels, we'll all know where it went.
Best of luck as an Indi. Knew it should have been that way, from the 1st time I met you.