This is for the ladies, but I am curious as to what you men have to say....

This site is ALL about the hobbyist and what we can do for them. Originally Posted by Kendall4U

Not all providers are going to share that attitude. To a great many of them, this is a source of clients, which makes all the other providers the competition. Everyone will have a tendecy to look out for themselves first, and if that means they can try to keep a client from seeing someone else, so be it.

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Name names, or spare the site the bandwidth. PMing the names does no good. If it isn't searchable, it doesn't really harm the ladies. If you can't get a reply from them, what is it going to hurt... are they not going to reply to your requests?

I really want to know when a lady I wish to see is having problems with one of my referances. ... Let the gents know that you are unable to get her to reply to your request for a referance. If I was using her as a referance, she would either reply in a timely manner, or lose my future business entirely. Originally Posted by 69er

... Heck, there is one provider I haven't heard back from since November AND I never heard back from the gent. Go figure. Since then, I don't contact her when a gent uses her as reference. I skip to the next provider never telling the gent. Originally Posted by EmilyEzzell

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Once I've received the forwarded message and have verified the info/identities of those involved, I let the guy know that his screening is complete or ask for more information.

If an extended amount of time passes and I receive no forwarded messages and no further inquiries, I figure his reference has made him an offer he can't refuse. ...
If he hasn't heard from me after an extended amount of time, I can tell him that the lady he thought would put in a good word for him has not done so when he inquires about the progress of the screening. ... Best of all, I don't have to tattle on the ladies who don't play nice.... They tattle on themselves. Originally Posted by Caitie Mae

Let the gentlemen know his references aren't checking out and why. Let him light a fire to have them call you back or find out if they're still active. If that doesnt work he'll at least know not to use them as references anymore. ... Originally Posted by sinkerswim

looks like there's some great and common sense in our little sub-culture.

if a guy gives WOMAN A as a reference to WOMAN B and WOMAN A doesnt respond to inquiries for that reference, then i would like WOMAN B to let me know [whether she contacts me or i contact her after a day or two].

if i dont learn that WOMAN A is not responding, i cannot ask her to reply or find out why she isnt replying.

if she's been out of touch or out of town or had a legit reason, i'll ask her to reply to WOMAN B [copying her]. hopefully, comm lines will reopen.

if she is just plain uncommunicative for whatever reason, she is a candidate for removal from my go-visit-her-again [gvha] list.

and if i need to provide another reference, i will do so.

as my sigline says "have fun out there!!!"
otherwise [as i tell my friends young kids and pre-teens that i take out for fun weekends, if it ain't fun (that is, they're whiney, bitchy, overly demanding)], then i'm not going to be with them again.
their choice!!

I wish we all played the game fairly, unfortunately some don't. I have no problems putting them on blast, if I am being ignored and or she does shady shit. I have had guys ask that I don't reveal that they seen me because another lady will get pissed. I will agree to be discreet, but that's BS we all play on this playground and no one said you cant have multiple friends.

How and the hell can another provider be PO'd, because you as a hobbyist play the field? Did she forget she's boinking others. Some need to grow up to play here!

I have always and will always be reference friendly, and those who are not well that's all good, but you best know if I get ignored, I won't ever take her for a reference. There are a few on that list, but I also will let the gentleman know you don't play on my playground.

For the majority of the ladies, they get what safety means. I am very thankful to all of them.

looks like there's some great and common sense in our little sub-culture. Originally Posted by pmdelites

In our little sub-culture, as in the real world, that which makes the greatest sense is often not-so common. It's awesome that so many people can come together on a subject which is so important on so many levels.